Hello my friend,
Can you teach me how to breathe again?
I'm picking up the pieces
Because I just can't walk away.
Hello my friend,
Can you help me to my feet?
I'm wiping the tears from my eyes
Because I just don't want to remember.
Hello my friend,
Can you hold me by the hand?
I'm learning to stand tall
Because I just can't do it alone.
Hello my friend,
Will you walk by my side?
I'm learning to put one foot in front of the other
Because I don't have eyes to see.
Hello my friend,
Can you teach me how to breathe again?
I'm picking up the pieces
Because I just can't walk away.
Friday, November 28, 2008
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
"Love endureth by diligence"
I am not sure how I was lead to this scripture, but I was and those four words stuck into my head. Mormon is writing to his son Moroni speaking about the Christlike attributes that will lead us back to the presence of our Heavenly Father.
Love is not something that can be gained and kept without work. We must continually work to love those around us. We must continually work on our relationships. Love will only endure through our diligence and obedience. It will bring meekness and lowliness of heart, thereby bringing the Spirit into our lives. The Spirit is so important in order to give us the power and revelation we so succinctly need in our lives.
True love endures!
Love is not something that can be gained and kept without work. We must continually work to love those around us. We must continually work on our relationships. Love will only endure through our diligence and obedience. It will bring meekness and lowliness of heart, thereby bringing the Spirit into our lives. The Spirit is so important in order to give us the power and revelation we so succinctly need in our lives.
True love endures!
Cowgirls Don't Cry
I love this song. There are a lot of times we climb high in the saddle and we fall off who knows how many times. But we need to get back on and ride, no matter how much it hurts. The lessons will lead us to understand why we must go through the things we did to get where we got. From falling off, to losing the thing that has become so dear to our heart, we must remember, "Cowgirl don't cry. Ride baby ride. The lessons in life show us all in time, till soon God let's you know why."
Monday, November 24, 2008
Girls are like diamonds
I had one of the most interesting conversations tonight. It started off with, "I want to ask you something, but I don't want you to get mad at me..." Oh, boy! That question/statement usually doesn't follow with what I want in that moment. In fact, it's usually the downhill turn to whatever climax I have been having in life.
So, being brave I told him to ask. I was right about the back end, I didn't like it. But as much as I didn't like it, I did. There was so much sincerity and truth in the things that were said and I knew it must be so. Then came the part that impressed me the most and put up probably a hundred-gajillion bonus points for this person on my board.
"Girls are like diamonds. They are so precious and deserve the highest amount of respect." I think I had to stabilize myself from falling off the LuvSac. This person was already held in high esteem in my eyes, but this statement shot him over the top. The great part is that I know he meant every word.
I put tonight on my FaceBook status that someday, when the timing is right, I will be able to have what is in front of me. This person holds so many of the qualities of the person I seek to find in my life, but the timing is all wrong right now. I don't know why there are people who come in to our lives at the moments they do, but they do. The Lord in all his wisdom knows what he is doing and I just have to trust and keep walking forward. I respect this person and I care for them, and for that I have to step back and continue to be patient.
I don't know why the Lord thinks it's a good idea to put the unattainable in front of me, but I sure hope he is having fun with it ;) Someday the timing will be right and all of the qualities I find in this person will be in front of me again, yet this time they will be attainable.
So, being brave I told him to ask. I was right about the back end, I didn't like it. But as much as I didn't like it, I did. There was so much sincerity and truth in the things that were said and I knew it must be so. Then came the part that impressed me the most and put up probably a hundred-gajillion bonus points for this person on my board.
"Girls are like diamonds. They are so precious and deserve the highest amount of respect." I think I had to stabilize myself from falling off the LuvSac. This person was already held in high esteem in my eyes, but this statement shot him over the top. The great part is that I know he meant every word.
I put tonight on my FaceBook status that someday, when the timing is right, I will be able to have what is in front of me. This person holds so many of the qualities of the person I seek to find in my life, but the timing is all wrong right now. I don't know why there are people who come in to our lives at the moments they do, but they do. The Lord in all his wisdom knows what he is doing and I just have to trust and keep walking forward. I respect this person and I care for them, and for that I have to step back and continue to be patient.
