One more thought

This is also from Anthony Trollope's "The Small House at Allington":

"And, above all things, never think that you're not good enough yourself. A man should never think that. My belief is that in life people will take you very much at your own reckoning."

What you think of yourself, reflects in your daily actions. Be happy and truely greatful to the Lord, who allows you each day of life.

I wish you knew how truely beautiful you are.

Analyze

I have come to the conclusion I think about things too much. Situations get analyzed until beat to a bloody pulp of thought. I do it because I want to know 'why?'

This simple three letter word gets me into trouble and gives me lots of headaches, especially about my personal life. In the professional world, it is the reason I have a job. They 'why' behind people's actions is intriguing.

I think it is a learned behaviour from my father who is a plethera of knowledge. He knows something about everything and a lot about many things. From him I learned there is a solution to everything, and the fortitude to figure it out. My father isn't perfect, but he lives his life the way he wants to live it. He is amazing! I look up to him and the example of life he is.

My father is always telling me to relax and slow down (especially when I drive). I think that is why I love spending time with him so much. He takes life for what it is, learns from it and enjoys every moment he has left.

In my life, however, when I start to ask why someone said something the way they did, or why they did this and are now doing that, I get into trouble (inparticular involving boys). When something happens and I want to talk about it, and can't for a long time, it is hard. It only leaves more time to analyze things and wonder.

Then I read a well written verse by Anthony Trollope in his novel, The Small House at Allington: "I doubt whether any girl would be satisfied with her lover's mind if she knew the whole of it."

In all of our reasoning and thinking, we may still have more questions. Would we really be satisfied if we knew what we wanted to know right now? Does it matter that we can't know right now and that we may have to wait a minute to get our answers? Maybe not and that is OK. I have to keep cultivating my patience and move on. If things work out in favour that is great, and if they don't it is another learning experience.

Today, however, to satisfy my impatience, I talked to Bugnite. I will miss her dearly if I leave.

A little bit of inspiration

I find music inspiring. I have listened to The Fray's album a bajillion times had a song that captured my attention, so I thought I would share...

All At Once
© 2005 Slade/King/Johnson

There are certain people you just keep coming back to
She is right in front of you
You begin to wonder could you find a better one
Compared to her now she's in question

And all at once the crowd begins to sing
Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same

Maybe you want her maybe you need her
Maybe you started to compare to someone not there

Looking for the right one you line up the world to find
Where no questions cross your mind
But she won't keep on waiting for you without a doubt
Much longer for you to sort it out

And all at once the crowd begins to sing
Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same

Maybe you want her maybe you need her
Maybe you started to compare to someone not there
Maybe you want it maybe you need it,
Maybe it's all you're running from,
Perfection will not come

And all at once the crowd begins to sing
Sometimes
We'd never know what's wrong without the pain
Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same

Maybe you want her maybe you need her
Maybe you've started to compare to someone not there
Maybe you want it maybe you need it
Maybe it's all you're running from
Perfection will not come

Maybe you want her maybe you need her
Maybe you had her maybe you lost her to another
To another

More nice surprises

Today I was walking down the street and this random guy looks at me and says, "Hello beautiful."

I probably will never see him again, or even have the chance to express to him how much that ment to me in that moment. Today I have been thinking a lot about my life and what I am doing with it. Sometimes I wonder about it all and if the heart ache is worth it. But to have some random stranger look at you and say something so simple, makes you realize it is.

In life I wonder if we compliment each other enough? Or are we all too worried about getting ahead and making a name for 'me.'

With the events I have covered in the last week, I have thought about what people would say about me when I leave this earth. In reality, I don't want a funeral and I don't want the fancy junk that goes with it. But I do want people to remember me for good things I did in this life. You could say I want to leave a possitive legacy for others to follow.

As I evaluate my life and what I am doing with it right now, there are things I want to change and have changed ? like books I wouldn't want my children to read and music I wouldn't want them to hear. There are also certain behaviours I need to change. I am so greatful for the power of the gospel in my life.

Holy cow!!!

Wow! It is amazing how things happen in life. Last week I sent out about 15 resumes and didn't really expect to hear anything back for a while.

On Friday I received a call from the Journal-Advocate in Sterling, CO... where?! I remember googling the place and thinking there was no way. The nearest mountain is two hours away and this is on the front of plain land... Why in the world did I put in for there?

Then I got to thinking that maybe that is where I am supposed to go. A fortunate mistake perhaps... But the more I think about it and the more I learn about Sterling, the more excited I get.

