I have been thinking about something I said to Trevor last night and I think it rolls over into my personal life.
As I have worked, I have been able to negotiate for the better of what I am doing. I have been able to get what I want for that cause. It was hard, but I always found a way.
In my life, however, I am terrible at negotiating for what I want, for me personally. Maybe perhaps it is because I am not completly sure what I want, or afraid of the impending results. I think this is maybe why I have not actively sought a perminant job, actively persued a relationship or like things.
Boys are one area of my weakness. I get nervous when I am around them. When someone shows interest, I am not sure what to do and I pretty much freeze. I am not sure why. It is even more weird because I do fine in friend situations.
When the challenge comes to talk about things, to continue or not, I usually leave the decisions up to the other people. I allow people to exercise their agency without telling them how I feel. In a way, I guess you could say I don't fight for what I want, personally.
What I cannot predict, or know, scares me. I know I must have the faith to take that step into the dark, but it is easier to say than to do. In my life, I have never really had a functional relationship allowing me the opportunity to get over that hill.
Saturday, September 30, 2006
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
The Temple
Today did not turn out how I thought it would. I had planned to go to San Felipe to see a family. However, I called and Janyo did not answer. So I didn´t go. I was looking forward to seeing the family too, but maybe it wasn´t ment to be.
These last few days I have not felt very good. I think I may have overdone it or something. My body is really tired and I just want to sit and do nothing.
That is pretty much what I have been doing for the last hour or so. I decided that since I wasn´t going to San Felipe, I would go to the temple grounds. I havn´t been able to attend a session because I forgot my recommend, but it was wonderful to sit outside and read.
The temple hasn´t changed as much as I thought it would. But even still, it is a beautiful place. The gardens are beautiful and the spirit that exists there is distinct and special. Even though I was outside, there was a sense of quiet there. I could have stayed there the rest of the day.
Today will be my last full day here in Chile (at least on land). Tonight I have two overlapping compromisos... eak! I am not sure what I am going to do. I have an Once and a birthday celebration/despedida. Ijole! What am I going to do???
Tomorrow, I am not sure what I am going to do. Hopefully I will be able to see Jaramillo, but I am not sure. I did not e-mail him as soon as I wanted to. For some reason I thought I had all the time in the world... and tomorrow I go home...
While I am exicted to go home, I also have something pulling me here. I have grown to love Chile and the people that are here. The lifestyle is also super distinct. I would like to live here, but I am not sure that is in the plans for me. We will see what the Lord has planned.
For now, I look forward to General Conference and being able to hug those who are so dear to me.
These last few days I have not felt very good. I think I may have overdone it or something. My body is really tired and I just want to sit and do nothing.
That is pretty much what I have been doing for the last hour or so. I decided that since I wasn´t going to San Felipe, I would go to the temple grounds. I havn´t been able to attend a session because I forgot my recommend, but it was wonderful to sit outside and read.
The temple hasn´t changed as much as I thought it would. But even still, it is a beautiful place. The gardens are beautiful and the spirit that exists there is distinct and special. Even though I was outside, there was a sense of quiet there. I could have stayed there the rest of the day.
Today will be my last full day here in Chile (at least on land). Tonight I have two overlapping compromisos... eak! I am not sure what I am going to do. I have an Once and a birthday celebration/despedida. Ijole! What am I going to do???
Tomorrow, I am not sure what I am going to do. Hopefully I will be able to see Jaramillo, but I am not sure. I did not e-mail him as soon as I wanted to. For some reason I thought I had all the time in the world... and tomorrow I go home...
While I am exicted to go home, I also have something pulling me here. I have grown to love Chile and the people that are here. The lifestyle is also super distinct. I would like to live here, but I am not sure that is in the plans for me. We will see what the Lord has planned.
For now, I look forward to General Conference and being able to hug those who are so dear to me.
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
What an adventure!
OK... So, yesterday I returned to Curacavì and things were going great. A blister I had gotten the previous day was bothering me a little, but I didn´t think much of it.
I passed by to see Silvia and her bajillion animalitos. She doesn´t have a dime to her name, but she has all the love in her heart to save animals from the streets and try to feed them. It takes a special kind of person to do that.
After leaving her house, I went in search of chocolate artesenal. YUM! It is my favorite chocolate in the whole world, and practically the only one I can eat without getting sick (apart from brownies... fresh out of the oven... YUM!) Someday, if I ever get married and I decide to change my mind and make a deal out of it, I am going to order these chocolates... Anyhow, I got there, got my order and then found out the credit card line was bad... So I have to return today to pay for it... argh!
I also spent some time preparing to teach the lesson for the noche de hogar we were going to have with Luna, Maricela, Antonia y whoever else came. Although, we didn´t have it because visitas came. In turn it was good that they came and neat to watch Luna invite her friend to listen to the missionaries (even though she hasn´t been to church in a while). We were talking and I hope with all of my heart she will return to church and remember why she was baptized in the first place.
Anyhow, we were talking and all of a sudden 1.5 hrs had passed by and it was 9:55 p.m. The last bus leaves Curacavì at 10 p.m. I found out. I waited in hopes that one would perhaps come, and it didn´t. I asked a taxi how much he would charge me to go to Stgo. and he said 20 luca (about $40). Nope!
So I started to walk. I really didn´t know how far I intended to walk or why I was doing it, I just started to walk. At this point, my blister was hurting. (In my attempt to run to catch the last bus, it broke open and started to bleed.) I took my shoes off and continued to walk. Menos mal that it was a rather pleasant night. I got to the freeway entrance and continued walking.
I told myself that I was going to walk to the next bus stop and wait until the first bus in the morning. Little did I know how far the next stop was. When you are cruzing (sp?) along in a bus, it doesn´t seem like that far. I stuck my thumb out a few times, but not many people are will to stop for someone at 11 p.m. on the freeway.
As I continued walking I just laughed at myself and the strange adventure I was having. I am not sure how many miles I walked but I was getting tired and beginning to wonder where the next paradero was. That is when I saw a truck stopped on the side of the road ahead. I thought the driver was probably inside asleep.
I walked past and said hello to the person in the driver´s seat and continued walking. All of a sudden I hear "Adonde vai?" I stopped and turned around and told him I was going to Santiago. He asked if I intended to walk there. I told him I had missed the last bus and that I was going to wait for one in the morning at the next bus stop. He told me that if I wanted, he would take me. I said sure and hoped in. It was great!
His name is Josè and he has been separated from his wife about 10 yrs. They have three children (1 girl and 2 boys). He has been a truck driver for more than 12 years (the reason for the separation).
Josè asked about me, how I learned the lingo and all that jazz. I told him I was in Chile as a missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ and in turn asked him if he ever saw missionaries in Casa Blance. He said he had, that sometimes he talks to them and that there is a church close by. In the end, I invited him to stop by one Sunday and to talk more with the missionaries.
He had to leave me at Vespucio Sur (still far from my destination). I started walking again, crossed the freeway to get to San Pablo/Lo Prado and headed on. As I was walking I saw this man who stopped for a minute and looked at me. Our eyes met for a minute and I continued walking on. A few seconds later I heard shuffling and looked again. This man had turned around and started to walk the same direction as I, but on the other side of the street (keep in mind it is about 12:30 a.m.).
I got this strange feeling inside of me and I prayed that the Lord would send me a taxi. On my side, I started to walk faster and continued to pray. Suddenly, I heard the sound of tires on the concrete road and turned around. It was a taxi! I stuck my hand out and he stopped for me. It was sooner than I wanted to take a taxi, but something inside of me told me to get in. I am not sure what would have happend, but I didn´t want to find out.
The Lord is wonderful and is always watching over us. I only give thanks that he sends angels to us in distinct forms to help us along and give us the encouragement we need to progress.
I passed by to see Silvia and her bajillion animalitos. She doesn´t have a dime to her name, but she has all the love in her heart to save animals from the streets and try to feed them. It takes a special kind of person to do that.
After leaving her house, I went in search of chocolate artesenal. YUM! It is my favorite chocolate in the whole world, and practically the only one I can eat without getting sick (apart from brownies... fresh out of the oven... YUM!) Someday, if I ever get married and I decide to change my mind and make a deal out of it, I am going to order these chocolates... Anyhow, I got there, got my order and then found out the credit card line was bad... So I have to return today to pay for it... argh!
