Day 20: I love to see the temple

I have been in love with the temple since I have learned about them. When I played the piano in Primary the song I Love to See The Temple was my favorite. It would bring tears to my eyes to hear such innocent voices sing about something so sacred.

Growing up in my home it wasn't something that was a focus. I didn't even fully comprehend the idea. But I knew that it was a holy place and I wanted to be worthy to go inside one day. I didn't know if it would be on my own preparing for a mission or for getting married, but I felt stronger about the mission route. 

I have had the opportunity a handful of times to witness the sealing of people most dear to me and feeling of the power of those covenants. A few times I have been proxy for those who have passed on. It is a wonderful feeling to know you are helping someone in their eternal progression who has been waiting hundreds of years. Then just going to the temple for others is a wonderful blessing. I pray each time that the person will understand and accept the work that has been / is being done for them. 

Recently I remember walking through the halls of the Nauvoo temple and being overwhelmed with tears. I didn't understand it at the time, but later I would. In me was a sense that this temple was closer to me than I comprehended. And it was.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                         

Day 19: Time

“Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” 

~ Steve Jobs

Day 19: Rising From The Ruin

"On my way back home I take a little detour and stop at the address in Rome I find most strangely affecting — the Augusteum. The big, round, ruined pile of brick started life as a glorious mausoleum, built by Octavian Augustus to house his remains and the remains of his family for all of eternity. It must have been impossible for the Emperor to have imagined at the time that Rome would ever be anything but a mighty Augustus-worshiping empire. How could he have possibly foreseen the collapse of the realm? Or known that, with all the aqueducts destroyed by barbarians and with the great roads left in ruin, the city would empty of citizens, and it would take almost twenty centuries before Rome ever recovered the population she had boasted during her height of glory? 


"Augustus’s mausoleum fell to ruins and thieves during the Dark Ages. Somebody stole the emperor’s ashes — no telling who. By the 12th century, though, the monument had been renovated into a fortress for the powerful Colonna family, to protect them from assaults of various warring princes. Then the Augusteum was transformed somehow into a vineyard, then a Renaissance garden, then a bullring, then a fireworks depository, then a concert hall. In 1930s, Mussolini seized the property and restored it down to it’s classical foundations, so that it could someday be the final resting place for his remains. (Again, it must have been impossible back then to imagine that Rome could ever be anything but a Mussolini-worshiping empire.) Of course, Mussolini’s fascist dream did not last, nor did he get the imperial burial that he had anticipated. 


"Today the Augusteum is one of the quietest and lonliest places in Rome, buried deep in the ground. The city has grown up around it over the centuries. Traffic above the monument spins in a hectic circle, and nobody ever goes down there — from what I can tell — except to use the place as a public bathroom. But the building still exists, holding its Roman ground with dignity, waiting for the next incarnation. 


"I find the endurance of the Augusteum so reassuring, that this structure has had such an erratic career, yet always adjusted to the particular wildness of the times. To me, the Augusteum is like a person who’s led a totally crazy life — who maybe started out as a housewife, then unexpectedly became a widow, then took up fan dancing to make money, ended up somehow as the first female dentist in outer space, then tried her hand at national politics — yet who has managed to hold an intact sense of herself throughout the upheaval. 


"I look at the Augusteum, and I think that perhaps my life has not actually been so chaotic, after all. It is merely this world that is chaotic, bringing changes to us all that nobody could have anticipated. The Augsteum warns me never to get attached to any obsolete idea about who I am, what I represent, whom I belong to, or what function I may once have intended to serve. Yesterday, I may have been a glorious monument to somebody, true enough — but tomorrow I could be a fireworks depository. Even in the eternal city, says the silent Augusteum, one must always be prepared for riotous and endless waves of transformation."

I love this piece of writing from Elizabeth Gilbert's Eat Pray Love. She reminds me that many great things can come from ruin, and that sometimes what we anticipate becomes something else. Life is full of change and we shouldn't get attached to too many things.