Last night I sent a thank you letter to the editor and this morning he called me and wants to do an in-person interview! wow! He called and they are flying me out, getting me a car, putting me up and letting me hang out for a few days. This is cool! They must be really serious about getting me there. This is amazing! I am excited to go and learn about a new place.

In church on Sunday, I got the impression that maybe I am not to stay at the Deseret News. This is a great place, but maybe there is more out there for me. The other interesting note is that the paper is owned by Media News Group. They are the largest newspaper conglomerate and considered by some the whoremonger of media. But I say what the heck, bring on the news!

Beautiful Family

I have the most beautiful family ever! There are only three of us, but that doesn't matter. My little sister is off to her last year of university. She is super smart and such a great athlete.

Bear Lake... a little late, I know...

Nice surprises

This last week has been full of nice surprises. The Lord truely is mindful of each of us if we will just pay attention to what is happeing around us.

Our Adventure

In the following photos, you will be introduced to some of our adventure to Jackson Hole, Wyo. It was a great trip and we had tons of fun.

The first day we got up there before everyone else, so we went to town. Somehow we find ways to make trouble out of thin air.

At the fur coat shop, Christy and Melissa were trying on coats that are worth about one year's tuition and fees, and maybe even a book or two. Jer joined them in trying on hats. We had a good time until the sales lady came and took the coats from us... oops...

I walked around to some off the Main shops and galleries. There are really a lot of interesting things there, most of them out of my price range. But i enjoy looking at the photography and analyzing the work of others. Sometimes I see things I would like to integrate into my own work.

Because we were there so early, we got to be the guinea pigs to go and wait in line at the BarJ to get our tickets. The show was great and the food was yummy too. I sat in awe of the talents the performers had. It is amazing the different things God blesses us with.

We went back to camp in Alpine and played games. The next day we dicided not to run the river. It was extremely full and the good waves were washed out. Instead we headed up to the Tetons. We hiked up to Hidden Falls and Reddo and I hiked up to Inspiration Point as well.

The lookout over Jenny Lake was amazing. These photos I have of the lake really do not do it justice. I had my little hand-held, so I sacrificed quality for enjoyment. This time around I was a little lazy in the photo aspect.

Then we went over to String Lake to swim. All of the lakes are glacial lakes and hooked together. String is the middle between Jackson Hole Lake and Jenny Lake. There is a large rock out in the middle of it and an eight foot hole on one side. I decided I wanted to jump off of it. Why, I don't know. Heights and I do not get along very well.

But I shimmied my way up the rock (which was not easy) and searched for a place to jump off. I stood on the edge contemplating the feat for a while. In reality, because I had to shimmy up, there was only one way down - that was to jump. So I finally did it. I jumped and overcame my fear in that moment. It was amazing! Such a rush!

We headed back to Alpine after a day of playing, got some grub and prepared for a testimony meeting. I felt the spirit very strongly as I sat in amazement of all the wonderful people around me. The Lord really has blessed my life by bring certain people into my life.

I stayed up until 1 or 2 a.m. playing games and talking to people. The only down side was I had to drive home the next day. I was not feeling well and decided it was time for me to call it quits for the weekend. Christy, Jer and Reddo all decided to stay and play. So, it was Melissa and I on the way home.

Jackson is among my favorite places right now. I would like to live there if I could find somewhere to live for a half-way decent price (keep dreaming...). The atmosphere is fun and everything is so close. Ah, the dream...

Day 1 in Jackson

Wyoming traffic and hot girls

Hike to Hidden Falls and Inspiration Point

N.Y. Times Quote of the Day

"These are challenging times, and they?re difficult times, and they?re straining the psyche of our country."
PRESIDENT BUSH.

A day of learning

Yesterday was amazing! I just sat in my seat and soaked up everything that was thrown at me.

Marzipan talked about love and how important it is to share it.

"It's so important to treat others with kindness because you never know what kinds of trials they may have to endure," she said.

She also shared: Matthew 25:40 and Luke 6:27-28. "You cannot give what you don't have," Marzipan said.

Waponi-Wu gave an excellent talk about the carnal vs. the spiritual. So often we get lost in the desires of the flesh and we lose sight of what is really important (i.e. the "big" picture). He shared a lot of scriptures and I am going to list them off for you to look up:

- John 11:25-26
- Galatians 5:21
- Galatians 5:22-23
- Luke 12:34 (an interesting note about this scripture is something my mission president always hit on. You must decide who your god is going to be. Where will you stand when it is all over?)
- Matthew 4 (The scriptures are the best way to handle any objection a person may have about your beliefs. This is why it is so important to learn what is inside the scriptures.)
- Jacob 2 (The Book of Mormon)
- Doctrine and Covenants 29:7
- Moroni 10 (The Book of Mormon)

Finally, Waponi-Wu shared some good wisdom from a friend: "You can't buy heaven, but you can buy hell."

