1 Cor. 13

Paul extols the high status of charity—Charity, a pure love, excels and exceeds almost all else.

1 Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not ^acharity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal.

2 And though I have the gift of ^aprophecy, and understand all ^bmysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing.

3 And though I bestow all my goods to feed the ^apoor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing.

4 ^aCharity ^bsuffereth long, and is ^ckind; charity ^denvieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,

5 Doth not behave itself ^aunseemly, seeketh not her ^bown, is not easily ^cprovoked, thinketh no evil;

6 Rejoiceth not in ^ainiquity, but rejoiceth in the ^btruth;

7 Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.

8 Charity never ^afaileth: but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away.

9 For we know in part, and we prophesy in part.

10 But when that which is perfect is come, then that which is in part shall be done away.

11 When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.

12 For now we see through a ^aglass, ^bdarkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.

13 And now abideth ^afaith, ^bhope, ^ccharity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity.

My mission president asked us to memorize this chapter in 1 Corinthians quarterly. I believe at the time I understood it in part. But the more I learn about the gospel and the people around me, the more I begin to understand what Paul was talking about.

We can have every good gift in the world, and it will profit us nothing if we don't have charity. It is the ever important Christlike attribute that completes the necessary three. So many times in the scriptures you will find faith, hope and charity together. Paul tells us that the most important one is charity.

Tonight I learned something interesting. I was speaking with my bishop and we were talking about how often we don't see clearly. That's when verses 11 & 12 came to my mind. So often we are so childlike about things and our perspective won't change until we "grow" (spiritually or physically); and often our view is obscured by dark glass when later we see "face to face."

I don't know that I can explain what I was taught other than that we need to constantly be growing and stretching, and putting away childish things. These could include things like our attitudes, pride, and a whole host of other things. Paul teaches that only when those things are put out of our lives that faith, hope and charity will be able to abide in our lives. For "when that which is perfect is come, then that which is in part shall be done away."

Technopoly, Dating, Relationships, and Marriage

Neil Postman passed away in 2003, three years before the advent of facebook, blogs, MySpace, and the super rise of social media. The critic, communication theorist, and former chair of the Department of Communication Arts & Sciences at NYU wrote 17 books, among them one entitled Technopoly: The Surrender of Culture to Technology. I read the book as part of one of my classes this last year. The professor seemed hellbent to prove that technology was evil and that it would destroy us all socially.

In the beginning I really wanted to fight against his thought process. But ruminations a year later lead me to believe that he was pushing us to see beyond the accepted. Is technology really our friend? Will it inhibit our ability to memorize? To communicate face-to-face effectively? I am not sure Postman was totally against technology, however he was warning us about its effects. He warns about becoming "tools of our tools."

While many would agree that one of the most universal and significant tools for the transfer of knowledge is writing (of many kinds), argument over the usefulness of the written word exists however, with some scholars skeptical of its impact on societies. Postman demonstrates the argument against the use of writing through an excerpt from Plato's work Phaedrus. In this excerpt the scholar Socrates recounts the story of Thamus, the Egyptian king and Theuth the inventor of the written word. In this story, Theuth presents his new invention "writing" to King Thamus, telling Thamus that his new invention "will improve both the wisdom and memory of the Egyptians." King Thamus is skeptical of this new invention and rejects it as a tool of recollection rather than retained knowledge. He argues that the written word will infect the Egyptian people with fake knowledge as they will be able to attain facts and stories from an external source and will no longer be forced to mentally retain large quantities of knowledge themselves.

I think of novelists such as Austin, Twain, London, Salinger, Mitchell, and many others; and their infinite vocabulary. They "knew" what they were writing. Today, our vocabulary is so mundane, repetitive and awful. I watch this generation coming up and they can barely spell let alone write a coherent sentence. By no means do I place myself aside from this, for I have so much yet to learn.

Then I watch this curse sneak into our everyday lives. The advent of texting, IMing, online dating, social media and other forms of computer mediated communication has further driven FtF out the door. People hide behind a wall of CMC in order not to be embarrassed, to flame, and/or exchange messages they would never exchange in person.

Recently a friend vowed he was no longer going to communicate with girls via texting because it took emotion and other things out of the conversation. I am not sure how that is going for him. But I worry that we place so much emphasis on CMC that without it, we believe the other person to be indifferent to our feelings.

There is also another person in my life that will pick a fight via text rather than say anything to me. This person is part of the younger generation and it bothers me that they are OK with this kind of communication. CMC has inhibited our ability to properly resolve issues in through FtF. Our ability to communicate our feelings has been detached through the use of technology.