Once someone asked me where I saw myself in 5 and 10 years. I told him I wanted to be working on my master's, graduated, maybe a family (if it was in the cards). At that time I wanted an MBA and to be working in corporate. Well, that didn't happen. And neither has a family.

My plans have adjusted according to the course I feel I should be pursuing in my life. It has also adjusted according to need. I never intended to be a teacher. In fact, I wanted to be the farthest away possible. But looking back on my experiences and the passion I feel now, I am very content with where I am.

Our lives may fall apart, or we may feel like they are at the point of ruin, but there will always be something beautiful if we will allow it to happen. Sometimes that means letting go. And like the butterflies, if they are meant to be a part of our lives, they will return. But until then we must let go and rise from the ruin.

Day 18: Let Them Be Men

I have posted this before, but today I must post it again along with another video. Part of love is sacrifice and honoring Priesthood. It doesn't matter if you are a father, or not. Men of God show the utmost love and sacrifice through honoring their priesthood.

It is written, "The priesthood is the eternal power and authority of God. Through the priesthood God created and governs the heavens and the earth. Through this power He redeems and exalts His children, bringing to pass “the immortality and eternal life of man” (Moses 1:39). God gives priesthood authority to worthy male members of the Church so they can act in His name for the salvation of His children. Priesthood holders can be authorized to preach the gospel, administer the ordinances of salvation, and govern the kingdom of God on the earth."

In my life, I grew up in a home without a man who held the priesthood. To say the least, it was difficult. But now I have wonderful home teachers who are ready and willing to help anyone at any time. Someday I want a marriage to a man who is just as ready and willing to bless our family through his calling on this earth.

Stand up and be men!

Day 13-17: Forgiveness 2.0

I posted Saturday a song and a quote about forgiveness, but I don't know that it adequatly sums up everything I feel about the subject. So I am posting practically my entire week about it. That, however, is not to say I will do better a second time.

This is not to say it is a cop out for not writing for a week, but I have honestly been thinking about it. What an interesting concept. On Sunday we had a wonderful Ward Conference and a verse in the sacrament hymn hit me like it never had before:

As now our minds review the past,
We know we must repent;
The way to thee is righteousness —
The was thy life was spent.
Forgiveness is a gift from thee
We seek with pure intent.
With hands now pledged to do thy work,
We take the sacrament.
~ Hymn #169 (italics added)

I have been thinking a lot about covenants, the promises we make with God, ourselves, and others. What a powerful opportunity! When our hands touch the bread and water we pledge to do all the Lord asks us to do. That is part of the covenant. We are to give our lives to Him. When we do, He will give us the one we want back.

What does it mean to make a covenant? Do we make them and then not follow through? We need to make sure we really intend to follow through. When you give the Lord your life, He will give you the one you want in return. When we covenant with our Heavenly Father there are promises waiting for us.

So what happens when we forget about our covenants? Do we get lost in an abyss? The scriptures tell us time and time again of a God who will forgive, even unto a complete forgetting of what we have done wrong if we will confess it before Him and seek His help to overcome our faults.

In a talk titled "Finding Forgiveness", Elder Richard G. Scott states, "Recently . . . I encountered a large temporary sign declaring Rough Road Ahead, and indeed it was. Had I not been warned, that experience would have been disastrous. Life is like that. It's full of rough spots. Some are tests to make us stronger. Others result from our own disobedience. . . . Each one of us encounters unique challenges meant for growth."

Life is full of rough spots, both expected and unexpected. Living our life with the Spirit will help us to better understand the "road signs" and when the rough patches will come, or how we can navigate them. But when we fall into a rough patch that seems like it has no way out, we need to turn to the Lord. He will help us get back on the road that will lead to a smoother journey.

Elder Scott goes on to say, "The fruit of true repentance is forgiveness, which opens the door to receive all of the covenants and ordinances provided on this earth and to enjoy the resulting blessings. When a repentant soul is baptized, all former sins are forgiven and need not be remembered. When repentance is full and one has been cleansed, there comes a new vision of life and its glorious possibilities. How marvelous the promise of the Lord: 'Behold, he who has repented of his sins, the same is forgiven, and I, the Lord, remember them no more.' The Lord is and ever will be faithful to His words."