I also spent some time preparing to teach the lesson for the noche de hogar we were going to have with Luna, Maricela, Antonia y whoever else came. Although, we didn´t have it because visitas came. In turn it was good that they came and neat to watch Luna invite her friend to listen to the missionaries (even though she hasn´t been to church in a while). We were talking and I hope with all of my heart she will return to church and remember why she was baptized in the first place.
Anyhow, we were talking and all of a sudden 1.5 hrs had passed by and it was 9:55 p.m. The last bus leaves Curacavì at 10 p.m. I found out. I waited in hopes that one would perhaps come, and it didn´t. I asked a taxi how much he would charge me to go to Stgo. and he said 20 luca (about $40). Nope!
So I started to walk. I really didn´t know how far I intended to walk or why I was doing it, I just started to walk. At this point, my blister was hurting. (In my attempt to run to catch the last bus, it broke open and started to bleed.) I took my shoes off and continued to walk. Menos mal that it was a rather pleasant night. I got to the freeway entrance and continued walking.
I told myself that I was going to walk to the next bus stop and wait until the first bus in the morning. Little did I know how far the next stop was. When you are cruzing (sp?) along in a bus, it doesn´t seem like that far. I stuck my thumb out a few times, but not many people are will to stop for someone at 11 p.m. on the freeway.
As I continued walking I just laughed at myself and the strange adventure I was having. I am not sure how many miles I walked but I was getting tired and beginning to wonder where the next paradero was. That is when I saw a truck stopped on the side of the road ahead. I thought the driver was probably inside asleep.
I walked past and said hello to the person in the driver´s seat and continued walking. All of a sudden I hear "Adonde vai?" I stopped and turned around and told him I was going to Santiago. He asked if I intended to walk there. I told him I had missed the last bus and that I was going to wait for one in the morning at the next bus stop. He told me that if I wanted, he would take me. I said sure and hoped in. It was great!
His name is Josè and he has been separated from his wife about 10 yrs. They have three children (1 girl and 2 boys). He has been a truck driver for more than 12 years (the reason for the separation).
Josè asked about me, how I learned the lingo and all that jazz. I told him I was in Chile as a missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ and in turn asked him if he ever saw missionaries in Casa Blance. He said he had, that sometimes he talks to them and that there is a church close by. In the end, I invited him to stop by one Sunday and to talk more with the missionaries.
He had to leave me at Vespucio Sur (still far from my destination). I started walking again, crossed the freeway to get to San Pablo/Lo Prado and headed on. As I was walking I saw this man who stopped for a minute and looked at me. Our eyes met for a minute and I continued walking on. A few seconds later I heard shuffling and looked again. This man had turned around and started to walk the same direction as I, but on the other side of the street (keep in mind it is about 12:30 a.m.).
I got this strange feeling inside of me and I prayed that the Lord would send me a taxi. On my side, I started to walk faster and continued to pray. Suddenly, I heard the sound of tires on the concrete road and turned around. It was a taxi! I stuck my hand out and he stopped for me. It was sooner than I wanted to take a taxi, but something inside of me told me to get in. I am not sure what would have happend, but I didn´t want to find out.
The Lord is wonderful and is always watching over us. I only give thanks that he sends angels to us in distinct forms to help us along and give us the encouragement we need to progress.
Monday, September 25, 2006
The Beauty of God
As people, we will never be up on the Lord. He will always show us His hand in our lives when we least expect it.
These last few days in Chile have been wonderful. On Saturday we went out to Viña del Mar, Valparaiso, Con Còn and some other places. It was beautiful. The beaches, the fresh air, the beauty of the edge of the world. Something inside of me pulls me to stay here. I have fallen in love with Chile. At the same time, there are many things I am not sure of. Perhaps in the future I will return to stay.
Sunday, I went to church in Curacavì. I thought I was going as a surprise, but the Lord had something better in store. When I got there, there were hardly any people and none that I knew. So, I helped to set up the chairs and studied my scriptures some.
An hno. came up to me and asked if I had served in the ward. I told him yes and he told me he remembered me because of the time we played soccer. That was when I was in the barrio San Pablo and never thought I would be called to Curacavì (just over the mtns and in the same zone). We had a good laugh...
Hno. Farrias asked if I would lead the music since Claudia had to work. I said sure, why not? It was interesting because I had to dig out my singing voice to give the tone... eak! The surprise came as I was leading the last hymn. The hymn was Called to Serve and during the fourth verse I looked at all the people I had grown to love while I was a missionary and then m eyes focused on an hna. I knew her.
It was Gloria, an hna we had taught and who I taught English classes to. She would never commit to baptism, but she would listen and do her thing. I left her some books and magazines in English (from the Church of course ;) ). She said she always reads through them and remembers our time together. I started to cry when I realized it was her.
The realization that the work of the Lord continues even after we are gone is a beautiful thing. She was getting baptized that day and I had been directed to be in Curacavì at the precise time. The Lord truely works wonders in our lives. I was able to see her baptism and share in the wonderful moment with her. It was awesome!
I then had the opportunity to go out with the elders and visit a family I knew. Miriam was an inactive, new convert we were working with. Her two beautiful daughters and husband had not yet chosen to follow her. The elders told me that a few weeks ago Francie was baptized and Victor is closer and closer to the faunt. I think he still faults some basic principals, but he will get there. Deborah is not yet old enough, but I have a lot of confidence in her.
I had the amazing opportunity to bear my testimony to them, especially Victor. The spirit touched me so strong and I know there is a reason the missionaries keep knocking the door and sharing with Victor. He is truely special.
Luna has not been to church in about 1 yr. She passed by some difficult times and I only pray that what the Lord directs me to say this evening will help her. Maricela is strong and even takes Antonia sometimes. They are three special, strong women who have a mission to complete in the Church. Wow!
My time is growing short here and I want to close my eyes and hope that the minutes stop. There is so much work to be done here and so many lives to be touched. Chile is truely a blessed land full of promises. Someday it will be a light to the world just as Elder Holland said.
These last few days in Chile have been wonderful. On Saturday we went out to Viña del Mar, Valparaiso, Con Còn and some other places. It was beautiful. The beaches, the fresh air, the beauty of the edge of the world. Something inside of me pulls me to stay here. I have fallen in love with Chile. At the same time, there are many things I am not sure of. Perhaps in the future I will return to stay.
Sunday, I went to church in Curacavì. I thought I was going as a surprise, but the Lord had something better in store. When I got there, there were hardly any people and none that I knew. So, I helped to set up the chairs and studied my scriptures some.
An hno. came up to me and asked if I had served in the ward. I told him yes and he told me he remembered me because of the time we played soccer. That was when I was in the barrio San Pablo and never thought I would be called to Curacavì (just over the mtns and in the same zone). We had a good laugh...
Hno. Farrias asked if I would lead the music since Claudia had to work. I said sure, why not? It was interesting because I had to dig out my singing voice to give the tone... eak! The surprise came as I was leading the last hymn. The hymn was Called to Serve and during the fourth verse I looked at all the people I had grown to love while I was a missionary and then m eyes focused on an hna. I knew her.
It was Gloria, an hna we had taught and who I taught English classes to. She would never commit to baptism, but she would listen and do her thing. I left her some books and magazines in English (from the Church of course ;) ). She said she always reads through them and remembers our time together. I started to cry when I realized it was her.
The realization that the work of the Lord continues even after we are gone is a beautiful thing. She was getting baptized that day and I had been directed to be in Curacavì at the precise time. The Lord truely works wonders in our lives. I was able to see her baptism and share in the wonderful moment with her. It was awesome!
I then had the opportunity to go out with the elders and visit a family I knew. Miriam was an inactive, new convert we were working with. Her two beautiful daughters and husband had not yet chosen to follow her. The elders told me that a few weeks ago Francie was baptized and Victor is closer and closer to the faunt. I think he still faults some basic principals, but he will get there. Deborah is not yet old enough, but I have a lot of confidence in her.
I had the amazing opportunity to bear my testimony to them, especially Victor. The spirit touched me so strong and I know there is a reason the missionaries keep knocking the door and sharing with Victor. He is truely special.
Luna has not been to church in about 1 yr. She passed by some difficult times and I only pray that what the Lord directs me to say this evening will help her. Maricela is strong and even takes Antonia sometimes. They are three special, strong women who have a mission to complete in the Church. Wow!
