Monday, April 27, 2009
Feel That Fire
There are so many things I want in life, that I want in that special someone. I heard this song a while ago and it described the things I want most. But I think the biggest thing for me is to "feel that fire."
Over the past few weeks I have been struggling with this and wanting to feel something more. I connect on an intellectual level with this person, which is new for me. At the same time I feel there is something missing and I seek to gain a greater ken of what it is. There are glimpses here and there, and there are times I take a step back.
A person can have many redeeming qualities. But do those qualities overtake traits I see and lived with for 16 years? I work to find the veracity between those qualities and the red flags I see. What can I live with and what can I not?
I want to feel the fire. I want to know as sure as I know the sun will rise and set each day. I want to see, touch, and feel the heat from the flame. Otherwise I am a solitary match that will not last beyond the reach of its source.
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Heart
A heart
What is the heart?
Does it think?
Does it feel?
Life
Blood blue as the sky
Flows in and out
It pumps
It works
Never stopping
The heart
Love and sacrifice
Tirelessly for you
Without it we die
Without love we die
A heart like His
Do you feel it?
Love
Sacrifice
Peace
Compassion
He reaches for you
Will you open?
The choice is yours
A heart
Does it think?
Does it feel?
What is the heart?
Does it think?
Does it feel?
Life
Blood blue as the sky
Flows in and out
It pumps
It works
Never stopping
The heart
Love and sacrifice
Tirelessly for you
Without it we die
Without love we die
A heart like His
Do you feel it?
Love
Sacrifice
Peace
Compassion
He reaches for you
Will you open?
The choice is yours
A heart
Does it think?
Does it feel?
Saturday, April 04, 2009
Untitled
Raw talent
Runs through walls
Climbs tall mountains
Almost a year ago I sat in an evaluation with a supervisor and these were the three positives he named about me. I think about them every-now-and-again. Sometimes I wonder what they mean. Why these three things? Are they positives?
These are the things that run through my mind when someone says something about me. Does it matter in the long run? Probably not so much. But I always find it interesting to know what other people think about me, even though I don't place a lot of weight on it.
Recently I came into contact with someone after quite a long time of not talking to them. This person said some things about me that I honestly never saw in myself at that age. They also reminded me of some things and I had to giggle at my sheer immaturity about life. I also know there were some things I said that would not make me giggle today.
Life is a tough teacher. The toughest teacher I know. But I also know that from it are gained the most valuable lectures. Our interactions with people become our testing ground to see if we have learned the lesson, and if so how well.
Communication thus becomes the key to our knowledge and understanding. If you don't ever tell someone they have offended or hurt you, most likely they will never know and life goes on for them; and all-the-while you are holding hurt and anger inside. If you don't ever tell someone how much you appreciate them, likewise they will never know. If you don't ever tell someone they are admired, they may live their life never knowing and wondering.
Are we quick to give praise and compliments? Or are we quicker to give criticism because it's easier to find fault? Abraham Lincoln once said that if you are looking for failure in a person, you will surely find it. Why do we look for failure and not for success in people? Why don't we give more positive reinforcement?
In the last few years of my life I have worked at being more expressive to the people around me. I am sure I have been found in the category of not expressing myself and/or finding fault in others. However, changing my focus has made me a better and a happier person. People deserve to know they are loved and appreciated.
Thus, as I stated before, "Communication is the key to our knowledge and understanding."
Runs through walls
Climbs tall mountains
Almost a year ago I sat in an evaluation with a supervisor and these were the three positives he named about me. I think about them every-now-and-again. Sometimes I wonder what they mean. Why these three things? Are they positives?
These are the things that run through my mind when someone says something about me. Does it matter in the long run? Probably not so much. But I always find it interesting to know what other people think about me, even though I don't place a lot of weight on it.
Recently I came into contact with someone after quite a long time of not talking to them. This person said some things about me that I honestly never saw in myself at that age. They also reminded me of some things and I had to giggle at my sheer immaturity about life. I also know there were some things I said that would not make me giggle today.
Life is a tough teacher. The toughest teacher I know. But I also know that from it are gained the most valuable lectures. Our interactions with people become our testing ground to see if we have learned the lesson, and if so how well.
Communication thus becomes the key to our knowledge and understanding. If you don't ever tell someone they have offended or hurt you, most likely they will never know and life goes on for them; and all-the-while you are holding hurt and anger inside. If you don't ever tell someone how much you appreciate them, likewise they will never know. If you don't ever tell someone they are admired, they may live their life never knowing and wondering.
Are we quick to give praise and compliments? Or are we quicker to give criticism because it's easier to find fault? Abraham Lincoln once said that if you are looking for failure in a person, you will surely find it. Why do we look for failure and not for success in people? Why don't we give more positive reinforcement?
In the last few years of my life I have worked at being more expressive to the people around me. I am sure I have been found in the category of not expressing myself and/or finding fault in others. However, changing my focus has made me a better and a happier person. People deserve to know they are loved and appreciated.
Thus, as I stated before, "Communication is the key to our knowledge and understanding."