Isaiah writes, "Though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow" (Isaiah 1:18).

Recently in my life I have had to work some things out. Forgiveness, both receiving and giving, seem to be a constant. Growing up I lived with a lot of hard feelings and I remember a night not to long ago asking forgiveness from a person in my life. It had an impact on them. It had an impact on me. I left the house feeling like I was walking on air. Lifting that burden from my life helped me to begin to move on.

This new challenge I have encountered has not been as hard as I thought it would be. There are things that happened, experiences, I will never be able to get back. But those are part of the choices we make. I was so hurt when information came to light, and I have become so un-trusting.

There was a point where I thought things had changed, and I put myself back in the line of fire. But it was no different the second time. The serpent is just the same. It may change in appearance, but a serpent is a serpent.

When I got bit the second time around I removed myself immediately and have not looked back. When I saw this person I thought it would be awkward, but I felt liberated. Because I had made the choice to let go, seek forgiveness and move on, I was strengthened by my Heavenly Father.

Does this mean that I loath the person? No. I still care for them like I do any other friend. Elder Jeffrey R. Holland said, "Is there someone in your life who perhaps needs forgiveness? Is there someone in your home, someone in your family, someone in your neighborhood who has done an unjust or an unkind or an unchristian thing? All of us are guilty of such transgressions, so there surely must be someone who yet needs your forgiveness."

I have asked forgiveness of this person, I have asked forgiveness of my Heavenly Father. Now I work to put the pieces of my life back together. Each day I feel the tender mercies of the Lord and understand more and more the things He would have me do.

"As we consider the unity required for Zion to flourish, we should ask ourselves if we have overcome jarrings, contentions, envyings, and strifes (see D&C 101:6)" said Elder D. Todd Christofferson. "Are we individually and as a people free from strife and contention and united 'according to the union required by the law of the celestial kingdom'? (D&C 105:4). Forgiveness of one another is essential to this unity. Jesus said, 'I, the Lord, will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men' (D&C 64:10).

"We will become of one heart and one mind as we individually place the Savior at the center of our lives and follow those He has commissioned to lead us"

Elder Lance B. Wickman further added, "It remains . . . for you and me to both seek and tender [the Savior's] forgiveness—to both repent and to extend charity to others—which enables us to pass through the door the Savior holds open, thus to cross the threshold from this life into exaltation. Today is the day to forgive others their trespasses, secure in the knowledge that the Lord will thus forgive ours. As Luke significantly recorded, 'Be ye therefore merciful' (Luke 6:36; emphasis added). Perfection may elude us here, but we can be merciful. And in the end, repenting and forgiving are among God's chief requirements of us."

Today is the day. Let go of whatever is in your life weighing you down like overloaded baggage. Today is the day!

Day 12: Forgiveness

“To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.”
~ Lewis B. Smedes

Day 11: L-O-V-E

I have enjoyed this song for a long time. It seemed appropriate to go with this video I found the other day from some of my favorite photographers. In love it really does "take two to tango." Despite our differences, two can make it work together if they really want to make the effort.


James & Jenny - It Takes Two To Tango from Little Collins Pictures on Vimeo.

Day 10: Love is good

Time is too slow for those who wait, too swift for those who fear, too long for those who grieve, too short for those who rejoice, but for those who love, time is eternity. 

~ Henry Van Dyke

Day 9: Silly Love Songs

By no means am I a "Gleek", but it does put a smile on my Roomie's face when I do watch it. Today I needed something chorousy (is that a word?) and somehow was led to watching this episode. Watching it I realized there were many correlations to my own life: not a big fan of V-day, dealing with feeling cheated on, making things up in my head, a dating tryst, a not-so-"beautiful" girls who's headstrong, and breaking out to become who I can be.

Throughout the whole episode they sing "love songs" to their special someone and each of them speaks a different message. Personally I don't mind most "love" songs and they actually remind us of things we had, have, or hope to have. They keep being made because they speak something of our lives.