My time is growing short here and I want to close my eyes and hope that the minutes stop. There is so much work to be done here and so many lives to be touched. Chile is truely a blessed land full of promises. Someday it will be a light to the world just as Elder Holland said.
The Beauty of God
As people, we will never be up on the Lord. He will always show us His hand in our lives when we least expect it.
These last few days in Chile have been wonderful. On Saturday we went out to Viña del Mar, Valparaiso, Con Còn and some other places. It was beautiful. The beaches, the fresh air, the beauty of the edge of the world. Something inside of me pulls me to stay here. I have fallen in love with Chile. At the same time, there are many things I am not sure of. Perhaps in the future I will return to stay.
Sunday, I went to church in Curacavì. I thought I was going as a surprise, but the Lord had something better in store. When I got there, there were hardly any people and none that I knew. So, I helped to set up the chairs and studied my scriptures some.
An hno. came up to me and asked if I had served in the ward. I told him yes and he told me he remembered me because of the time we played soccer. That was when I was in the barrio San Pablo and never thought I would be called to Curacavì (just over the mtns and in the same zone). We had a good laugh...
Hno. Farrias asked if I would lead the music since Claudia had to work. I said sure, why not? It was interesting because I had to dig out my singing voice to give the tone... eak! The surprise came as I was leading the last hymn. The hymn was Called to Serve and during the fourth verse I looked at all the people I had grown to love while I was a missionary and then m eyes focused on an hna. I knew her.
It was Gloria, an hna we had taught and who I taught English classes to. She would never commit to baptism, but she would listen and do her thing. I left her some books and magazines in English (from the Church of course ;) ). She said she always reads through them and remembers our time together. I started to cry when I realized it was her.
The realization that the work of the Lord continues even after we are gone is a beautiful thing. She was getting baptized that day and I had been directed to be in Curacavì at the precise time. The Lord truely works wonders in our lives. I was able to see her baptism and share in the wonderful moment with her. It was awesome!
I then had the opportunity to go out with the elders and visit a family I knew. Miriam was an inactive, new convert we were working with. Her two beautiful daughters and husband had not yet chosen to follow her. The elders told me that a few weeks ago Francie was baptized and Victor is closer and closer to the faunt. I think he still faults some basic principals, but he will get there. Deborah is not yet old enough, but I have a lot of confidence in her.
I had the amazing opportunity to bear my testimony to them, especially Victor. The spirit touched me so strong and I know there is a reason the missionaries keep knocking the door and sharing with Victor. He is truely special.
Luna has not been to church in about 1 yr. She passed by some difficult times and I only pray that what the Lord directs me to say this evening will help her. Maricela is strong and even takes Antonia sometimes. They are three special, strong women who have a mission to complete in the Church. Wow!
My time is growing short here and I want to close my eyes and hope that the minutes stop. There is so much work to be done here and so many lives to be touched. Chile is truely a blessed land full of promises. Someday it will be a light to the world just as Elder Holland said.
These last few days in Chile have been wonderful. On Saturday we went out to Viña del Mar, Valparaiso, Con Còn and some other places. It was beautiful. The beaches, the fresh air, the beauty of the edge of the world. Something inside of me pulls me to stay here. I have fallen in love with Chile. At the same time, there are many things I am not sure of. Perhaps in the future I will return to stay.
Sunday, I went to church in Curacavì. I thought I was going as a surprise, but the Lord had something better in store. When I got there, there were hardly any people and none that I knew. So, I helped to set up the chairs and studied my scriptures some.
An hno. came up to me and asked if I had served in the ward. I told him yes and he told me he remembered me because of the time we played soccer. That was when I was in the barrio San Pablo and never thought I would be called to Curacavì (just over the mtns and in the same zone). We had a good laugh...
Hno. Farrias asked if I would lead the music since Claudia had to work. I said sure, why not? It was interesting because I had to dig out my singing voice to give the tone... eak! The surprise came as I was leading the last hymn. The hymn was Called to Serve and during the fourth verse I looked at all the people I had grown to love while I was a missionary and then m eyes focused on an hna. I knew her.
It was Gloria, an hna we had taught and who I taught English classes to. She would never commit to baptism, but she would listen and do her thing. I left her some books and magazines in English (from the Church of course ;) ). She said she always reads through them and remembers our time together. I started to cry when I realized it was her.
The realization that the work of the Lord continues even after we are gone is a beautiful thing. She was getting baptized that day and I had been directed to be in Curacavì at the precise time. The Lord truely works wonders in our lives. I was able to see her baptism and share in the wonderful moment with her. It was awesome!
I then had the opportunity to go out with the elders and visit a family I knew. Miriam was an inactive, new convert we were working with. Her two beautiful daughters and husband had not yet chosen to follow her. The elders told me that a few weeks ago Francie was baptized and Victor is closer and closer to the faunt. I think he still faults some basic principals, but he will get there. Deborah is not yet old enough, but I have a lot of confidence in her.
I had the amazing opportunity to bear my testimony to them, especially Victor. The spirit touched me so strong and I know there is a reason the missionaries keep knocking the door and sharing with Victor. He is truely special.
Luna has not been to church in about 1 yr. She passed by some difficult times and I only pray that what the Lord directs me to say this evening will help her. Maricela is strong and even takes Antonia sometimes. They are three special, strong women who have a mission to complete in the Church. Wow!
My time is growing short here and I want to close my eyes and hope that the minutes stop. There is so much work to be done here and so many lives to be touched. Chile is truely a blessed land full of promises. Someday it will be a light to the world just as Elder Holland said.
Wednesday, September 20, 2006
Hola Chiquillos
Things are going well here. Yesterday I went to the Parada Militar de Chile with Josè. It was a ton of fun! The parade is in the Parque O´Higgins and it was full of people. We walked around looking at the different things and went into the aquarium and insect exibits too. Josè is not a fan of bugs I found out...
Every year after the 18th of Sept., the whole Chilean military lines up and marches. It is interesting to see all the different parts of the military and kind-of fome que no hacemos esto. When the main parade starts, the General asks permission of the President of Chile if they can proceed. Of course, she says yes and they march onward. Proud parents are in the orillas shouting at their sons and daughters, taking as many pictures as they can before you can no longer see their faces. It was a sea of people, but not as many as in years past I was told.
Josè was fun to be with. He shared about the military, the traditions and we shared back-and-forth conversation. It is amazing what I learned about him in the hours we were at the park. He shares a lot of the things I would like to find in a person, but he is a little too old for me. Very distinct from what I have been used to, perhaps because of experience with life. The conversation flowed because both sides shared and built upon what was said before. He was open with me because I was open with him, I think. It is something I would like to find in the future... or maybe with that which is right in front of me...
Anyhow, today I am wandering the streets of Santiago doing who-knows-what. I bought some Chilean cook books and who knows what else the day has in store before it is all over. I really enjoy Chile and I have missed it so much over the past year-and-a-half.
Monday, I danced the Cueca (traditional Chilean dance) for the first time... with the bishop! ha! It was so much fun. In part because I didn´t know what I was doing. I think it is the first time I have followed the guy while dancing... I should really get better at that.
Anyhow, I will have to post photos when I get home because I am not so trusting of public computers with my memory cards. So, all two of you who read this will have to wait another week-and-a-half before you can see what I have been up to.
Every year after the 18th of Sept., the whole Chilean military lines up and marches. It is interesting to see all the different parts of the military and kind-of fome que no hacemos esto. When the main parade starts, the General asks permission of the President of Chile if they can proceed. Of course, she says yes and they march onward. Proud parents are in the orillas shouting at their sons and daughters, taking as many pictures as they can before you can no longer see their faces. It was a sea of people, but not as many as in years past I was told.
Josè was fun to be with. He shared about the military, the traditions and we shared back-and-forth conversation. It is amazing what I learned about him in the hours we were at the park. He shares a lot of the things I would like to find in a person, but he is a little too old for me. Very distinct from what I have been used to, perhaps because of experience with life. The conversation flowed because both sides shared and built upon what was said before. He was open with me because I was open with him, I think. It is something I would like to find in the future... or maybe with that which is right in front of me...
Anyhow, today I am wandering the streets of Santiago doing who-knows-what. I bought some Chilean cook books and who knows what else the day has in store before it is all over. I really enjoy Chile and I have missed it so much over the past year-and-a-half.