Recently I have watched as people use Facebook as a form of communication to let the world know of their relationships, lack thereof, martial issues, happiness & unhappiness with the world and everything in it, and a host of other things. What has the world come to?

George Bernard Shaw wrote that the average person today is about as credulous as was the average person in the Middle Ages. Postman writes, "In the Middle Ages, people believed in the authority of their religion, no matter what. Today, we believe in the authority of our science, no matter what... We believe because there is not reason no to believe... Technopoly deprives us of the social, political, historical, metaphysical, logical, or spiritual bases for knowing what is beyond belief."

Studies have been done that people believe more of what they read on the internet than anything else. Communication travels so fast that stories about our relations can be twisted and incorrect in a matter of minutes. We can publish "our side" and get people's opinions, thereby adding a dimension of defamation to the other party.

Elder Russell M. Nelson recounts this story:

"As we Brethren travel about the world, sometimes we see worrisome scenes. On a recent flight, I sat behind a husband and wife. She obviously loved her husband. As she stroked the back of his neck I could see her wedding ring. She would nestle close to him and rest her head upon his shoulder, seeking his companionship.

"In contrast, he seemed totally oblivious to her presence. He was focused solely upon an electronic game player. During the entire flight, his attention was riveted upon that device. Not once did he look at her, speak to her, or acknowledge her yearning for affection.

"His inattention made me feel like shouting: “Open your eyes, man! Can’t you see? Pay attention! Your wife loves you! She needs you!”"

He goes on to say that he could have totally misread the situation, however, perhaps not. The perception to others seemed that he was oblivious and that his gaming machine was more important to him than potentially valuable one-on-one time with his wife. How sad.

Then he states, "But these things I do know: I know “that marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God and that the family is central to the Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of His children.” 1 I know that the earth was created and that the Lord’s Church was restored so that families could be sealed and exalted as eternal entities. 2 And I know that one of Satan’s cunning methods of undermining the work of the Lord is to attack the sacred institutions of marriage and the family."

I firmly believe that Satan is using something so beautiful to destroy. The rise of pornography, false information online, and other garbage has shown how quickly something good can turn to something bad. Satan wants to ensure we are unhappy in life, "happily" single, unmarried, and that if we make it through the gauntlet and get married, that that too is destroyed.

I love what Elder Nelson gives as a help and guide to make things better in our lives. Whether we are married or not, I believe they will help in any situation in our life.

"My suggestions use three action verbs: to appreciate, to communicate, and to contemplate.

"To appreciate—to say “I love you” and “thank you”—is not difficult. But these expressions of love and appreciation do more than acknowledge a kind thought or deed. They are signs of sweet civility. As grateful partners look for the good in each other and sincerely pay compliments to one another, wives and husbands will strive to become the persons described in those compliments.

"Suggestion number two—to communicate well with your spouse—is also important. Good communication includes taking time to plan together. Couples need private time to observe, to talk, and really listen to each other. They need to cooperate—helping each other as equal partners. They need to nurture their spiritual as well as physical intimacy. They should strive to elevate and motivate each other. Marital unity is sustained when goals are mutually understood. Good communication is also enhanced by prayer. To pray with specific mention of a spouse’s good deed (or need) nurtures a marriage.

"My third suggestion is to contemplate. This word has deep meaning. It comes from Latin roots: con, meaning “with,” and templum, meaning “a space or place to meditate.” It is the root from which the word temple comes. If couples contemplate often—with each other in the temple—sacred covenants will be better remembered and kept. Frequent participation in temple service and regular family scripture study nourish a marriage and strengthen faith within a family. Contemplation allows one to anticipate and to resonate (or be in tune) with each other and with the Lord. Contemplation will nurture both a marriage and God’s kingdom. The Master said, “Seek not the things of this world but seek ye first to build up the kingdom of God, and to establish his righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you.” 17"

Like I wrote earlier, these are directed at married people but I believe they can be applied very literally to our everyday lives. Technology is a wonderful thing, but it is perhaps one of the most destructive things in the shortest amount of time. The most important measure is not to become "tools of our tools" as we move forward and work to build relationships with others around us, especially those relationships that have eternal potential.

Envisages

I love quotes. Especially those that are inspirational and dealing with art. Although, probably higher on the list are quotes about communication and leadership. The following are a few I have come across ...