In the beginning of the episode Kurt talks about the non-sense of Valentine's Day. It's one more excuse to sell candy, cards, and flowers. Darren reminds him that there shouldn't be anything wrong with a day set aside to tell someone you love them. While it shouldn't be the only day, perhaps we need a day to remind us of what it is to love.

While I am only nine days into my search of characteristics of love, I can already see a difference in how I deal with things. In one part of the episode Mercedes talks about their diva idols and said, "They took all the pain and lonliness and they put it into their music." While I don't put mine in to music, I put it in to writing, photography, and work. Looking for the positive and an outlet for pain helps one to heal faster and move on.

Recently I knew something was coming to an end. Heavenly Father let me know and I think because of that I was ready to let go. The pain stung for a moment and I needed time to myself, but I wasn't going to let it rule my life. Besides, I know there is something else out there. I know there is someone who is ready and who will not shut me out.

My heart is opening and I am ready to really feel this time. Sometimes I think we make things up in our head and we twist ourselves to become someone we think that person wants. We play with little moments and aggrandize them in our heads. We even encounter glaring red flags and convince ourselves that it will be ok. I was lost in a fog for nearly four months, but now I see ahead of me as I walk out of the mists of darkness.

One of the moments that struck home for me was when Rachel and Finn are in the sick room. Rachel talks to Finn about Quinn and how much prettier she is. Part of my recent experience involved another girl. I struggled to realize what it was that she had that I didn't have. Why couldn't he just commit to me?

Then one day I encountered a quote that said, "Stop asking yourself what others have that you don't and instead focus on what it is that they are missing about you." That changed my outlook on the whole "relationship" and I told myself I could live with it until he figured it out. But I was totally lying to myself. Sometimes we think that lying to ourselves it will make everything else go away, but it only gets us into more trouble and causes that much more pain.

In the episode Rachel asks Finn if he saw fireworks when he kissed Quinn. He didn't even have to answer before she knew, his body language said it all. With this person I put it out there and he said that no matter what happens right now he will continue to date the other girl. He chose her the first time and I was stupid to think it would be different a second time around.

While I ended up on the short end again, I have found a strength to move on this time. My goals are set before me and I am on a run to get there. The episode ends with Rachel singing Firework and with a determination to move on and pursue her dreams. I first heard this song when it was shared by my dearest friend. She wrote:

"People are coming back and almost adopting it as their own anthem, and it's hard, I think, to write an anthem that's not cheesy, and I hope that this could be something in that category. I hope this could be one of those things where it's like, 'Yeah, I want to put my fist up and feel proud and feel strong. But I also don't want to be cheesy, it's a fine line, and I think 'Firework' ... would be like the opus or my one song — if I had to pick a song to play — 'cause it has a great beat. But it also has a fantastic message."

The episode makes a perfect wrap from talking about how divas made their name on their own, and in the end that is Rachel's determination. No one can make us happy, only we can make ourselves happy. There are decisions we make in life that bring unhappiness, but that doesn't mean we can't find it again once we have freed ourselves from the harmful situation.

"Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it."

~ Groucho Marx 

So, go out and sing silly love songs. Turn up the volume and dance with your mop. Today you have the power to make you happy!

Day 8: A Reflection

The old Creole proverb says, "Tell me who you love and I will tell you who are." Our first commandment is to love God with all we have, then to love our neighbor. What kind of love do you reflect?

Day 7: The Little Things

“I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

~ Maya Angelou

I believe life is in the details. Ongoing small gestures can mean so much more than one grand display of love. Simple pleasures throughout the day can be far more gratifying that one amazing weekend. When you connect the dots between all these little joys, life seems fuller and more satisfying.

The details of life are where the magic lies. So often we get caught up in work - putting in the extra hours, pitching for that promotion, worrying about deadlines, office politics or how to get more clients. The hours get sucked away. Finally, we switch that channel off, only to start thinking about our goals or personal dramas.