Monday, I danced the Cueca (traditional Chilean dance) for the first time... with the bishop! ha! It was so much fun. In part because I didn´t know what I was doing. I think it is the first time I have followed the guy while dancing... I should really get better at that.
Anyhow, I will have to post photos when I get home because I am not so trusting of public computers with my memory cards. So, all two of you who read this will have to wait another week-and-a-half before you can see what I have been up to.
Saturday, September 16, 2006
Chile lindo, campo blanco es!
Hello to all two people who read my blog! I am on a hiatus here in Chile and I am being real floja!
I havn´t done much in the last two days but pick cebolla, sleep and be floja...
Today we are going out with the elders to teach a second lesson. I am way excited, although a little nervous because I have not taught the lessons in some time. This sister has yet to agree to be baptised, but I feel something special about her even though I have never met her and hardly know anything about her at all.
Las fiestas patrias are around the corner and everyone is cleaning out the grocery stores. It will be four days of food and parties. This year I actually get to dance the Queka! (wait a minute... I don´t dance...). Ha!
Carla gets to give a talk on Sunday about consecration. We were talking about it and she wasn´t sure where to go with it. So, we looked it up in the dictionary and she has decided to approach it from the side of dedication. We found some good scriptures to go along with it (DyC 88:22? and one of my favs DyC 58:27? i think the verse is) and she will also be talking about the pioneers.
Next week we are going to travel out to Viña to the playa and I will also get to see some more families, hopefully. I will be trying to get a hold of them in the next few days and hope they are in town.
I feels so great to be here. Although, this is a different Chile than I knew. There is a lot more crime now and many people are living in uncertain times. I still don´t fell any fear walking in the streets, but maybe that is because Carla has not let me out of her sight...
Somehow, I need to figure out how to escape and go downtown maybe for a while and just walk around by myself. I really want to get my camera out and take pictures I never had time to take while I was here before. The plotting begins...
Hope all is well in Utah!
I havn´t done much in the last two days but pick cebolla, sleep and be floja...
Today we are going out with the elders to teach a second lesson. I am way excited, although a little nervous because I have not taught the lessons in some time. This sister has yet to agree to be baptised, but I feel something special about her even though I have never met her and hardly know anything about her at all.
Las fiestas patrias are around the corner and everyone is cleaning out the grocery stores. It will be four days of food and parties. This year I actually get to dance the Queka! (wait a minute... I don´t dance...). Ha!
Carla gets to give a talk on Sunday about consecration. We were talking about it and she wasn´t sure where to go with it. So, we looked it up in the dictionary and she has decided to approach it from the side of dedication. We found some good scriptures to go along with it (DyC 88:22? and one of my favs DyC 58:27? i think the verse is) and she will also be talking about the pioneers.
Next week we are going to travel out to Viña to the playa and I will also get to see some more families, hopefully. I will be trying to get a hold of them in the next few days and hope they are in town.
I feels so great to be here. Although, this is a different Chile than I knew. There is a lot more crime now and many people are living in uncertain times. I still don´t fell any fear walking in the streets, but maybe that is because Carla has not let me out of her sight...
Somehow, I need to figure out how to escape and go downtown maybe for a while and just walk around by myself. I really want to get my camera out and take pictures I never had time to take while I was here before. The plotting begins...
Hope all is well in Utah!
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
I Want To Protect You
not much of a man
but still i am a man
and you bring out something inside me
a perfect little diamond
a fragile little fire
you're everything good in the world
to me
i want to protect you
i want you to be safe and sound
at night in this world
such a delicate girl needs someone
to look out for the wolves
i want to protect you
i say some stupid shit
don't mean a word of it
you know i got a lot of love inside me
this world's an ugly place
for such a pretty face
they're comin' at you from all sides
but they gotta get through me
i want to protect you
i want you to be safe and sound
at night in this world
such a delicate girl needs someone
to look out for the wolves
i want to protect you
not many understand
but i'm your biggest fan
the savage fools cannot appreciate
the miracle of you
how could it be true
you're everything good in the world
i want to protect you
i want you to be safe and sound
at night in this world
such a delicate girl needs someone
to look out for the wolves
i want to protect you
i want to protect you
(aw...)
we gotta keep an eye out on her behalf
(yeah)
N.Y. Times Quote of the Day
"For all Americans, this date will be forever entwined with sadness. But the memory of those we lost can burn with a softening brightness."
MAYOR MICHAEL R. BLOOMBERG
The day of Sept. 11 has left more than foot prints where the once grand towers stood. It has left a mark on every American who witnessed the events of that tragic day. May we always remember those who sacrificed for others unselfishly.
MAYOR MICHAEL R. BLOOMBERG
The day of Sept. 11 has left more than foot prints where the once grand towers stood. It has left a mark on every American who witnessed the events of that tragic day. May we always remember those who sacrificed for others unselfishly.
Monday, September 11, 2006
Commitment
"A concious decision to choose to develop one's communication competence, and invest time, energy, thought and feeling to improve relationships with others."
I remember studying about perceptions and it was so interesting to me how we form groups. It is also interesting to me how we percieve things based on other's definitions of something.
Once, my definition reared its ugly head in a dream. It scared me and the thought of it now scares me.
In thinking about the word that scares so many people, it really isn't that scarey when you break it down. It is a choice to develop communication competence, an investment. The end result - improve relationships with others. That is all it is, and once you look at it that way, it is not so bad after all.
I remember studying about perceptions and it was so interesting to me how we form groups. It is also interesting to me how we percieve things based on other's definitions of something.
Once, my definition reared its ugly head in a dream. It scared me and the thought of it now scares me.
In thinking about the word that scares so many people, it really isn't that scarey when you break it down. It is a choice to develop communication competence, an investment. The end result - improve relationships with others. That is all it is, and once you look at it that way, it is not so bad after all.
The Man
This last weekend was rather interesting. I went to Colorado for a job interview and learned a lot about myself and what I want. It isn't often that I get to decide what I want.First of all, the trip started out as somewhat of a disaster. My flight landed in Colorado and I headed out to pick up my rental car. All of this was fun because it was something I had never done before.
About 4 p.m. it started to get rainy, but I didn't pay much attention. I started out my two-hour journey in a little red Dodge Neon. I passed through the toll road (something new) and about 30 miles into my trip, disaster struck.
This wall of rain came down and the once dry roads were suddenly full of water. Everyone made it through, except for me. I felt the tires life up off the pavement and started to swerve. Everything after that is a black hole in my memory.The next thing I know, I am sitting in the grassy median and there is no window on the driver's side. Thankfully, the car still drives. I could see the path of how my car got to be where it was. I was about 10 feet from the other side of the freeway... The first thing I could think of was to thank my Heavenly Father.
At first I was not happy that I hit the pole because I would have been able to continue on my drive without more problems. Then I got to thinking about it. I was traveling between 65 and 70 mph and if that pole had not slowed me down, I might have slid onto the other side of the freeway. The officer also said I was lucky I didn't role.
He gave me a ticket for failure to stay in my own lane (grr!!!) and waited with me until the tow truck arrived. The tow driver was really nice and we chated on the way to the dealership (it helps when your dad is in the business). I then waited at the dealership until a taxi came to take me back to the airport.
The taxi driver was also really nice. He is an East African refugee who came here with his family to escape the wars. At first, he lived with his brother-in-law until they got on their feet. Now he works long days and weeks to put food on the table for his family.
I finally got to Sterling at 10 p.m. and colapsed on the bed. I called my family, told them I made it and went to sleep.
The next morning I went out touristing around. Sterling really is out in the middle of nowhere. Holy cow! (and the cows probably are holy because they are everywhere). Although, it would be a fun place to go and photograph.My initial interview was at 11 a.m. and I talked to the editor. He asked me to tell him about who I was. I got two sentances into it and the next thing I know, he is talking about himself. There were some things too that made me uncomfortable about what he was saying and how he was saying it. I really felt like I was being treated like a juvenile reporter who just came out of j-school. In reality I am not WAY experienced, but two years working for dailies helps.
Lunch was with the "newsroom" (all six people). It was yummy and the people were great.
I ran out to Crook (about one hour away) to interview a man for a story. On the way, I almost hit a moo-cow... And I got lost. I was about one mile away and the Melvin said I took to wrong road... So, I turned around to get the scenic tour. Later I found I only needed to turn left. I was SO close...