He Walked a Mile in My Shoes
The first time I heard this song I was at a Nashville Tribute Band concert at Bella's. I was so touched by the lyrics and understood a small portion more of the Atonement of Jesus Christ.
Recently I had an experience so beautiful I don't even know if I can do it justice in words. For a small moment my sight was taken from me and I had the opportunity to feel and smell the different elements of the Sacrifice Jesus Christ made for me. My eyes were wet with tears as I suddenly gained a new perspective of the Atonement.
On the days where I feel like no one knows what I am going through, I can turn to my Savior. He knows what I am going through, and more. He understands feeling; he understands heavy burdens; he understands unlawful accusation; he understands pain; he understands crying out to God for something to be removed from him, but needing to endure the pain; he understands loss; and most of all He understands charity toward all mankind.
Something President Henry B. Eyring said in General Conference this morning struck me: "We are being blessed to suffer." I think about that statement and the marvelous opportunity our sufferings give us to grow closer to our Heavenly Father and our Savior. How marvelous to know that our suffering will never be in vain and that they "shall be but for a small moment.
Many are called, but few are chosen
34 Behold, there are many acalled, but few are chosen. And why are they not chosen?
36 That the arights of the priesthood are inseparably connected with the powers of heaven, and that the powers of heaven cannot be bcontrolled nor handled only upon the cprinciples of righteousness.
I've been thinking about this scripture over the last week, and pondering on what it means in my life right now. My mission president always reminded us of the principle: Few are called because they are more worried about the world than they are about eternal matters. Because of this, they are in a sense denied of the full power of the gift of the Holy Ghost.
There are some wonderful people we are working with and we had tickets for them to go to conference this weekend. I couldn't go because of a previous engagement so I was looking to give someone else an opportunity for some missionary work. Almost without fail each person I asked wasn't busy until I asked them to take some people to conference.
Why do we deny ourselves of the blessings? Why are we so worried about something that will be there later in the day? Something we can do next week? But this moment for someone to be somewhere and to feel the spirit only comes once, and perhaps may never come again?
I am struggling to understand why we are so willing to put the things of the world over the things of the spirit, eternal things. This is not to say I am a perfect person by any means because I sure have my faults. I think of the statement from King Benjamin in the Book of Mormon to his people:
" For the anatural bman is an cenemy to God, and has been from the dfall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever, unless he eyields to the enticings of the Holy fSpirit, and gputteth off the hnatural man and becometh a isaint through the atonement of Christ the Lord, and becometh as a jchild, ksubmissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father" (Mosiah 3:19).
The natural man is an enemy to God unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy Spirit... How is it then that we can have the Holy Ghost more prominently in our lives? Heavenly Father taught us in D&C 121 that the powers of heaven, the Holy Ghost, comes on basis of principles of righteousness. Setting our hearts on the things of the world will not get us the power that we need and/or should be seeking. King Benjamin taught us that we become a saint through the Atonement of Christ, becoming as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, and willing to submit to all.
"Behold, there are many acalled, but few are chosen."
I've been thinking about this scripture over the last week, and pondering on what it means in my life right now. My mission president always reminded us of the principle: Few are called because they are more worried about the world than they are about eternal matters. Because of this, they are in a sense denied of the full power of the gift of the Holy Ghost.
There are some wonderful people we are working with and we had tickets for them to go to conference this weekend. I couldn't go because of a previous engagement so I was looking to give someone else an opportunity for some missionary work. Almost without fail each person I asked wasn't busy until I asked them to take some people to conference.
Why do we deny ourselves of the blessings? Why are we so worried about something that will be there later in the day? Something we can do next week? But this moment for someone to be somewhere and to feel the spirit only comes once, and perhaps may never come again?
I am struggling to understand why we are so willing to put the things of the world over the things of the spirit, eternal things. This is not to say I am a perfect person by any means because I sure have my faults. I think of the statement from King Benjamin in the Book of Mormon to his people:
" For the anatural bman is an cenemy to God, and has been from the dfall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever, unless he eyields to the enticings of the Holy fSpirit, and gputteth off the hnatural man and becometh a isaint through the atonement of Christ the Lord, and becometh as a jchild, ksubmissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father" (Mosiah 3:19).
The natural man is an enemy to God unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy Spirit... How is it then that we can have the Holy Ghost more prominently in our lives? Heavenly Father taught us in D&C 121 that the powers of heaven, the Holy Ghost, comes on basis of principles of righteousness. Setting our hearts on the things of the world will not get us the power that we need and/or should be seeking. King Benjamin taught us that we become a saint through the Atonement of Christ, becoming as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, and willing to submit to all.
"Behold, there are many acalled, but few are chosen."
Wednesday, April 01, 2009
A sure foundation
24 ¶ Therefore whosoever aheareth these sayings of mine, and bdoeth them, cI will liken him unto a dwise man, which ebuilt his house upon fa rock:
26 And every one that heareth these sayings of mine, and doeth them not, shall be likened unto a afoolish man, which built his house upon the sand:
27 And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that ahouse; and it bfell: and great was the fall of it.
Last week I had a chat with my bishop and something came flying out of my mouth: "Sometimes I start building my house before I have a sure foundation in place, before I even have a whole dug for the footings."