We think and strive and worry and complain - stuck on the idea that if we only had MORE we would be satisfied. More time. More achievements. More freedom. More money. More. More. More. More. More.

I know I’m not alone in saying I want to do a lot with my life. I think I already have. But there is much more I would like to achieve and experience, and sometimes I get caught up in that wanting and planning and the need to “make it happen”. So much so that I lose all sense of time and perspective. Add to that my always thinking, plotting writer’s mind, and it’s fair to say most days pink elephants could tango across my lawn and I really wouldn’t notice. But we need the little things. We need balance.

I’ve created a list of all the little things that fill me with bliss. Here’s what I’ve got so far (certainly in no particular order):

1. Breakfast in bed. You don’t need someone to bring it to you—just make it and then curl back up with your duvet!

2. Cuddling in bed in the morning. A body pillow isn’t quite the same as someone you love, but sometimes it just feels good to hold something in your arms.

3. A smile from a stranger; give one and you may get one.

4. Children playing, reminding you to be joyful. Pass the park on the way home.

5. A small gesture of kindness from someone who loves you. The remote control your husband handed over—now that’s love.

6. Your music, when you want it. Pull out your iPod and enjoy.

7. An outdoor lunch. Nothing invigorates a day like the feeling of sunlight on your face.

8. Five minutes of deep breathing.

9. An embrace that lasts just a little longer than usual. Give someone an uncomfortably long hug today!

10. A small victory. Can you fix that leaky faucet on your own?

11. A small change to your routine to make your day feel exciting.

12. An opportunity to be creative. Don’t wait for one—make one. Start a journal or a scrapbook, or get creative a routine task at work to make it more exciting.

13. A snack or beverage you savor. You know how that girl in the commercial seems to get way too much pleasure from a foamy latte she made at home? That girl could be you.

14. The moment after the rain stops. Everything smells clean, fresh, and revitalized.

15. A deep stretch. The benefits of loosening your muscles exceed enhanced relaxation.

16. A beautiful sunset or sunrise. Nothing is more inspirational than tuning into nature’s majesty.

17. Playing a game you loved as a child. Pull out Candyland and tap into the simplicity of childhood.

18. An extra half-hour of sleep. Hit the sack a little earlier one night and see how this changes your day.

19. A spa-like shower experience.

20. A thoughtful question from a friend. When they asks, “What’s your favorite childhood memory?” they are trying to learn what makes you happy. How beautiful that they care to know.

21. Fresh, organic food. Organic food has higher nutrient levels and lower pesticide residues—and it often tastes better than non-organic food.

22. A 5-minute massage. Ask your husband/wife/boyfriend/girlfriend to trade. Or if you’re single, get a spa pedicure in one of those amazing massage chairs.

23. A long phone conversation, like you used to have in junior high. Curl up with your cell, call a dear friend, and start reminiscing.

24. 10 minutes with an animal. Petting an animal is actually quite meditative. If you don’t have a pet, head to your local dog park and make a new furry friend.

25. An extra dollar in your pocket. Bring lunch from home and put your usual lunch money aside for a rainy day.

26. Finding money you didn’t know you had. Leave a ten in your coat pocket and then forget about it. In the future you will be pretty psyched.

27. Receiving a hand-written letter. Become a pen pal—even if it’s to someone you know in person—so you can both give and receive non-e-communication.

28. A sweater straight from the dryer on a cold day. If you can push a button, this simple pleasure can be yours at any time.

29. A smell that evokes a visceral reaction. Does lemon pie make you think of your grandmother? Head over to the bakery and lurk.

30. Something so funny it makes you laugh out loud…not in LOL form.

31. Feeling someone take your hand in theirs. There’s something blissfully intimate and meaningful about holding hands. Reach out and touch someone. (Cue the music.)

32. A book you’ve been dying to read. Amazon’s calling your name.

33. Watching your child learn from watching you. It’s touching how they looks at you for cues on who to be.

34. An itch you can actually reach. I adore my wooden back scratcher.

35. A new recipe that comes out perfectly. Ask your friend for one of her favorites.

36. A home remedy that works better than the store-bought solution.

37. The feeling of sand between your toes. If you live near a beach, set aside some time to walk it.

38. Flowers you didn’t expect. OK, you can’t really make this one happen. But you can “surprise” yourself with a bouquet whenever you want.

