Wendy's Desk

I am chilling on the NiPox shift tonight and staring at things that are at Wendy's desk. She has a lot of quotes and I wanted to share some of them with you:

"Though we travel the world over to find the beautiful, we must carry it with us or we find it not."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Taking pictures is savoring life intensely, every hundreth."
- Marc Riboud

"The penalty for refusing to participate in politics is you end up being governed by your inferiors."
- Plato

"The secret to success is:
Find out where the people are going and get there first."
- Mark Twain

"When once you have tasted flight,
you will forever walk the earth
with your eyes turned skyward,
for there you have been, and there
you will always long to return."
- Leonardo da Vinci

Ugly Betty

I am not sure why this show catches my attention, or why I am drawn to watch it. There is something about Betty Suarez that I connect with.

Betty is this sweet spirited misfit in the middle of fashion's hottest. She works so hard to get people to like her and there is so much she stands to learn about the big bad world. Betty is highly intelligent and yet so naive...

Tonight I watched two episodes online and there were some things that caught my attention.

In the first episode I watched, the Christmas photo spread is leaked and Betty was part of it. She is forced to stay quiet by two co-workers who value their jobs at Mode Magazine more than ethics. As she struggles with this, she tries to tell Daniel (her boss) that she was part of the leak. He tells her he doesn't want to know because he would rather have her at the office than fired.

A long the way, several people tell Betty that sometimes it is OK to keep secrets. She struggles with this (and I admire her courage).

In one scene, she is in the kitchen with her father. He tells her, "You know, Betty, sometimes we have to keep secrets to stay alive."

I thought about this for a minute and wondered if that were necesarily true. For Betty, it has proven to be her savior when she tells the truth and faces reality. I believe that for most of us, that is true and the way it should be.

The episode goes further with the closing scene when Vivian says, "Snow is a magical blanket. It hides what's ugly and makes everything beautiful."

What do you think about this?

In the second episode, Betty is struggling between Walter (who cheated on her and begged to have her back) and Henry (the accounting nerd at Mode). Both have great qualities. Both are stand-up guys.

What Betty is struggling with is Walter is her first and Henry is this guy who comes along at the wrong time (because Betty started dating Walter again). She talks to the wardrobe lady about her dilema and is really frustrated.

What caught my attention is the advice Betty was given, "Butterflies don't mate for life."

I think sometimes we get caught up in that first special person in our life and refuse to look beyond them. It is important that we get out there and "flit" around.

Too, just because one person flies away doesn't mean that life is over. There will be someone else out there who is greater and will be better in your life. Don't get stuck on that one person knowing that you can, and deserve, better.

Suapai, AZ

What an incredible trip!

We started off on Tuesday south toward Arizona. I got to Jeff's house about 30 min late because of a wreck on I-15. Anyhow, it was ok because we set off and things were great.

Jeff and I chatted, things were good and we looked forward to a great trip. Being that I did not get much sleep the night before, I crashed just after Vegas. I was awake long enough to cross the Hoover Dam (no, we didn't take a dam tour, any dam pictures or ask any dam questions...).

We got to Havasupi Hilltop around 5 p.m., threw our bags on our backs and started down the eight mile trail. The first mile consists of one mile of downhill switchbacks, and I mean downhill. On the way we met these guys who said we were going to have another 2.5 hrs ahead of us. We thought we were really in for it.

We cruised along at about 5 mph and at 7:30 p.m. MST it was too dark to continue walking. Crazy me forgot her head lamp and so Jeff was the only one with light, with the exception of my cell phone. We pitched camp, Jeff built a fire (which was a no-no) and we lit the stove to make dinner.

The next morning we got up and started walking, thinking there was a long ways ahead of us. We encountered the supply train on the way in and Jeff went chasing after the guy and his mules for about 0.5 miles. Somehow, we thought that it might be the only time we saw the train. Little did we know that we would see another six trains that same day, and each day Monday through Friday.

Anyhow, it took us 30 minutes to get in to town. The guys we encountered were off their rockers. We finished the 8 mile journey in 2.5 hours (which we were told was pretty dang fast).