I don't know why the Lord thinks it's a good idea to put the unattainable in front of me, but I sure hope he is having fun with it ;) Someday the timing will be right and all of the qualities I find in this person will be in front of me again, yet this time they will be attainable.
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Will ye also go away?
Sitting here this morning I am reflecting back on the events of last night. We have two wonderful people (Andy and Athena) who are taking the missionary lessons and will be getting baptized on Nov 29. I felt the Spirit so strong as I prayed they too would feel it, and that the missionaries would have the words they needed to hear.
Apart from this wonderful experience was also an experience that left me scratching my head. I said something at the end of the meeting praying they would feel the spirit of it. In reality I don't know why the events occurred. All I know is that they did, and these people would have gotten on anyone else's case about it.
Thinking back on it and the spirit I felt, I thought of Christ when he was teaching in Capernaum. I know he feels empathy when I read the scripture in John which says:
60 Many therefore of his disciples, when they had heard this, said, This is an hard saying; who can hear it? So much of my life I have been allowing myself to worry about acceptance from other people, particularly boys. I have yearned to feel love and know that I'm not going to be left behind, and I have been willing to do whatever it is to make sure they stay in my life. But over the past few weeks I have learned some valuable lessons that I now realize were only branches to my problem. The root is the fore mentioned issue at hand.
Coming to understand the root has allowed me to see more clearly the things I am doing in my life. My friend hasn't talked to me since I said something, praying they would feel the spirit of it. Normally right now I would be working to patch things up and saying how sorry I am. But I can't turn my back on something the spirit spoke so plainly to me about. I can't deny the veracity of the things I said.
In my life I have lost a lot of people because I have followed the spirit, and I imagine I may loose more throughout my lifetime because of the choice I make to follow my Savior without wavering. Does this mean I see myself as a perfect person? Of course not! It just means that I cannot straddle the gap anymore because it's getting too hard.
On Monday the lesson was about living in the world, but not of the world. Thinking back on that, I think of another lesson Jesus so poignantly taught, "No man can serve to masters." If we try, we will love the one and hate the other. There are talents and aids here in this life to help us navigate, but we cannot let those overtake us. Daily we are confronted with challenges and we will need to make choices to go one way or the other. I love the verses in DyC 130:
18 Whatever principle of aintelligence we attain unto in this life, it will rise with us in the bresurrection.
While principles of intelligence will rise with us, so will the things we have not overcome. That is why we are counseled to "not cprocrastinate the day of your repentance." Those who have repented will have a huge advantage in the next life because they won't have to spend time overcoming sins they should have taken care of here on earth. I don't want to experience knowing what I could have had and returning to a place where I will receive what I was willing to work for, "because they were not willing to enjoy that which they might have received" (DyC88:32). I want to be able to say that my eye is single to the glory of God, having my whole body filled with light and comprehend all things (DyC88:67).
In the gospel of Jesus Christ it is black and it is white. There is not place for fence sitters.
34 Behold, there are many acalled, but few are chosen. And why are they not chosen? 41 No apower or influence can or ought to be maintained by virtue of the bpriesthood, only by cpersuasion, by dlong-suffering, by gentleness and meekness, and by love unfeigned;
Apart from this wonderful experience was also an experience that left me scratching my head. I said something at the end of the meeting praying they would feel the spirit of it. In reality I don't know why the events occurred. All I know is that they did, and these people would have gotten on anyone else's case about it.
Thinking back on it and the spirit I felt, I thought of Christ when he was teaching in Capernaum. I know he feels empathy when I read the scripture in John which says:
60 Many therefore of his disciples, when they had heard this, said, This is an hard saying; who can hear it? So much of my life I have been allowing myself to worry about acceptance from other people, particularly boys. I have yearned to feel love and know that I'm not going to be left behind, and I have been willing to do whatever it is to make sure they stay in my life. But over the past few weeks I have learned some valuable lessons that I now realize were only branches to my problem. The root is the fore mentioned issue at hand.
Coming to understand the root has allowed me to see more clearly the things I am doing in my life. My friend hasn't talked to me since I said something, praying they would feel the spirit of it. Normally right now I would be working to patch things up and saying how sorry I am. But I can't turn my back on something the spirit spoke so plainly to me about. I can't deny the veracity of the things I said.