39. A small gesture of support. A hand on your lower back. A tight squeeze of your hand before you get up for your speech. Four simple words: “I believe in you.” Minor actions, huge impact.

40. Extending a small courtesy and watching the effect. Hold the door for someone or thank them for something most people wouldn’t notice.

41. Crossing things off your to-do list.

42. Contageous laughter

43. Midnight snacks

44. The new car smell

45. The first hug from someone you haven't seen in a long time.

46. Eating cookie dough.

47. Fallin asleep to the sound of rain.

48. Accents.

49. A full tank of gas.

50. When someone plays with your hair =D

The list can go on and on. Have anything to add?

Day 6: Silence

"The earth is rude, silent, incomprehensible at first; Be not discouraged — keep on — there are divine things, well envelop'd; I swear to you there are divine things more beautiful than words can tell." 


~Walt Whitman

I love this man. He was controversial in his writings and in his lifestyle, however he shared many valuable lessons with us. I remember the first poem I heard by him was Oh Captain! My Captain! while watching Dead Poets Society. Maybe I had heard his works before, but that was the first time a remember one of his poems.


There is something to be said for silence. It often denotes the amount of comfort we have with someone. Being a teacher has told me silence is not always a bad thing, but a time for reflection, observation, and rumination. 


I remember many times when I have been with people and we sit in silence. We are comfortable. The other night I was in the kitchen cooking and cleaning, and I sat in semi-silence with someone. I didn't feel a pressure that we had to be talking all the time, but that when the time was write conversation occurred.


Silence also gives time for people to put their thoughts together. While we may be ready to talk about something, others are not. Here there are two choices: Push for the answers, or leave it be until the person is ready. 


My mind is inquisitive and wants to know everything now. I often find myself the former, pushing for the answers in the moment I want them. A lot of times I get them, but it puts undo strain on the relationship. Sometimes I wake up in time to realize I need to leave it alone, and later I receive the answer in its best and purest form. And then there are times I have to concede and realize I may never know, or there may possibly be a day in the future I will understand. 


Thomas Carlyle, another great writer, wrote, "Under all speech that is good for anything there lies a silence that is better. Silence is deep as Eternity; speech is shallow as Time." The thoughts, feelings, and Conversations we have in the hallways of our inner silence will find their way to our hearts. Whereas the things of speech are often shallow and said in moments of fire.

Those who are at most peace with themselves, know their answers come when their lives are still. "Great souls endure in silence," said philosopher Friedrich Schiller. 

Day 5: Loyalty

“Even though we've changed and we're all finding our own place in the world, we all know that when the tears fall or the smile spreads across our face, we'll come to each other because no matter where this crazy world takes us, nothing will ever change so much to the point where we're not all still friends.”

I watched this movie today and fell in love with it. Yes, it is a cheesy Hallmark movie, but I have to say it pulled at my heart strings. When I watched this segment I knew this is what I would write about today ...

Loyalty is a huge thing for me in my life. Maybe that is why animals and I get along so well. Once upon a time in my life I wanted to be a Veterinarian. It seemed like a natural fit where I was so interested in medicine and love animals.

There are so many redeeming qualities in an animal. One of them is that when you love them, they will love you back. They can sense your love or your disdain for them; they can sense your love or your fear; they can sense your love or your pain.

I am fiercely loyal to the people in my life. Sometimes it gets me in trouble and sometimes it pays off. But I say it is a necessary quality to have. If you aren't willing to stand up for and by the side of those decisions you make in your life, then what is it all for?

Winnie the Pooh said, "If you live to be 100, I hope I live to be 100 minus 1 day, so I never have to live without you.”