Wow! It was sure an eye opener for me. Many times there are things in life that I do a little backwards and it gets me jumbled up and in places where I need not be in life.
A testimony for example. How can we expect to gain a sure and abiding testimony about the gospel of Jesus Christ if first we haven't created a sure foundation? This foundation is created by scripture study, prayer, and attending church meetings regularly. If we haven't paid the price by doing those small things, how do we then expect ourselves to be "ready" to receive greater things?
I think of it like going to a weight-lifting competition. Competitor A has been training for months, has sacrificed and paid the price to be in shape. Competitor B just showed up the day of the competition and expects that he will be able to win. Competitor B may be able to hang in with Competitor A for a while, but over time his strength will wan and he won't have the stamina to continue lifting heavy loads that are placed on the bar.
Our own spiritual journey is like this. We can run the race for a while, but over time our endurance will wan and we will get tired. There can be no expectation to endure the race if a solid foundation hasn't begun to be put in place. Without a foundation we become as the match that lights and burns for a short moment and then goes out. But the foundation will surround us with other "pieces of wood" that will keep our light burning.
God teaches if we build, "upon the foundation of my gospel and my brock, the cgates of hell shall not prevail against [us]" (D&C 18:5). " And now, my sons, remember, remember that it is upon the arock of our Redeemer, who is Christ, the Son of God, that ye must build your bfoundation; that when the devil shall send forth his mighty winds, yea, his shafts in the whirlwind, yea, when all his hail and his mighty cstorm shall beat upon you, it shall have no power over you to drag you down to the gulf of misery and endless wo, because of the rock upon which ye are built, which is a sure foundation, a foundation whereon if men build they cannot fall" (Hel. 5:12).
In my mission journal I was writing about this concept and my desire to not only have the spirit in my life, but to have the spiritual experiences. Something quite profound stuck out to me, "You haven't paid the price." Bam! Knowledge is not acquired without some kind of sacrifice, and spiritual experiences are no less the same. A testimony takes work. Joseph Smith Jr. said that a religion that does not require the sacrifice of its people will never have what it takes to get them back to the presence of God.
Are we so arogant to think that because we get baptized a testimony will come and endure forever? We are given the gift of the Holy Ghost, but it is a gift that requires work on our part to keep it. It is a gift we must be workthy of; it is a gift that gets greater the more effort we put into it; it is a gift that will give us more power than anything else in this world can.
"And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell not: for it was founded upon a rock."
Last week I had a chat with my bishop and something came flying out of my mouth: "Sometimes I start building my house before I have a sure foundation in place, before I even have a whole dug for the footings."
Wow! It was sure an eye opener for me. Many times there are things in life that I do a little backwards and it gets me jumbled up and in places where I need not be in life.
A testimony for example. How can we expect to gain a sure and abiding testimony about the gospel of Jesus Christ if first we haven't created a sure foundation? This foundation is created by scripture study, prayer, and attending church meetings regularly. If we haven't paid the price by doing those small things, how do we then expect ourselves to be "ready" to receive greater things?
I think of it like going to a weight-lifting competition. Competitor A has been training for months, has sacrificed and paid the price to be in shape. Competitor B just showed up the day of the competition and expects that he will be able to win. Competitor B may be able to hang in with Competitor A for a while, but over time his strength will wan and he won't have the stamina to continue lifting heavy loads that are placed on the bar.
Our own spiritual journey is like this. We can run the race for a while, but over time our endurance will wan and we will get tired. There can be no expectation to endure the race if a solid foundation hasn't begun to be put in place. Without a foundation we become as the match that lights and burns for a short moment and then goes out. But the foundation will surround us with other "pieces of wood" that will keep our light burning.
God teaches if we build, "upon the foundation of my gospel and my brock, the cgates of hell shall not prevail against [us]" (D&C 18:5). " And now, my sons, remember, remember that it is upon the arock of our Redeemer, who is Christ, the Son of God, that ye must build your bfoundation; that when the devil shall send forth his mighty winds, yea, his shafts in the whirlwind, yea, when all his hail and his mighty cstorm shall beat upon you, it shall have no power over you to drag you down to the gulf of misery and endless wo, because of the rock upon which ye are built, which is a sure foundation, a foundation whereon if men build they cannot fall" (Hel. 5:12).
In my mission journal I was writing about this concept and my desire to not only have the spirit in my life, but to have the spiritual experiences. Something quite profound stuck out to me, "You haven't paid the price." Bam! Knowledge is not acquired without some kind of sacrifice, and spiritual experiences are no less the same. A testimony takes work. Joseph Smith Jr. said that a religion that does not require the sacrifice of its people will never have what it takes to get them back to the presence of God.
Are we so arogant to think that because we get baptized a testimony will come and endure forever? We are given the gift of the Holy Ghost, but it is a gift that requires work on our part to keep it. It is a gift we must be workthy of; it is a gift that gets greater the more effort we put into it; it is a gift that will give us more power than anything else in this world can.
"And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell not: for it was founded upon a rock."
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