As we walked in to town, it was beautiful. Supai sits in the bottom of the Grand Canyon and it is such a contrast. Walking further in to the city, we saw a church and realized it was an LDS church. There was a missionary couple sitting on the front porch who waved at us. Jeff and I looked at each other and decided we would go say hello.

It was that salutaion that made the difference in our whole trip. Amazing how the Lord blessed us and opened doors for us. Elder and Sister Jasper introduced us to a sister, who then introduced us to many other people.

Keep in mind this tribe is super media shy. We were bitting our fingernails thinking we would have to come back to SLC with our tails between our legs. However, because of the Lord's blessings we have great photos and a great story (I just have to write it now).

Carol Rogers was our poc. She was shy at first, but wonderful at introducing us to everyone. What a sweet spirit.

As we were talking with the missionaries, they informed us of many events going on that day. It provided many great opportunities for photos. We took some portraits, a school parade and encountered many other great people.

Jeff and I went in to town and never made it to the camp ground to drop our stuff off. In the end, we left our packs at the church because we would be going back that way later in the day.

In town, we chilled for roughly two hours on a bench in front of the cafe. It was great to sit and observe people, how they interacted and the strange tourists that found their way to Supai. We also got hailed on, which was interesting to see how quickly the weather can change.

There was this one couple. They had to be European. The guy was wearing these hot pink and navy blue short shorts (which he shouldn't have been wearing), and the girl was in white 3/4 pants and shoes. This place is full of dirt, red clayey dirt. Holy cow... It just amazes me how people dress for certain occassions.

Then there was Fonsi. He stood in front of the grocery store, hat on crooked, headphones on and he was talking to himself and the dog in front of him. Jeff and I came to the conclusion that he was not mentally well. It was interesting to watch him yell at the dog and walk around nervously.

Jeff and I left town a little later than planned and hiked to the campground in the dark. Pitching camp I was so tired. My feet were tired from walking all day and my back was feeling the weight of my over-packed backpack.

The next morning we got up and hiked to the falls. We got to two of the four (Havasu and Mooney Falls). We tried to get to Beaver Falls, but we could not find it. Navajo Falls got passed up as we were hiking out because we were leaving later than planned.

The falls are gorgeous. However, I came to the determination that the best time to shoot them is during the afternoon/evening because you get more light.

The hike out was the killer. It took us 3.5 hrs to get out and during the last 1.5 miles I had to keep telling myself to put one foot in front of the other. My back was dying as I struggled up the hill. My knee and ankle were also giving me grief...

The trip was great and you will have to read the story when it comes out. I am not sure I will be able to do the tribe justice, but I am going to certainly try. When I get a chance, I will also throw some photos on here as well...

Guilt

"either let the guilt throw you back in to the behavior that got you in to trouble in the first place, or learn from the guilt and move on."
- Meradith Grey, Grey's Anatomy

When do things change?

"Enough! This is not dating! I want moonlight and flowers and candy and people trying to feel me up. Nobody is trying to feel me up. Nobody is even looking at me... Do the two of you have any idea of how much effort it takes to do all of this? I'm waxed and plucked and I have a clean top on... No talking until one of you figures out how to put on a date. I want heat, I want romance, damnit I want to feel like a freaking lady!"
- Meradith Grey, Grey's Anatomy

Elle and I had an interesting conversation yesterday.

I was driving home from Logan after watching Extreme Makeover: Home Edition demolish a house. She called me for one thing and we talked about another.

When you are with someone, what happens to going out on a date? Things normally start off good when people are figuring out if they like the other person or not. To woo that person, there is dating, semi-deep conversations, etc. Then as things progress, the dating is exchanged for a thing called "hanging out." Such an activity results in things like this, this, and this. Not that any of these things are bad, however you will notice none of these activities are lending to pairing off and conversing.

One of my favorite CES Fireside talks came when I was seeing a boy who seemed to think that dating wasn't necessary for us because we had been together for so long. It was such a disfunctional, non-progressive situation and there were many times I wanted to scream because there wasn't dating, which to me is a sign that you want to do something out of the ordinary and spend some quality time together.