(In the photo you will see where I was and the house on the hill to the right of the sign is Melvin's. I turned around to chase down another road...)His name is Melvin Kokesh and he is building memorial gardens his wife designed but never got to see. She battled breast cancer for four years and passed away two years ago. Her chidren wanted to remember her through the things she loved - flowers and figurines. Melvin was a really nice guy and it was a fun story to do. I even got to shoot my own photos.
Dinner was what brought it crashing down. I had a good time and we were chatting. Then the reporters got to talking about the elections. The newspaper endorses candidates... That is not something I am OK with and I don't believe it is a newspaper's job to do that.
Ted Diadiun, from The Cleveland Plain Dealer, wrote this:"Mercifully, I was not doing this job last fall when the presidential endorsement issue hit the fan. As you probably read, there was such profound internal disagreement about whom The Plain Dealer should endorse that the newspaper wound up declining to endorse either candidate. ... I think it was a good thing that The Plain Dealer did not endorse anyone in the 2004 presidential election. That's because I don't think we ought to make endorsements in any presidential election -- or, for that matter, in gubernatorial, mayoral, senatorial and congressional elections either. This is not to say that newspapers should never endorse candidates. There are some races and issues -- judges and state legislators, for example -- about which the voters know so little that they need the newspaper's access and familiarity with the candidates to help separate the qualified from the incompetent. That's where we can help you. But for the bigger races, you don't need our help."
Candidates buy off businesses, lobbiests and pay for advertising to have people endorse them. Besides, it is really the citizens who should take a stand and endorse who they think should be their public leader. The newspaper exists to inform the reader and make them aware of the issues, both good and bad.
That is what really sent me over the top. Everything else I was prepared to deal with. Although, I thought about it today and the editor never really bothered to find out about who I really was. Honestly, I am coming from a newspaper six times the six it the one in Sterling. How does he know if I could really fit in if he doesn't know who I am?After I talked to him about it on Saturday morning, I told him I could not take the job. I felt a calm about it and walked away. And that was the end.
Overall, it was a good experience to have. I know the Lord is guiding me to where I need to go and he will prepare something better for me.
From the outside looking in
There you are
Looking through the window
Dreams are many here
But they seem locked in the shadows
From the outside looking in
You press your face to see
Righteous desire in your heart
Which one today?
Which work of art?
From the outside looking in
Maybe choose that one
Or that one over there
But not all are what they seem
Uncertainty is in the air
From the outside looking in
Fear takes over
You begin to step away
A dream that was so enticing
Now is all a fray
From the outside looking in
A light catches your eye
Something hidden and small
A genius you find
But the price is a bit tall
From the outside looking in
You must overcome your fear
Take a step in the obscure
Move toward the unknown
Even though you are unsure
From the outside looking in
One foot in front of the other
The light becomes brighter
Then you find who you are
And discover
From the outside looking in
You are on the inside
Looking at who you can be all along
Looking through the window
Dreams are many here
But they seem locked in the shadows
From the outside looking in
You press your face to see
Righteous desire in your heart
Which one today?
Which work of art?
From the outside looking in
Maybe choose that one
Or that one over there
But not all are what they seem
Uncertainty is in the air
From the outside looking in
Fear takes over
You begin to step away
A dream that was so enticing
Now is all a fray
From the outside looking in
A light catches your eye
Something hidden and small
A genius you find
But the price is a bit tall
From the outside looking in
You must overcome your fear
Take a step in the obscure
Move toward the unknown
Even though you are unsure
From the outside looking in
One foot in front of the other
The light becomes brighter
Then you find who you are
And discover
From the outside looking in
You are on the inside
Looking at who you can be all along
Mother Goose & Grimm
This has been one of my favorite comic strips for years.
About two weeks ago, this was in the paper and I just had to laugh. Mike Peters frames this perfectly and sometimes you feel like this when you are going through life.
Lately I have been thinking a lot about decisions and how we deal with things in life. It is a scary thing and you never know what is going to happen. To keep going, however, you put one foot in front of the other and keep going.
I refuse to be held hostage by my fears. There are things I do because I never have done it before, or because it scares the daylights out of me. Example: Cliff jumping. I am not a fan of heights, but my desire to play outweights that. In Jackson I jumped off of an eight foot rock into the lake. Nothing huge, but it was exhilerating for me because I started to overcome something that is a black hole. I did the same think in Lake Powell a few years ago, but I think it was a little taller.
In the last years of my life I have become better about dealing with life. Everything used to be a crisis and I would get sad. Then I realized there was more to life and I could either become stronger, or weaker, as a result of the situations.
Life is scary and it is hard, and that is what makes it exciting. It is just up to you on how you deal with it.
About two weeks ago, this was in the paper and I just had to laugh. Mike Peters frames this perfectly and sometimes you feel like this when you are going through life.
Lately I have been thinking a lot about decisions and how we deal with things in life. It is a scary thing and you never know what is going to happen. To keep going, however, you put one foot in front of the other and keep going.
I refuse to be held hostage by my fears. There are things I do because I never have done it before, or because it scares the daylights out of me. Example: Cliff jumping. I am not a fan of heights, but my desire to play outweights that. In Jackson I jumped off of an eight foot rock into the lake. Nothing huge, but it was exhilerating for me because I started to overcome something that is a black hole. I did the same think in Lake Powell a few years ago, but I think it was a little taller.
In the last years of my life I have become better about dealing with life. Everything used to be a crisis and I would get sad. Then I realized there was more to life and I could either become stronger, or weaker, as a result of the situations.
Life is scary and it is hard, and that is what makes it exciting. It is just up to you on how you deal with it.
Sunday, September 10, 2006
Needs
All around me, I see what weakness has made
Too much tomorrow, I think I'll take all today
Am I a poison, am I a thorn in the side
Am I a picture perfect subject tonight
And I don't need nobody
And I don't need the weight of words
To find a way to crash on through
And I don't need nobody
And I just need to learn the depth
Or doubt of faith to fall into
Here I slumber to awaken my daze
I find convenience in this savior I save
Am I a prison, am I a source of dire news
Am I a picture perfect reason for you
And I don't need nobody
And I don't need the weight of words
To find a way to crash on through
I don't need nobody
And I just need to learn the depth
Or doubt of faith to fall into
In this time of substitute
Its my needs I've answered to
All the while
And all the hope that I invest
Turns to signals of distress
All the while I don't need nobody
And I don't need the weight of words
To find a way to crash on through
And I don't need nobody I just need to learn the depth
Or doubt of faith to fall into
Doo doo doo doo doo, youre a lightning
Doo doo doo doo doo, yeah, when the water runs deep
Doo doo doo doo doo, yeah, you're a lightning
Doo doo doo doo doo, now I cry my soul to sleep
Doo doo doo doo doo, you're all I need
Doo doo doo doo doo, you're all I need
Doo doo doo doo doo, you're all I need
Doo doo doo doo doo, you're all I need
Doo doo doo doo doo
Doo doo doo doo doo
Doo doo doo doo doo
Doo doo doo doo doo
Too much tomorrow, I think I'll take all today
Am I a poison, am I a thorn in the side
Am I a picture perfect subject tonight
And I don't need nobody
And I don't need the weight of words
To find a way to crash on through
And I don't need nobody
And I just need to learn the depth
Or doubt of faith to fall into
Here I slumber to awaken my daze
I find convenience in this savior I save
Am I a prison, am I a source of dire news
Am I a picture perfect reason for you
And I don't need nobody
And I don't need the weight of words
To find a way to crash on through
I don't need nobody
And I just need to learn the depth
Or doubt of faith to fall into
In this time of substitute
Its my needs I've answered to
All the while
And all the hope that I invest
Turns to signals of distress
All the while I don't need nobody
And I don't need the weight of words
To find a way to crash on through
And I don't need nobody I just need to learn the depth
Or doubt of faith to fall into
Doo doo doo doo doo, youre a lightning
Doo doo doo doo doo, yeah, when the water runs deep
Doo doo doo doo doo, yeah, you're a lightning
Doo doo doo doo doo, now I cry my soul to sleep
Doo doo doo doo doo, you're all I need
Doo doo doo doo doo, you're all I need
Doo doo doo doo doo, you're all I need
Doo doo doo doo doo, you're all I need
Doo doo doo doo doo
Doo doo doo doo doo
Doo doo doo doo doo
Doo doo doo doo doo
Someone
The story of my life that never comes true...
- Lyrics from D.H.T.