In my life I have lost a lot of people because I have followed the spirit, and I imagine I may loose more throughout my lifetime because of the choice I make to follow my Savior without wavering. Does this mean I see myself as a perfect person? Of course not! It just means that I cannot straddle the gap anymore because it's getting too hard.
On Monday the lesson was about living in the world, but not of the world. Thinking back on that, I think of another lesson Jesus so poignantly taught, "No man can serve to masters." If we try, we will love the one and hate the other. There are talents and aids here in this life to help us navigate, but we cannot let those overtake us. Daily we are confronted with challenges and we will need to make choices to go one way or the other. I love the verses in DyC 130:
18 Whatever principle of aintelligence we attain unto in this life, it will rise with us in the bresurrection.
While principles of intelligence will rise with us, so will the things we have not overcome. That is why we are counseled to "not cprocrastinate the day of your repentance." Those who have repented will have a huge advantage in the next life because they won't have to spend time overcoming sins they should have taken care of here on earth. I don't want to experience knowing what I could have had and returning to a place where I will receive what I was willing to work for, "because they were not willing to enjoy that which they might have received" (DyC88:32). I want to be able to say that my eye is single to the glory of God, having my whole body filled with light and comprehend all things (DyC88:67).
In the gospel of Jesus Christ it is black and it is white. There is not place for fence sitters.
34 Behold, there are many acalled, but few are chosen. And why are they not chosen?
36 That the arights of the priesthood are inseparably connected with the powers of heaven, and that the powers of heaven cannot be bcontrolled nor handled only upon the cprinciples of righteousness.
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Module #2
So, this week we are looking at gender and I am reading Beyond Work-Family Balance. The question of the week asks us to look at how we were taught to view our gender. I am posting the question and my answer is below it...
Question:
Let's see if we can do a little cultural research of our own on gender. Please list a few of the key cultural messages your received when you were growing up about what "a real man" or "good woman" should believe, value, assume, and how they should behave. Please remember:
Question:
Let's see if we can do a little cultural research of our own on gender. Please list a few of the key cultural messages your received when you were growing up about what "a real man" or "good woman" should believe, value, assume, and how they should behave. Please remember:
* It doesn't matter if you agree or disagree with them now - we are only making them visible.
* Please report only the messages you heard about your own gender - not those for others or their gender.
* Reframe from judging them and focus on accurately "seeing" them.
* Consider how those beliefs, values, and assumptions effect your behavior.
Answer:
Growing up was an interesting experience for me. My mom and dad were divorced and so in having a split house hold, I also had split value systems being taught to me. My mother was very much the proper person: girls should dress in skirts, mind your manners, make sure your hair is done just so, etc. My father on the other hand was a country boy: everyone should play in the dirt, share your opinion, learn how to do things for yourself, etc.
I remember having this struggle between "what" I should be. Do I follow my mother's wishes, or do I follow my father's (which seemed more fun)? Because I grew up under my mothers roof, it was all about the proper while inside I was screaming to break out. She wanted me to value her ways and I tried. I wore the "right" clothes (yes, that included name brands), I did my hair just so with scrunchies, bows, and all (remember those... yuck!), I strived to be Barbie.
But I think the breaking point for me, at least how I began to view gender personally, came one day when I was watching the Miss America Pageant. I told my mother I wanted to be up on that stage one day and her response was that I wasn't thin enough or tall enough. I thought to myself that if that was all it was about, I didn't want anymore to do with it.
I went cowboy where it didn't matter how thin you were, and all the girls accepted you for where you were. The outdoors became my refuge where I could interact with other girls who weren't afraid to break their nails. Learning to love nature and in turn love myself helped me understand that I have much more to offer than just poofy blonde hair and designer lable clothing. I was a "good woman" no matter what my weight, height, IQ, or interests, and I learned to provide for myself.
Monday, November 03, 2008
Birthright vs. Right now
30 And Esau said to Jacob, Feed me, I pray thee, with that same red pottage; for I am faint: therefore was his name called aEdom.
31 And Jacob said, Sell me this day thy abirthright.
33 And Jacob said, Swear to me this day; and he sware unto him: and he sold his birthright unto Jacob.
34 Then Jacob gave Esau bread and pottage of lentiles; and he did eat and drink, and rose up, and went his way: thus Esau despised his birthright.