Vincent Van Gogh on Talent: "the art trade brings with it certain prejudices ... particularly ideas that painting is a gift — well yes, a gift, but not as they make it appear; one must reach out and take it (and that taking is a difficult thing), not wait until it manifests itself of its own accord. ... one learns by doing. One becomes a painter by painting. If one wants to become a painter, if one has passion, if one feels what you feel, then one can do it, but this can go hand in hand with difficulty, worries, disappointments, times of melancholy, of powerlessness and all that."
Letter by Van Gogh to his brother Theo, 16 October 1883

"I am doubtful of any talent, so whatever I choose to be, will be accomplished only by long study and work" – Jackson Pollock, Abstract Expressionist

“Creation is the artist's true function. But it would be a mistake to ascribe creative power to an inborn talent. Creation begins with vision. The artist has to look at everything as though seeing it for the first time." -- Henri Matisse, French Fauvist

"What they call talent is nothing but the capacity for doing continuous work in the right way.” -- Winslow Homer, American artist

"Talent is so loaded a word, so full to the brim with meanings, that an artist might be wise to forget about it altogether and just keep on working.” –- Eric Maisel, creativity coach

“Talent is long patience, and originality an effort of will and of intense observation” – Gustav Flaubert, French novelist

"Self-discipline without talent can often achieve astounding results, whereas talent without self-discipline inevitably dooms itself to failure." -- Sydney Harris, American journalist

"Creativity is not the finding of a thing, but the making something out of it after it is found.” -- James Russell Lowell, American poet and critic

“Creative thinking is not a talent, it is a skill that can be learnt. It empowers people by adding strength to their natural abilities which improves teamwork, productivity and where appropriate profits.” –- Edward de Bono, creativity writer

“The misperception that creativity is a natural talent and cannot be taught actually very convenient because it relieves everybody of the need to do anything about fostering creativity. If it is only available as a natural talent then there is no point in seeking to do anything about creativity.” -- Edward de Bono, creativity writer

”That some people are naturally creative does not mean than such people would not be even more creative with some training and techniques. Nor does it mean than other people can never become creative.” -- Edward de Bono, creativity writer

“Beyond talent lie all the usual words: discipline, love, luck -- but, most of all, endurance.” James Baldwin, American novelist

“Art is not about thinking something up. It is the opposite -- getting something down.” – Julia Cameron, author of The Artist’s Way

"Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep." -- Scott Adams, creator of Dilbert cartoons

"Like everything else, some people will be better at it than others. However, doing something creative is a most rewarding activity, and will result in a great sense of satisfaction, no matter how good or bad the artist may be." -- British artist and TV presenter Tony Hart, "Tony Hart Reveals His Drawing Secrets" in The Times newspaper, 30 September 2008

"You can't cross the sea merely by standing and staring at the water.” -- Rabindranath Tagore

"When I judge art, I take my painting and put it next to a God made object like a tree or flower. If it clashes, it is not art.” -- Marc Chagall

”What distinguishes a great artist from a weak one is first their sensibility and tenderness; second, their imagination, and third, their industry.” -- John Ruskin

”Art washes from the soul the dust of everyday life.” -- Picasso

”An artist is not paid for his labour but for his vision.” -- James MacNeill Whistler

”Every artist dips his brush in his own soul and paints his own nature into his pictures.” -- Henry Ward Beecher

”Happy are the painters, for they shall not be lonely. Light and colour, peace and hope, will keep them company to the end of the day." -- Winston Churchill

”Beginning with audacity is a very great part of the art of painting.” -- Winston Churchill

”Never leave a painting mediocre; it's better to take a chance with it.” -- Guy Corriero

”I am always doing things I can't do, that's how I get to do them.” -- Picasso

”I paint objects as I think them, not as I see them.” -- Picasso

”The artist is a receptacle for emotions that come from all over the place: from the sky, from the earth, from a scrap of paper, from a passing shape, from a spider's web.” -- Picasso

"You are not here merely to make a living. You are here in order to enable the world to live more amply, with greater vision, with a finer spirit of hope and achievement. You are here to enrich the world, and you impoverish yourself if you forget that errand." -- Woodrow Wilson

"I never finish a painting -- I just stop working on it for a while." -- Arshile Gorky

"Real painters understand with a brush in their hand ... what does anyone do with rules? Nothing worthwhile." -- Berthe Moriset

"Do not worry about your originality. You could not get rid of it even if you wanted to." -- Robert Henri

”No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main." -- John Donne

”An artist's early work is inevitably made up of a mixture of tendencies and interests, some of which are compatible and some of which are in conflict. As the artist picks his way along, rejecting and accepting as he goes, certain patterns of enquiry emerge. His failures are as valuable as his successes: by misjudging one thing he conforms something else, even if at the time he does not know what that something else is.” -- Bridget Riley

”Even at best talent remains a constant, and those who rely upon that gift alone, without developing further, peak quickly and soon fade to obscurity.” -- David Bayles and Ted Orland

”The seed of your next art work lies embedded in the imperfections of your current piece. Such imperfections (or mistakes, if you’re feeling particularly depressed about them today) are your guides -- valuable, reliable, objective, non-judgemental guides -- to matters you need to reconsider or develop further.” -- David Bayles and Ted Orland

”A painting in a museum probably hears more foolish remarks than anything else in the world.” -- Edmond and Jules De Goncourt

Torture

A year ago today my life fell apart ...