You can't eat, you can't sleep, you can weep when you love someone
Feels extreme when you dream, and you scream when you love someone
If you feel that strong
Can you see that, one
[Chorus]
Let me be your...
Someone to hold you tight
Someone to make you feel
All right.
Everyday and night
I wish I was your someone
Someone to hold you when you're weak
Someone to make you feel complete
Every day and night
I wish I was your someone
Someone
Don't you know, I will go, if you show that I can break through
Feels extreme when you dream, and you scream when you love someone
If you feel that strong
Can you see that you're the one
[Chorus]
Let me be your...
Someone to hold you tight
Someone to make you feel
All right.
And I hold you tight
You're still on my mind, I can't stand to live without you
And I can't forget you
Wherever you are, you're still on my mind
- Lyrics from D.H.T.
You can't eat, you can't sleep, you can weep when you love someone
Feels extreme when you dream, and you scream when you love someone
If you feel that strong
Can you see that, one
[Chorus]
Let me be your...
Someone to hold you tight
Someone to make you feel
All right.
Everyday and night
I wish I was your someone
Someone to hold you when you're weak
Someone to make you feel complete
Every day and night
I wish I was your someone
Someone
Don't you know, I will go, if you show that I can break through
Feels extreme when you dream, and you scream when you love someone
If you feel that strong
Can you see that you're the one
[Chorus]
Let me be your...
Someone to hold you tight
Someone to make you feel
All right.
And I hold you tight
You're still on my mind, I can't stand to live without you
And I can't forget you
Wherever you are, you're still on my mind
Random thoughts on a computer
I have been reading a real good book and there are some things in it that have given me some good insight. It is called "The Miracle of Forgiveness" by Spencer W. Kimball. It is a good look into sins, the repentance process and how to overcome the battles in your life.Many people I have talked to say it is like taking a hammer to the head. As I am reading, I keep waiting. I am about half way right now and a lot of things President Kimball wrote make sense. Maybe I am just one of those people. In no way do I consider myself perfect and I see that there are many things I need to work on.
So far, the chapter I have been most intrigued with is "As a Man Thinketh." So many of our acts begin with a little thought and so much of what we do, or do not, become comes from our thoughts. "For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he." (Prov. 23:7)
You are what you think you are.
I was watching "The Ron Clark Story" with a friend last week and this was exactly the sum of the story. A class of fifth-graders in Harlem, NY is labeled as underachievers with diciplinary problems. Mr. Clark comes in and tells the principle that he wants that class. He trys to help the children see what he sees - those who have dreams to achieve more than those who went before them.
He teaches the children to dream, to get off the streets and into the books. Mr. Clark almost gave up once, but had some sounds advice to go back. He does and, eventually, the children begin to see the 'vision' and start to work hard. At the end of the year, his class scores higher than the honors class and he even has one student who scored perfect on Math and English.
Mr. Clark taught these children to dig deeper inside and pull out some dreams. He saw their potential and pushed them to achieve it.
So it is with you. There is a hidden genius within you, something you can do better than anyone else in the world. You must dig deep into your soul and find out what it is and develop it.
When things get hard, take a step back and assess what you can gain from the experience. As long as you continue on this path of life and learning, you will constantly be yanked from your comfort zone. As you develop and learn new things, your circle become bigger.
President David O. McKay said:
"Your tools are your ideals. The thought in your mind at this moment is contributing, however infinitesimally, almost imperceptibly to the shaping of your soul, even to the lineaments of your countenance... even passing and idle thoughts leave their impression. Trees that can withstand the hurricane, sometimes yield to destroying pests that can scarcely be seen except with the aid of a microscope. Likewise, the greatest foes of the individual are not always the glaring evils of humanity but subtle influences of thought and of continual association with companions."
I really like this quote because it sums it all up. Everything you do either contributes to or takes away from who you are.
Your thoughts also leave their mark on your physical appearance. The person with downing thoughts, tends to develop hard lines on his countenance. Whereas, the person seeking the positive has serenity about them.
President McKay liked to quote the following:
"Sow a thought, reap an act;
Sow and act, reap a habit;
Sow a habit, reap a character;
Sow a character, reap an eternal destiny."
Elder Robert D. Hales in the April 2006 Conference gave a wonderful address about choices and agency. He gave some suggestions to help you:
- "Choose to act in faith and obedience"
Faith and obedience go hand-in-hand. You cannot have one without the other. As you are obedient to the commandments of the Lord, your faith grows. Many times you will not know why you are being asked to do something, but you do it anyway. Faith is hard because you do not know what the end result will be. However, you step one foot into the darkness and depend on the light of Christ to help you see what is before you.
- "Choose to accept you are a literal child of God; that he loves you and that he has the power to help you"
This is my favorite. Elder Hales hits on a very important, yet often overlooked, truth. When you truely understand you are a child of God, you begin to understand your divine lineage. Because God has the power to do anything, so do you. As you begin to look up, your aspirations will also begin to be higher. God hopes the best for you and waits until you too see what he sees.
- "Choose to put yourself in a position to have experiences with the spirit of God through prayer and scripture study... When you begin to feel the influence of the spirit you're beginning to be cleansed and strengthend and the light begins to come in"
In realizing our dreams, they become so much more vibrant when painted with the Spirit of God. In the last weeks, I have been able to feel the light come into my life. There are many struggles in my life, however, this is my refuge from the world and what helps me to be what I think I am in my heart.
- "Choose to believe in the Atonement of Jesus Christ"
This has probably had the biggest influence in my life over the past few weeks. We are perfect spirits having a human experience on this earth. Jesus Christ, however, allows us to dream big and capture the big picture. It is His Atonement that gives wings to our spirits and allows us to rise higher toward a perfected and exalted state.
You are the maker of you and your destiny. You have the ability to become what you want to be and God has the power to help you realize it. Little by little you will realize who God already knows you are. You are divine, unique and special.
Thursday, September 07, 2006
Jam session
Work was totally fruitless yesterday. I had a lot of things to do, but did not have the focus to complete those that were less pressing. There were a lot of things on my mind and work was the last thing I was concerned with.
In trying to negotiate my days off this weekend I finally broke down and told Wendy why I needed to leave town. That was the only way I was going to get out of my shift without blowing up my tiny bridge with an IED. She was actually pretty cool about it and said she hopes I don't get the job... She was joking, I think...
After work Trevor invited me to go to his jam session. It was pretty entertaining watching three guys get together and not be sure of what they were doing. Garrett was off in his world picking through the three power chords he knew; Justin was pounding on his make-shift drum set (consisting of buckets, metal mixing bowls and other like containers); and Trevor was strumming out the beginning notes of every song he knew, but never making it through the entire song.
They are good in their separate worlds, but collectivly they have some work to do. It was interesting to go through the beat patterns. Justin would play along with Trevor, but the minute Justin got about 1/2 count ahead Trevor folded. Then Justin would try to play with Garrett, but he got lost as Garrett switched tempos about every other bar. Good times.
As I sat watching, I thought of melody and pounding out things on the piano. As I hummed along, I could almost guess where the next chord was going before I had even heard it. Sometimes I wish I wouldn't have taken my little music talent for granted and developed it more. It is so much fun.
The jam session took a down turn as a cardboard pizza was pulled from the oven and thoughts turned toward grumbling bellies. Originally, we were going to Kirt's but they were closed.
We then decended upon Smith's in search of lujo's of ice cream... Trouble. Two random boys, two random girls that met us there and myself. The fun began when the boys turned their attention to the freezer doors. It all began with the Titanic inuendo... Then it was to see what you would get when you rolled your face across the door.
We were trying to take pictures as we were rolling in the aisles. I think we grabbed a bit too much attention because we were then chastized about it being against the rules to take pics in the store.
Eventually, we bought a gallon of Fudge Marble ice cream. The entire bucket was divided amongst the five of us and we were going to have a "competition" of who could finish first. It was a lot of ice cream!
The best part was giving others more without them realizing it. Justin's amount nearly doubled, but he was so happy-go-lucky he just continued eating. It was so hard to hold the laughs in.
We all chatted and chilled for a bit after, realing in the thought of how much we had just eaten. Holy overload! I don't think it settled well with the meds I am taking right now and it is so against what I should be doing... oops. But it tasted so good in the moment.