Tonight our FHE was short, but powerful for me. For the past week I have been struggling with some things and I haven't been in the best situation spiritually. I have sought out council, and at the same time I have been waiting for someone to "give" me the answers. I guess you could say I have placed some unfair expectations on the Lord. There were answers I wanted, but I wasn't doing my part in order to receive them.
Tonight, Matt shared the story of Jacob and Esau. When he asked what it meant, the words just flowed from my mouth, "Esau gave up something eternal for something temporary."
Too often we fall into what we can see right here, right now. We are hungry, we are faint, we want it taken away. Someone comes along and offers us a quick fix, and we take it. Nephi reminds us, "Ye are swift to do iniquity but slow to remember the Lord our God" (1 Ne17:45). The answer is "given" to us.
But what we don't see is the great opportunity to learn. If we would sacrifice a little more, the Lord would show unto us "the mysteries of God... according to the heed and diligence which [we] give unto him" (Alma 12:9). What marvelous things we might experience if we would just hold out a little longer.
We have also been promised, "I will also be your alight in the wilderness; and I will prepare the way before you, if it so be that ye shall keep my commandments; wherefore, inasmuch as ye shall keep my commandments ye shall be led towards the bpromised land; and ye shall cknow that it is by me that ye are led" (1 Ne. 17:13).
Inasmuch as we keep the commandments, we will be led to the promised land - the blessings and answers we are seeking. "Wherefore, ye must press forward with a asteadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of bhope, and a clove of God and of all men. Wherefore, if ye shall press forward, feasting upon the word of Christ, and dendure to the end, behold, thus saith the Father: Ye shall have eeternal life" (2 Ne. 31:20).
Our Heavenly Father knows the beginning to the end. He knows the pains, joys, and sorrows we are and will yet to experience. The key is to hold on and endure to the end. He will lead us to the promised land as long as we are doing our part in pressing forward, having hope and love, feasting on the words of Christ, and enduring to the end.
"But behold, if ye will awake and arouse your faculties, even to an experiment upon my words, and exercise a particle of faith, yea, even if ye can no more than adesire to believe, let this desire work in you, even until ye believe in a manner that ye can give place for a portion of my words" (Alma 32:27).
Tonight our FHE was short, but powerful for me. For the past week I have been struggling with some things and I haven't been in the best situation spiritually. I have sought out council, and at the same time I have been waiting for someone to "give" me the answers. I guess you could say I have placed some unfair expectations on the Lord. There were answers I wanted, but I wasn't doing my part in order to receive them.
Tonight, Matt shared the story of Jacob and Esau. When he asked what it meant, the words just flowed from my mouth, "Esau gave up something eternal for something temporary."
Too often we fall into what we can see right here, right now. We are hungry, we are faint, we want it taken away. Someone comes along and offers us a quick fix, and we take it. Nephi reminds us, "Ye are swift to do iniquity but slow to remember the Lord our God" (1 Ne17:45). The answer is "given" to us.
But what we don't see is the great opportunity to learn. If we would sacrifice a little more, the Lord would show unto us "the mysteries of God... according to the heed and diligence which [we] give unto him" (Alma 12:9). What marvelous things we might experience if we would just hold out a little longer.
We have also been promised, "I will also be your alight in the wilderness; and I will prepare the way before you, if it so be that ye shall keep my commandments; wherefore, inasmuch as ye shall keep my commandments ye shall be led towards the bpromised land; and ye shall cknow that it is by me that ye are led" (1 Ne. 17:13).
Inasmuch as we keep the commandments, we will be led to the promised land - the blessings and answers we are seeking. "Wherefore, ye must press forward with a asteadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of bhope, and a clove of God and of all men. Wherefore, if ye shall press forward, feasting upon the word of Christ, and dendure to the end, behold, thus saith the Father: Ye shall have eeternal life" (2 Ne. 31:20).
Our Heavenly Father knows the beginning to the end. He knows the pains, joys, and sorrows we are and will yet to experience. The key is to hold on and endure to the end. He will lead us to the promised land as long as we are doing our part in pressing forward, having hope and love, feasting on the words of Christ, and enduring to the end.
"But behold, if ye will awake and arouse your faculties, even to an experiment upon my words, and exercise a particle of faith, yea, even if ye can no more than adesire to believe, let this desire work in you, even until ye believe in a manner that ye can give place for a portion of my words" (Alma 32:27).
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