Life was going well and I thought I had pretty much all I could have ever wanted. I spent some time in Southern Utah and was rushing home to shoot a bridal I had mis-scheduled. Upon my arrival and rush to the location, I crashed my car.

That crash became a turning point. It was that day I felt I lost it all. My car was on the verge of being totaled and that special person in my life was nowhere to be found. I didn't hear from him for days and I wondered what I did wrong. Then the next thing I know I am single again.

The year before I lost a wonderful job, my best friend and further made an idiot of myself ... The year before that I had a rise and fall. Gaining a wonderful job and losing a very important person in my life. And the year before that I was upside down in some other garbage with school.

As much as I love Christmas, I usually tend to destroy things around this time of year; and it usually involves important people of the male gender in my life. And sometimes, it involves my professional life ... It seems to be my RM curse ...

Last night I got lost in thinking "what if" and the past. It sent me into a tail-spin and it was all I could do to pull out the sewing machine and make a scarf, and then I moved on to make some rings. Before I knew it 1 a.m. rolled around and I was exhausted. But my mind was still racing.

Today, I had to teach and I felt the spirit but was still struggling to feel the spirit. We had some wonderful talks and I felt I spoke what I was supposed to in my lesson. But something needs to change. Stress and other garbage are inhibiting my ability to feel the Spirit on a consistent basis.

Yesterday as I was driving home I needed something more than the tunes on my phone, so I started listing to past CES talks. One of my favs is Lessons from Liberty Jail by Jeffery R. Holland. There were some things in there that I needed to hear again and I was grateful in that moment for technology.

"So in what sense could Liberty Jail be called a “temple,” and what does such a title tell us about God’s love and teachings, including where and when that love and those teachings are made manifest? In precisely this sense: that you can have sacred, revelatory, profoundly instructive experiences with the Lord in any situation you are in. Indeed, you can have sacred, revelatory, profoundly instructive experiences with the Lord in the most miserable experiences of your life—in the worst settings, while enduring the most painful injustices, when facing the most insurmountable odds and opposition you have ever faced.

"In one way or another, great or small, dramatic or incidental, every one of us is going to spend a little time in Liberty Jail—spiritually speaking. We will face things we do not want to face for reasons that may not be our fault. Indeed, we may face difficult circumstances for reasons that were absolutely right and proper, reasons that came because we were trying to keep the commandments of the Lord. We may face persecution, we may endure heartache and separation from loved ones, we may be hungry and cold and forlorn. Yes, before our lives are over we may all be given a little taste of what the prophets faced often in their lives.

"But the lessons of the winter of 1838–39 teach us that every experience can become a redemptive experience if we remain bonded to our Father in Heaven through it. These difficult lessons teach us that man’s extremity is God’s opportunity, and if we will be humble and faithful, if we will be believing and not curse God for our problems, He can turn the unfair and inhumane and debilitating prisons of our lives into temples—or at least into a circumstance that can bring comfort and revelation, divine companionship and peace.

... "The first lesson from Liberty Jail is inherent in what I’ve already mentioned—that everyone, including, and perhaps especially, the righteous, will be called upon to face trying times. When that happens we can sometimes fear that God has abandoned us, and we might be left, at least for a time, to wonder when our troubles will ever end. As individuals, as families, as communities, and as nations, probably everyone has had or will have an occasion to feel as Joseph Smith felt when he cried from the depth and discouragement of his confinement: “O God, where art thou? … How long shall thy hand be stayed … ? Yea, O Lord, how long shall [thy people] suffer … before … thy bowels be moved with compassion toward them?” (D&C 121:1–3)."

We will all have Liberty Jail experiences. The challenge is how we will deal with it ...

For me, I usually come out of it. I figure it out and I move on. But like Joseph during his time in jail, we must go through a small moment of suffering before the Lord will liberate us. Like Elder Holland said, God "can turn the unfair and inhumane and debilitating prisons of our lives into temples."

Perhaps next year I'll take the class for "credit" ;)

It just doesn't feel like Christmas

It has been a weird time of year for me. Normally this is my favorite. It's not for the gifts, the romance (which is a rarity), or any of the other material things. I love this time of year because people turn from a selfish focus (mostly) to a focus of others and service.