In trying to negotiate my days off this weekend I finally broke down and told Wendy why I needed to leave town. That was the only way I was going to get out of my shift without blowing up my tiny bridge with an IED. She was actually pretty cool about it and said she hopes I don't get the job... She was joking, I think...
After work Trevor invited me to go to his jam session. It was pretty entertaining watching three guys get together and not be sure of what they were doing. Garrett was off in his world picking through the three power chords he knew; Justin was pounding on his make-shift drum set (consisting of buckets, metal mixing bowls and other like containers); and Trevor was strumming out the beginning notes of every song he knew, but never making it through the entire song.They are good in their separate worlds, but collectivly they have some work to do. It was interesting to go through the beat patterns. Justin would play along with Trevor, but the minute Justin got about 1/2 count ahead Trevor folded. Then Justin would try to play with Garrett, but he got lost as Garrett switched tempos about every other bar. Good times.
As I sat watching, I thought of melody and pounding out things on the piano. As I hummed along, I could almost guess where the next chord was going before I had even heard it. Sometimes I wish I wouldn't have taken my little music talent for granted and developed it more. It is so much fun.The jam session took a down turn as a cardboard pizza was pulled from the oven and thoughts turned toward grumbling bellies. Originally, we were going to Kirt's but they were closed.
We then decended upon Smith's in search of lujo's of ice cream... Trouble. Two random boys, two random girls that met us there and myself. The fun began when the boys turned their attention to the freezer doors. It all began with the Titanic inuendo... Then it was to see what you would get when you rolled your face across the door.
We were trying to take pictures as we were rolling in the aisles. I think we grabbed a bit too much attention because we were then chastized about it being against the rules to take pics in the store.Eventually, we bought a gallon of Fudge Marble ice cream. The entire bucket was divided amongst the five of us and we were going to have a "competition" of who could finish first. It was a lot of ice cream!
The best part was giving others more without them realizing it. Justin's amount nearly doubled, but he was so happy-go-lucky he just continued eating. It was so hard to hold the laughs in.
We all chatted and chilled for a bit after, realing in the thought of how much we had just eaten. Holy overload! I don't think it settled well with the meds I am taking right now and it is so against what I should be doing... oops. But it tasted so good in the moment.
Wednesday, September 06, 2006
My life is good
I was driving to work today and thinking about things that have been happening in my life lately. In everything I thought about, all I could think was I love my life, my life is good.
Sure, there are things that have been hard. The beauty of it though, is that I have grown, and am still growing, as a result of the experiences. I would not trade one thing that has happened in the last week for all the lujo in the world.
I called my dad last night and tried to tell him I was interviewing for a job in Colorado. It was hard, because he was trying to tell me about how he had been home alone all weekend. The funny thing is, is that he likes it when no one is around because then he can do what he wants to do. I am not sure it quite sunk in how far away I would be going if I got it. He normally wigs out when I tell him I am thinking about going far away. Maybe it is because I would be in Colorado, which is not as far a Tennessee.
Going in to tomorrow, I feel at peace. Maybe it will sink in later on, like when I am there. It is a new step for me and maybe a new chapter of my life. The great thing is that like all chapters in a good book, you can go back to previous chapters in your life where there are people who have made a difference in your life. While the people may not always be there like they were before, you have the memories to give you strength during hard times.
I think about this a lot because I have never really had a real steady group of friends. I would not trade one of them or the fun times we had. They all taught me something valuable and helped me a certain points of my life. Sometimes the Lord gives you a variety of people to help you through different points of your life. It is amazing how truely midful Heavenly Father is of his children.
Recently, the Lord has brought many special people in to my life. Elle has been a huge strength to me in my life. Christy has helped me realize some things I had dormant in my life. Dave helped me to realize some of the post-missionary feelings I had lost. Blair has shown to me what loyalty is and patience when you truely care for someone.
The most recent person in my life is Trevor. I have only known him a short while, but I can sense how special he is. I remember the first day I met him. He had this twinkle in his eye and he stood apart from others. In reality, I never thought I would see him again. Then he found me.
Sure, there are things that have been hard. The beauty of it though, is that I have grown, and am still growing, as a result of the experiences. I would not trade one thing that has happened in the last week for all the lujo in the world.
I called my dad last night and tried to tell him I was interviewing for a job in Colorado. It was hard, because he was trying to tell me about how he had been home alone all weekend. The funny thing is, is that he likes it when no one is around because then he can do what he wants to do. I am not sure it quite sunk in how far away I would be going if I got it. He normally wigs out when I tell him I am thinking about going far away. Maybe it is because I would be in Colorado, which is not as far a Tennessee.
Going in to tomorrow, I feel at peace. Maybe it will sink in later on, like when I am there. It is a new step for me and maybe a new chapter of my life. The great thing is that like all chapters in a good book, you can go back to previous chapters in your life where there are people who have made a difference in your life. While the people may not always be there like they were before, you have the memories to give you strength during hard times.
I think about this a lot because I have never really had a real steady group of friends. I would not trade one of them or the fun times we had. They all taught me something valuable and helped me a certain points of my life. Sometimes the Lord gives you a variety of people to help you through different points of your life. It is amazing how truely midful Heavenly Father is of his children.
Recently, the Lord has brought many special people in to my life. Elle has been a huge strength to me in my life. Christy has helped me realize some things I had dormant in my life. Dave helped me to realize some of the post-missionary feelings I had lost. Blair has shown to me what loyalty is and patience when you truely care for someone.
The most recent person in my life is Trevor. I have only known him a short while, but I can sense how special he is. I remember the first day I met him. He had this twinkle in his eye and he stood apart from others. In reality, I never thought I would see him again. Then he found me.
Paintball!
We had a fun time paintballing. Brian, Ryan and some others have a field out near Swan Lakes. It was fun to get together and play. I had never played before and all I had ever heard was that it hurst when you get hit. Thankfully, they turn the guns down to about 1/3 of the speed they play at. I got shot once in the finger and another time in the haunches (by a pro...). ouch! But overall, I shot more people than shot me. My goal of shooting Blair never came to fruition because the one time I played opposite him, he got himself shot before I got to him. I think he played on my team because he knew I would shoot him, a lot...
I was playing sniper over at the snake and shot Dave a few times, including once in the back. oops! In that same round I snipered out another three people. It was barrels of fun and I can see why people do it. You can shoot at people, and at the end of the day you walk away with your life and a few good bruises.
I was playing sniper over at the snake and shot Dave a few times, including once in the back. oops! In that same round I snipered out another three people. It was barrels of fun and I can see why people do it. You can shoot at people, and at the end of the day you walk away with your life and a few good bruises.
Tuesday, September 05, 2006
N.Y. Times Quote of the Day
"The scoreboard said I lost today, but what the scoreboard doesn't say is what it is I have found. Over the last 21 years, I have found loyalty. You have pulled for me on the court and also in life. I found inspiration. You have willed me to succeed, sometimes even in my lowest moments, and I've found generosity. You have given me your shoulders to stand on to reach for my dreams, dreams I could never have reached without you."
ANDRE AGASSI, to the fans after the last match of his professional tennis career.
ANDRE AGASSI, to the fans after the last match of his professional tennis career.
Sunday, September 03, 2006
A date...
Saturday was a long day... I had to work in the morning. It was good because it gave me a chance to put my State Fair story schedule in order and get background checks done (note: mainstream politicians are BORING! Only the third party politicians had interesting backgrounds).I went straight from work to T's house. His family was putting together campaign stuff for the upcoming elections. They are braver than I would be, wow! Anyhow, I got to meet some of the family which was fun.
To start the night off, I had no clue what we were going to be doing. He asked earlier if I wanted to know or if I wanted it to be a surprise... I told him surprise, those are the funnest.
Before we left, we went shopping for food. What a disaster of decisions we were! It was funny as we wandered through the meat, chips and goodies. "What do you want?" "This is your date, you decide..." "Help me out here..." "You decide." Oh, such fun! Eventually we settled on these stake things, chips, orange juice (YUM!) and Twizzlers.
After picking up a few more things at his house and his sister's house, we headed north. VROOM! As we were driving he asked if I knew where Willard Peak was. Honestly, I had NO clue, but now I do... Look for Ben Lomond Peak, travel about three peaks to the west and we were going to the top! Holy cow!
I honestly wondered how we were going to get to the top. We got off at the first Matua exit and headed past the initial campgrounds, through town (if you blink, you will miss it) and off to another trail. Then it got bumppy...