The other night I was speaking with a friend and we were talking about how he is the kind of person who will go to hell and back for a girl and for those he loves. Then we got to talking that it should be that way on both sides. For someone you love, you should be willing to do whatever it is in order to keep promises made or to help those around you. Perhaps that begins to scratch the surface of what Christlike love is.

“Don't ask me to leave you and turn back. I will go where you go and live where you live. Your people will be my people, and your God will be my God.” How has loyalty affected either your ability or inability to love? Something to chew on :)

This is just a side note, but it comes from the movie Dreamer and I liked it:

"You are a great champion. When you ran, the ground shook. The sky opened and mere mortals parted. Parted the way to victory where you will meet me in the winners circle where I will put a blanket of flowers on your back."

Day 4: ... and it's RED

Today is National Wear Red Day to help promote heart health for women. According to the CDC, it is the #1 killer of women 20 and older making that about one every minute. It also resonates with me because heart disease is something that runs in my family. 

Another reason I choose to share this today is because I believe our ability to love others stems strongly in how much we love ourselves. Showing love or ourselves comes in many forms, and health is one of the strong indicators. There are many statements such as, "You are what you eat", "If you eat junk, you'll feel like junk", "If you choose to do lazy you will look lazy", and the list goes on. 

Facts shared by the CDC give some interesting insight into how we view our personal health:

• Heart disease is the leading cause of death for women in the United States. In 2006, 315,930 women died from it.
• Heart disease killed 26% of the women who died in 2006—more than one in every four.
• Although heart disease is sometimes thought of as a "man's disease," around the same number of women and men die each year of heart disease in the United States. Unfortunately, 36% of women did not perceive themselves to be at risk for heart disease in a 2005 survey.
• Heart disease is the leading cause of death for women of most racial/ethnic groups in the United States, including African Americans, American Indians or Alaska Natives, Hispanics, and whites. For Asian American women, heart disease is second only to cancer.
• In 2006, about 6.9% of all white women, 8.8% of black women, and 6.6% of Mexican American women were living with coronary heart disease.
• Almost two-thirds of the women who die suddenly of coronary heart disease have no previous symptoms. Even if you have no symptoms, you may still be at risk for heart disease.

* For this fact sheet, the term "heart disease" refers to several different types of heart conditions. In the United States, the most common type is coronary artery disease, also known as coronary heart disease.

There are three statistics that stick out to me: First, nearly 36% of women did not see themselves at risk for heart disease; secondly, nearly 25% of women are living with a coronary disease; and lastly, two-thirds of the women who die suddenly have no previous symptoms. Wow!

To address the first number, do we often see ourselves as invincible? I am 28 years old and when I get sick I don't go to the doctor. It is taken care of with self-medication. I also haven't had a physical since before my mission. After my mission is when I started seeing a "female doctor". I also ballooned a whopping 30 pounds between graduation and my mission. What does that tell others about how much I love my body?

Secondly, how many things do we choose to live with? I know my mother has been under some serious scrutiny from her doctors to get her health under control. She has medications, she has a health plan she needs to live by, and yet she is too busy to do any of it. I heard a quote once that said we either get busy living, or get busy dying. What are the things you are choosing to live with that you could fix and help you become a healthier, more beautiful you?

Third, how aware are we of our bodies. While there may have been no symptoms in these women, they had to have known something was wrong. And while they may have had no previous symptoms, I would be willing to bet they weren't in the best of health. Are there preventative things we can be doing in our own lives to ensure we are not dying an early death?

According to the American Heart Association more than 90% of women have one of more of the risk factors involving heart disease. This includes you. Yes you. The person staring at this screen right now.

We need to learn to love ourselves and those around us enough to be healthy. This health includes mental, physical, spiritual, etc. Carl Jung the Swiss psychiatrist wrote, "The most terrifying thing to do is to accept oneself completely." Often this is where the first step comes. When we accept ourselves and our personal flaws, we are able to take the blinders off and see where were can make improvements.

Learn to love yourself. Upon doing that you will find an unimaginable amount of live swirling around you. Learn to love yourself. Doing this will help you to have an open heart to others.