By quality time, I mean going out and doing something together that you both enjoy. It doesn't have to cost a dime, but you are learning about each other and sharing your lives and interests.

I believe that if you fall out of the habit of going out on dates when you are in a relationship, you will not carry that into your marriage. If this practice is not carried into a marriage, the relationship will become stagnant and will be heading for trouble.

In The Dedication of a Lifetime Elder Dallin H. Oaks said:
"Knowledgeable observers report that dating has nearly disappeared from college campuses and among young adults generally. It has been replaced by something called "hanging out" ... Unlike hanging out, dating it not a team sport. Dating is pairing off to experience the kind of one-on-one association and temporary commitment that can lead to marriage, in some rare and treasured cases ... Marriage is not a group activity - at least not until the children come along in goodly numbers."

Elder Oaks then goes on to talk about some contributing factors of the extinction of dating.

1. The cultural tides in our world run strongly against commitments in family relationships ... Whatever draws us away from commitments weakens our capacity to participate in the plan. Dating involves commitments, if only for a few hours. Hanging out requires no commitments ...

2. The leveling effect of the women's movement has contributed to discourage dating. Women have become more aggressive and some men have become reluctant to ask girls out on dates.

3. Hanging out is glamorized on TV programs about singles.

4. The meaning and significance of a "date" has also changed in such a way as to price dating out of the market ... The more elaborate and expensive the date, the fewer dates. As dates become fewer and more elaborate, this seems to create an expectation that a date implies seriousness or continuing commitment.
"Gone is the clumsy and inexpensive phone call your parents and grandparents and I used to make. That call went something like this: "What're ya doing tonight? How about a movie?" Or, "How about tkaing a walk downtown?" Cheap dates like that can be frequent and nonthreatening, since they don't seem to imply a continuing commitment ...
"The old-fashioned date was a wonderful way to get aquainted with a member of the opposite sex. It encouraged conversation. It allowed you to see how you treat others and how you are treated in a one-on-one situation. It gave opportunities to learn how to initiate and sustain a mature relationship. None of that happens in hanging out."

As girls, our expecations are not high that we always do something that costs money or that requires something extravagant.

I remember one of my favorite dates. It happened in September (yes, I have gone out on one somewhat recently) and I had no idea what we would be doing. We drove to the top of a mountain and cooked dinner over a Coleman stove. It was simple and fun. I had a good time and it was quite the adventure. In fact, all of my dates that I have enjoyed most have been simple and fun.

"Young women, resist too much hanging out, and encourage dates that are simple, inexpensive, and frequent. Don't make it easy for young men to hang out in a setting where you women provide the food. Don't subsidize freeloaders. An occasional group activity is okay, but when you see men who make hanging out their primary interaction with the opposite sex, I think you should lock the pantry and bolt the front door.
"If you do this, you should also hang out a sign, "Will open for individual dates," or something like that. And, young women, please make it easier for these shy males to ask for a simple, inexpensive date."

As Meradith put it so well, "I'm waxed and plucked and I have a clean top on... No talking until one of you figures out how to put on a date. I want heat, I want romance, damnit I want to feel like a freaking lady!"

N.Y. Times Quote of the Day

"No matter how healthy it is, if kids don't like it they're not going to eat it."
JULIE CRITCHLOW, a mother, on efforts to serve healthier lunches at British schools.

Do you remember school lunch??? Ugh!

It was, "line up in alphabetical order" (which didn't matter much to me, unless it was the days we went by first name), "stand still," "don't talk," blah, blah, blah... Then you got to the window. Grandmas (who seemed ancient to one in elementary) dress in white uniforms, hair strapped back with a hair net and grumpy grunts as they litteraly slapped pre-cooked food onto a green plasti-tray.

I am still smell the french fry grease and the distinct smell of chicken nuggets as they came out of the oven on 3ftx3ft trays. This was the day we looked forward to. We also loved Friday's when they brought Pizza Hut pizza in.

It was the days that cooked spinach, anything pasta or anything else that didn't fit into the category of chicken nuggets or pizza that I dreaded. It was grose... Maybe the equivalent of bad conference food... No matter how healthy you tell me it is, the green plasti-tray will come back to you will food on it.