Before heading further we stopped to let air out of the tires, and I later found out why. The trail that heads to the top is a Jeep/four-wheeler trail. If you try to do it in anything else, you are screwed. At times I felt like Ace Ventura when he is going down the road and his head and body are gyrating all over the place. The only dissimilarity... We were actually on a road that was throwing you everywhere :D
The roads reminded me of when my dad and I went to put a car out of a wash above Bloomington Hills in southern Utah. There were times I wasn't sure we were going to make it, but my dad just knocked it into low and over the rocks we went.
As we got to the top you could see the surrounding valleys. The sun had set and the city lights were beginning to illuminate. To the north you could see Logan; to the southeast was Eden/Huntsville; and to the south west was Ogden/Salt Lake. It was amazing! I could stand on top of the peak, turn around and see everything down below. I took in a deep breath of cold fresh air and enjoyed the moment I was up there with T.
Then came the time to do a bit of work. We put the grill together (oh, what an experience) and put our food on. It was such a nice night, with the exception of the ocassional wind gust (but that is what you get on top of a peak). It was nice to be with T and just enjoy his company.
As we were on our way home, we got a flat tire... It was the strangest thing because we're not even sure how it happened - but there was a nice gash in the sidewall. Maybe it happened for a reason, I don't know, so we could talk. For two hours we were there waiting for his brother-in-law to bring a spare tire.
Honestly, I was scared out of my mind. Talking with boys is not really my forte, unless it is about something other that relationship stuff. I thought of a million different ways I could ask and in the end, the only real way was to be straight forward.
On top of all that, I struggle with words and expressing my self verbally. Even though I may be talking about something, what I really want to say never comes out. It is even apparent at work. When an editor asks me about a story, I know it is a good story, but I have a hard time expressing that to them.
I can write a novel about what I feel, think and want. Words of script are a strength for me. If I could get by only having to write, I think things would be easier. Maybe what makes this seem easier is that it allows me to peak over the wall and not actually have to be on the other side exposed. I don't have to answer to anything right away and I don't have to see the person's reaction (especially if it is adverse).
When I was a little girl, my sister and I would fight (breaking news!). My way of apologizing was writing on stickie-notes and putting them on our door where she would see them. Maybe at that point, apologizing was more a matter of pride. On the same side, I never 'communicated' much members of my family. We were always running so many different ways and I am not sure we 'really' know one another.
Anyhow, it was a good chuckle when T's brother-in-law showed up. He dug two brown bags and waters out of the passenger seat. One bag said T and the other "T's poor date." It was a good laugh! They got the tire changed in no time and we were soon bouncing down the road again.
I would have to say that was one of the funnest dates I have been on. Things were totally chill and we just did whatever. Nothing was a crisis and we enjoyed each other's company. It was great to be with him, talk to him and learn.
Saturday, September 02, 2006
A night of relaxation
Last night I got to spend some time with Christy. I also got to meet her new interest so I didn't get to spend too much time with her.
I would have to say I am surprised because I think this one might stay around for a while. She is quite taken with this one. I am happy she has found someone she enjoys spending time with and compliments many of her attributes. I should have taken a pic of him, but I forgot... And the pics later on are not the greatest because I took them with my smaller camera that has some issues...
We stopped by Javier's to get some grub. It was fun because I got to talk to people in Spanish. I always enjoy that.
We then went to Weber State and I was prepared to have some fun, but I guess that was earlier in the day. But even better I got a nice surprise. We went in to the Browning Center and John Schmidt was playing in concert! I love his music, I love playing it and I love the little notes he puts in as you are playing.
As you play his music, he will write quirky stuff when notes may not sounds right, but they really are. He sets the tone by writting a small excerpt into why the song is the way it is and why you should play it a certain way. But after seening him in concert, I can put everything together. It would be such a riot to live in his house.
There is a song I am off in hunt of today at lunch time that he played. I have no clue what the name of it is, but I want to find it. The song it about the sweetness of being with someone you truely care about. In his case, it was sitting down at night reading a story to his five-year-old son before bedtime; and having him fall asleep in your arms and trying to sneak out without waking him up.
John then asked for someone in the audience who knew how to play the Jazz Scale in the key of C. Christy looked at me and I told her no way. Besides we were up in the balcony. Me play in front of 1,000-plus people? Get real. I had a hard enough time when I had to speak in front of a packed auditorium at graduation.
Anyhow, Jaron finally got up there. The kid is amazing! He served on the Art & Humanities Council with me last year. He is going to be a music teacher and therefore gets to learn every instrument. But I didn't know he was so amazing on the piano! He started by playing the simple scale and then he and John began to feed off of each other. Holy amazing! It was like they had been playing together for years. Jaron got in some head bangs and elbow jams on the high octives. It was amazing to see the two take something so simple and make it so beautiful and fun.
It was also funny to see how humble John was after playing with Jeron. He was amazed and had a few "moments" after that. So at this point was a good time to play the dumb song. He created this song off of the Bumble Bee Tuna commercial of the early 80s. The first time he played it for his buddies, they said he had to play it at the assembly at Highland High. John did and the crowd was crazy for it. But along with the song comes this outrageous Muppet-looking wig (he said he wears it to pad his head against head bangs on the piano...). It is such a fun song with so much life!
I would love to see him in concert again. It was so much fun!
Afterward, we went and watched Nacho Libre at the Duck Pond. It was fun to hang out on the grass and relax. I also saw Mario. He is from Argentina and I see him every-now-and-again in random places. He is always fun to talk to because I give him crap about his acent and he gives me crap about my 'various' accents. So it is always fun.
Christy and I didn't find too much trouble, but I am sure there is some in the near future.
(my phone takes better pics...)
I would have to say I am surprised because I think this one might stay around for a while. She is quite taken with this one. I am happy she has found someone she enjoys spending time with and compliments many of her attributes. I should have taken a pic of him, but I forgot... And the pics later on are not the greatest because I took them with my smaller camera that has some issues...
We stopped by Javier's to get some grub. It was fun because I got to talk to people in Spanish. I always enjoy that.
We then went to Weber State and I was prepared to have some fun, but I guess that was earlier in the day. But even better I got a nice surprise. We went in to the Browning Center and John Schmidt was playing in concert! I love his music, I love playing it and I love the little notes he puts in as you are playing.
As you play his music, he will write quirky stuff when notes may not sounds right, but they really are. He sets the tone by writting a small excerpt into why the song is the way it is and why you should play it a certain way. But after seening him in concert, I can put everything together. It would be such a riot to live in his house.There is a song I am off in hunt of today at lunch time that he played. I have no clue what the name of it is, but I want to find it. The song it about the sweetness of being with someone you truely care about. In his case, it was sitting down at night reading a story to his five-year-old son before bedtime; and having him fall asleep in your arms and trying to sneak out without waking him up.
John then asked for someone in the audience who knew how to play the Jazz Scale in the key of C. Christy looked at me and I told her no way. Besides we were up in the balcony. Me play in front of 1,000-plus people? Get real. I had a hard enough time when I had to speak in front of a packed auditorium at graduation.
Anyhow, Jaron finally got up there. The kid is amazing! He served on the Art & Humanities Council with me last year. He is going to be a music teacher and therefore gets to learn every instrument. But I didn't know he was so amazing on the piano! He started by playing the simple scale and then he and John began to feed off of each other. Holy amazing! It was like they had been playing together for years. Jaron got in some head bangs and elbow jams on the high octives. It was amazing to see the two take something so simple and make it so beautiful and fun.
It was also funny to see how humble John was after playing with Jeron. He was amazed and had a few "moments" after that. So at this point was a good time to play the dumb song. He created this song off of the Bumble Bee Tuna commercial of the early 80s. The first time he played it for his buddies, they said he had to play it at the assembly at Highland High. John did and the crowd was crazy for it. But along with the song comes this outrageous Muppet-looking wig (he said he wears it to pad his head against head bangs on the piano...). It is such a fun song with so much life!I would love to see him in concert again. It was so much fun!
Afterward, we went and watched Nacho Libre at the Duck Pond. It was fun to hang out on the grass and relax. I also saw Mario. He is from Argentina and I see him every-now-and-again in random places. He is always fun to talk to because I give him crap about his acent and he gives me crap about my 'various' accents. So it is always fun.
Christy and I didn't find too much trouble, but I am sure there is some in the near future.
(my phone takes better pics...)
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