But this year something was different.

My tree was up before Thanksgiving and I loved to sit in my living room at night with just the glow of the tree. I didn't purchase any gifts (just like I haven't for several years). But I struggled to figure out what I was going to "give". People asked me what I wanted and I couldn't think of anything, nor did I worry if I received anything. Oddly enough, I didn't even really feel the Spirit of Christmas like I normally do.

I struggled to know why this was. A few key indicators point to why (extra stress, a new job, lack of my other one, focus on things that are trivial, etc.). I asked to feel, to experience something ... Nothing for a few days ... I didn't even feel like doing anything (my calling, preparing my lesson, serving, etc.).

Still struggling ... ugh! ... Then it came ...

In the quiet of the temple on a night when a friend was taking out his endowments and preparing for a mission. I stood in the Celestial Room apart from the crowd. My heart marveled at the reception of friends and family. I love watching this occurrence any time I get the privilege. It takes my mind to a place where this happens daily in the presence of loved ones who have passed on, who great those who are taking that next step to move on.

Is this what the reception is like in the Spirit World? Will this be what it is like one day for us?

There are always tears (usually from mom), hugs, and lots of smiles. Everyone gathers round together, and for a moment Heaven connects with Earth as the eternal bonds of family are strengthened. In those brief moments God smiles down upon His children with joy.

Then, perhaps my lesson for the evening ...

In our party were two future missionaries. The second one was a little more unassuming and quiet than Cameron. However, I watched as he slowly pulled away from his party with tears in his eyes. He found a chair, sat down, and bowed his head. When he looked up, it was as if he was trying to hide those tears ... But it was all he could do to keep them wiped away.

My heart swelled for this young man. Somehow I believe he understood something more than most people do when the enter the House of the Lord for the first time (even if it was just a small portion). Perhaps it was an inkling of his understanding of God's love and desires for him.

Then it came to me so softly ... "Christmas isn't about the hustle and bustle, gifts, food, or anything material for that matter ... It's about a little boy of no means who became a Savior, who went about doing good continually, and gave us the Ultimate gift; then giving that gift in return by using His gift as an example."

In that moment I felt peace and a moment of Christmas. Once I left the walls of the temple though I felt the weight of the world come back down on me. But for the past week I have held on to that small moment and cherished it. It may not be like Christmases past, but it was at least peaceful and without too much drama ...

in⋅trigue

/v. ɪnˈtrig; n. ɪnˈtrig, ˈɪntrig/ Show Spelled Pronunciatio[v. in-treeg; n. in-treeg, in-treeg] Show IPA verb, -trigued, -tri⋅guing, noun
–verb (used with object)

1.	to arouse the curiosity or interest of by unusual, new, or otherwise fascinating or compelling qualities; appeal strongly to; captivate: The plan intrigues me, but I wonder if it will work.

2.	to achieve or earn by appealing to another's curiosity, fancy, or interest: to intrigue one's way into another's notice.

3.	to draw or capture: Her interest was intrigued by the strange symbol.

4.	to accomplish or force by crafty plotting or underhand machinations.

5.	Obsolete. to entangle.

6.	Obsolete. to trick or cheat.

Interesting; Dangerous; Entangling; Drawing; Captivating

Whenever I am intrigued by something it ends one of two ways: good or bad. Most often it is the latter. It is like a firefly drawn to the lantern. I hover around it, inspect it, but upon closer acquaintance something happens and I get zapped.

The zap can be a snap back to reality, understanding something isn't as interesting as it looked, or pain. Intrigue never ends well for me. Although, most of the time I find myself drawn to certain people (especially persons of interest) because of shared experiences. We can communicate in a way others can't because we have trodden the road. But in the end, there is something that pushes us apart.

I experience ADD in this department. If something doesn't happen in the time frame I want, I drop it and move on to the next point of interest. Is that a good thing? Probably not. There is potentially a lesson to be learned, and I might miss it. But I am in this to find someone, not to play around. And this scares many.

Do I tell people I am interested in them? No. I dislike rejection to the nth degree. Sure, I tell people, "What's the worst they can say? No?" But I don't listen to my own words very well ;) I would rather climb a ladder and play on a roof than tell a boy I am interested. I will find any way to avoid it, but at the same time work to help them understand (but that is a less-effective method).

So, intrigue ends in putting myself in the "friend zone." A safe place where I ineffectively divert attention from myself to other people. So, I become an Emma in a sense and I have gotten pretty good at it. Someday maybe I'll meet my match and he'll challenge me. Until then, I observe him from afar with intrigue.