The last speaker was a high councilman (I am terrible with names, so don't ask what it was). He spoke on a variety of things. One of the things he said that struck me was:

"The spirit is not something you attend church to find. It is already present and we must put ourselves in a position to feel of the spirit."

Wow! You must attend your meetings ready to be taught. The spirit is there and ready to teach you, but are you ready to be taught? The reason it is so important is because the greatest responsibility members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints have is to share the gospel. Share what you have learned with others.

I find it interesting, because often people tell me they cannot teach or do something because they don't have a lot of knowledge about something. To me, it is not the knowledge that matters, but that you are willing to share what you know. When you share, you learn. When you keep it for yourself, it gets lost and what little you had is gone.

In Sunday School we talked about Job. I challenge you to read about him and find out what his traits and trials were. Then ask yourself what you can learn from them.

Probably the event I soaked up the most is the fireside we had. Larry Christensen, a professor at SLCC, came to speak to us. He is a psychology professor and when he started to talk about how our brains record life, I found it quite facinating.

Christensen shared how the nuerons work in our brain. When a baby is born, it has millions upon millions. Doctors figure this is why their head is so large at birth. Interestingly, as we get older, those nuerons begin to pair off and you develop a talent or genius in you. You become superior at something inparticular.

He then talked about the Drive Reduction Theory, which is a six step process.
1. Thought occurs
2. Dwell on the thought
3. Move toward it
4. Involved in the behaviour
5. Satiation (enough is enough)
6. Addiction: Any process or substance you use to ease your pain. Things used so you don't have to face up to the pain and/or reality. (he added this one because if you continue in the cycle, addiction occurs until it is broken)

When you get caught in this cycle and you want to get out, where do you need to make the break? Think about it...

As you get into situations in life, Satan will work hard to tempt you. Therefore, Christensen shared two things you can do:

1. You must be prepared before you get into a situation. When you make a decision about what you will do before you go, it is already decided and you don't have to battle with it.

2. This one has three parts:
a. Do you know what your spiritual gifts are?
b. Do you know what your talent you can do better than anyone else is?
c. Do you know how to share those gifts?

Doctrine and Covenants 46
1 Corinthians 12
Moroni 10

"Heavenly Father is listening to their prayers and he sent you!"

Beauty has many faces

Jackson Hole was a blast. I will post the pics when I get them uploaded. Although I did not spend a lot of quality photographic time this trip. I was with a group and that makes it difficult to do.

One morning, however, I got up early for a run. I ran all the way from Wyoming to Idaho! Huge! Anyway, I sat on a guard-rail along the highway and watched the sun paint the sky and the small lake below. It was beautiful. I was there for about 15-20 minutes and people probably wondered what I was doing when the drove by.

I ran back to camp and later on I went to the Tetons for the first time. We hiked up to Hidden Falls, which was gorgeous. I really wanted to go play in the water, but it was barred off. Perhaps another time early in the morning when there is not so many people around.

We then hiked up to Inspiration Point (elev 7,200 ft). The point looks out over Jenny Lake and off into the east. It was early afternoon, so the sky was not a cooperative blue for taking pics. Chipmunks came up to us as if they were going to crawl up out legs and take the food out of our hands (one of the unfortunate side effects of humans on nature).

The only thing I struggled with was I had a story I was following and being away made it difficult to do. But I picked it up when I got back in to the office and in the end police officers and fire fighters got an olive branch of sorts.

The Ogden City Council unanimously voted to recind and ordinance that made it more difficult for them to get merit increases. The council also voted in favor of creating a work-group to re-vamp the negotiation process for upcoming events. A smart move to avoid future contentions.

Although, I am not sure this is the end of it...

Beauty has many faces

Jackson Hole was a blast. I will post the pics when I get them uploaded. Although I did not spend a lot of quality photographic time this trip. I was with a group and that makes it difficult to do.

One morning, however, I got up early for a run. I ran all the way from Wyoming to Idaho! Huge! Anyway, I sat on a guard-rail along the highway and watched the sun paint the sky and the small lake below. It was beautiful. I was there for about 15-20 minutes and people probably wondered what I was doing when the drove by.