In the meantime, go to Go Red for Women. There you will find many tools to help you get on a heart-healthy track. Love yourself and others around you enough to take care of yourself.

Day 3: Choices

"You always have a choice. It's just that some people make the wrong one," wrote Nicholas Sparks in a novel. This comes from the author who is famous for writing books that require some kind of choice on the part of the main character. Life is full of choices we need to make, and sometimes we don't take the right path.

These photos visually explain the turmoil we go through sometimes. Do I go this way? Do I go that way? Ahh! What do I do?? ... And then there are people in our lives who are helping to give us direction ...

I remember as a child going to California. It may have been one of our cheerleading "family vacations" or some other reason we were going. But the photo of the freeway reminds me of the time we were driving down the freeway and trying to get somewhere. Steve "used to live here" and "I know where I am going." It was a very interesting, tense experience to say the least.

In my naive youth, I held on to the map and quietly said, "We're not going the right way." To which the response was, "I know where I am going!" I shared again that we needed to turn around because our exit had passed. To which I got another reply that basically I didn't know what I was talking about. The tension in the car was so thick you could cut it with a knife.

Well, about 30 minutes later he admitted I was right. We had been driving all over the freeways of Los Angeles lost because he wasn't willing to listen. I had never been to LA, but I had a map. How often do we have a map but we aren't willing to look at it? Or listen to those who have it in their hands?

I share this experience because about 18 years later I was faced with the same experience. This time I was in San Antonio, TX. We were going to the Alamo. I shared that we had missed our exit and the person I was with basically told me I didn't know what I was talking about. 

Feeling like I was back in that rental car in LA 18 years earlier, I shut down. I let him navigate and go where he thought he knew was right. Again, I let about 30 minutes pass before I said, "I know you said you know where you are going, but our exit was x-miles back."

He turned the conversation on me and asked why I didn't say something ... Really?? I told him I did and that his response didn't make me want to push the situation. I further explained to him that I lived in a life for 16 years of that kind of response and that I wasn't going to put up with it in my own life.

So, what does this have to do with "love"? 

In our lives we encounter people who want to help us. They have a map, or they have recently been down the road. Are we willing to listen, to receive the help? Often love comes in humbling ourselves enough to listen to others, even if they appear to have no experience. 

There are enough choices to make in this life and we are not expected to navigate this life alone. Our Heavenly Father's plan includes families so that we not only have a support system, but help in navigating this life. 

Perhaps one of the most humbling choices in life comes from the Savior and his Atonement. He knew that we would take wrong turns, miss the exit, fall on our face, and be hurt. Through Him we can always get back on track; through Him we can not only live again physically, but spiritually. Our Savior made the ultimate choice so each of us could have the hope of a better world. But will we follow Him?

Today I came across another song. It was written in ca.1913 by Charles Austin Miles. He too had a choice to make. Miles actually studied pharmacy and abandoned that career to become editor and manager at Hall-Mack Publishers after writing his first gospel song. He later said, "It is as a writ­er of gos­pel songs I am proud to be known, for in that way I may be of the most use to my Mas­ter, whom I serve will­ing­ly al­though not as ef­fi­cient­ly as is my de­sire."

Enjoy this song as you ponder on the lasting consequences of choice. Are we being efficient with the talents and time God gives us each day on this earth? Are we doing the little things to help those around us feel the Christlike love we have for them? Elder D. Todd Christofferson said:

"Thinking of our daily bread keeps us aware of the details of our lives, of the significance of the small things that occupy our days. Experience teaches that in a marriage, for example, a steady stream of simple kindnesses, help, and attention do much more to keep love alive and nurture the relationship than an occasional grand or expensive gesture. That is not to say, brethren—you who are married—that your wife wouldn’t appreciate something new and really nice to wear or occasionally some other gift that expresses, with an exclamation point, how you feel about her (within the parameters, of course, of your miserable budget). It’s just that a constant, daily expression of affection, in both words and actions, is far more meaningful in the long run" (italics added).

May our choices reflect the love we have in our hearts for those in our lives.