I ran back to camp and later on I went to the Tetons for the first time. We hiked up to Hidden Falls, which was gorgeous. I really wanted to go play in the water, but it was barred off. Perhaps another time early in the morning when there is not so many people around.

We then hiked up to Inspiration Point (elev 7,200 ft). The point looks out over Jenny Lake and off into the east. It was early afternoon, so the sky was not a cooperative blue for taking pics. Chipmunks came up to us as if they were going to crawl up out legs and take the food out of our hands (one of the unfortunate side effects of humans on nature).

The only thing I struggled with was I had a story I was following and being away made it difficult to do. But I picked it up when I got back in to the office and in the end police officers and fire fighters got an olive branch of sorts.

The Ogden City Council unanimously voted to recind and ordinance that made it more difficult for them to get merit increases. The council also voted in favor of creating a work-group to re-vamp the negotiation process for upcoming events. A smart move to avoid future contentions.

Although, I am not sure this is the end of it...

Arnold Newman

I am traveling to Jackson Hole this weekend so I thought I would bring up the Web site and see what there is to do. There is an Arnold Newman exibit that will be there. I was realatively unfamiliar with his work as a photographer. As I have been searching through some of his stuff, I recognize photos. He took a photo of Pablo Picasso I really like, and some others.

"We do not take pictures with out camaras, but with our hearts and minds," he said.

It is interesting he would say that. I would agree with it. So many of the things we remember are not captured on film, but they exist in our memory.

But beyond that, what really makes our finger push the trigger on a camera? We are not simply taking the picture because we have a camera in our hand. I would challenge you to really think about why you take the pictures you do.

N.Y. Times Quote of the Day

Imagine this...

"My goodness, it's my whole personal life. I had no idea somebody was looking over my shoulder."
THELMA ARNOLD, an AOL user who was identified through her Web searches.

A recolection of times past

I remember one time we went out to visit a brother who no one had seen in church for eons. They told us he wouldn't come back, mainly because he was REALLY old and hard for him to get to church. His children weren't memebers and that added to it. We decided to go out and see him anyway and spent the morning traveling and sharing with this man and his family. In true fashion, we invited them to come to church (not thinking they would actually come). To our surprise, on Sunday they arrived at the doors.

It was interesting to see how so many people warmly greeted him and his daughter. The part I found sad was that no one went after him when he stopped going to church. I am not sure what happened to him, or if he is even still alive. But his fortitude was a testimony to me. It was also a special reminder about where the Spirit will lead us if we are listening and paying attention.

I eat too much Chinese

Or maybe I eat too many fortune cookies...

Today:
Any troubles you may have will pass very shortly

Yesterday:
You will set foot on the soil of many countries in your lifetime

Random ones I found:
- You are an artistic person - let your colors show
- Your talents will capture you the highest status and pretige (um... I don't think so... not as a journalists at least)

Strangeness

Last night I had the weirdest dream!

Everything was in fast motion and it was the day of my wedding. The only problem is that I was totally unprepared. I didn't have a time at the temple, we were just going to go at 10:30 a.m.

I was running (literally) down I-15. When I passed the Kaysville exit, I passed a girl in a plain white dress going backward. I don't know who she is, but she had dark long hair and was going backwards.

Somewhere along the way I saw Kelly (last year's Senator for Students with Disabilities). She was working at this place and selling me something that was like poster board.

I was excited to get married, but at the same time I was worried because I had nothing prepared. Everything was pretty much by the seat of my pants. I don't even know who I was going to marry.

One weird thing I though of is that I had a meeting at 10:30 a.m. today. There was a boy there. He was cute and we had cordial conversation, but I am not sure of anything... strange... DON'T ANALYZE!!! argh!

Totally strange... Have no clue what, or if, it means.

Woah!

Yesterday was crazy weather day! And of course, I came to work in a skirt and flip-flops... Blah! At least I had my rain jacket in my car (I almost took out the other day, but left it 'just in case'...)

I drove out to Beehive Elementary in Kearns because they had been evacuated. Granit School Dist. is very closed. Everything has to go through their media person.

We got together last night for YSA FHE. Everyone who came had some good laughs and we ast yummy food. A few came over to my house after to watch a movie (Sons of Provo), but I fell asleep. I was tired, but it was fun to have everyone over.

I think I am sick with something. But I am too stubborn to stay home... Got to keep working... I almost have all my 80 hours saved up! Sweet!