Random thoughts for Saturday

I am listening to this talk on tape and learning a lot in the process (I would imagine that was the point...). It is called "For All Eternity." Although, I am thinking it may not be the best name for the book.

I am learning more about communication patterns than I am about eternal marriage.

At the beginning there was a phrase that struck me: "Communication is an exhange of understanding."


This is so true, because we have ears and can be gabbing all we want, but the other person may not be getting it. There is an interesting medical stat that accompanies this:

A man will engage in 7,000 communication skills a day. They have an efficiency issue with words (i.e. say what you need to say in as few words as possible).

A woman will use 21,000 communication skills a day. Holy cow! Gab, gab, gab... There is also an internalization that goes on. Women think about everything. For example, their significant other says, "I like that red dress." Girl thinks: "Should I get a red dress?" "Would he like me more if I wore red?" "I should wear more red." on and on and on... This is the mind of women guys.

So, women gab, gab, gab and the man still may not understand what she wants to say. It is only when there is understanding on both sides, dual communication, that effective communication takes place. "Just because people talk and listen doesn't mean they're communicating," said Dr. Lund.

Building upon the gabbing, Dr. Lund said that men don't trust women and that is why they don't talk a lot. "Men are very cautious about sharing information."

This is one thing that I don't much understand. I have to work hard with my guy friends to get them to trust me to open up and talk. Normally, it is not very hard for me because they know I am not going to go out and tell everyone, let alone anyone. I think this is one of the reasons I am able to gain my sources trust so much.

There is so much that I know about people, I could have favors from now through the rest of my life. But that is not why i do it, nor how I intend to use it. I am the way I am because I have a sense of loyalty inside of me. I want people to trust me and know that I can trust them. In no moment do I ever intend to burn someone, because I know what it feels like with left over scars.

I think that if we could gain a certain amount of trust with one another, our lives would be much simpler. It is almost like establishing what is "on" and "off" the record. The old adage says it well: Loose lips sink ships.

Boys and Duct Tape

Have you ever wondered what happens when boys get together and think?

It is diasterous... No good comes of it... Beware!

One second everyone can be sitting in a circle on the living room floor chatting, then the next there is a girl struggling not to be bound by duct tape.

No one saw it coming.

Tiffany began to scream and struggle on the floor as Trevor, Nick and Marci's brother grabbed her legs and began to voraciously wrap the tape around them. It was smart to go for the dancer's legs first, being obviously more strong than her arms. But when she began to fight them with her arms, the boys quickly responded by binding her arms together.

You would think that the boys were done by now... NOT! Janenne was next to fall to the same fate. But the boys still were not done when they wrapped the girls together.

They had struggled so much against the boys that the duct tape began to role and make it even harder to get off. The boys knew what was happening and only laughed.

Their fun was a ruined when Dave pulled out his finger nail clippers and tried to free the girls. He was fortunate the boys did not turn on him.

In the middle of all of this I was taking pictures. However, I was also cognasant of what was around me. Somehow I knew I would not get off so easily when I saw Trevor look at me once. Thankfully, I was spared...

We seemed to be releasing the left over energy from our service scavenger hunt.

Our group had six people in it and it was a little strange to show up to someone's door and ask if we could do service at 8:30 p.m. So, we split the list and our group to finish quicker, and be less.

It was fun and we even hit Tiffany Allred's house to do some service. I haven't seen her since high school.

N.Y. Times Quote of the Day

"He proved the impossible: that the poor were bankable."
JONATHAN J. MORDUCH, an economics professor at New York University, on Muhammad Yunus, who won the Nobel Peace Prize for pioneering work in giving tiny loans to millions of poor people.

Favorite shots... thus far

These are a few of my favorite pictures I have encountered. There are litteraly hundreds more, but I wanted to share these right now.

What I Want

What do you want? Really, what do you want for you in your life? Have you really sat down to think about it? Not the stuff others think is best for you, but your desires.

Our desires can be very strong movers in our lives. They point us in the direction of what we do and what motivates us to move.

Lately, I have been thinking about what I want for my future family, the kind of example I will be for them, future responsibilities in the church and how my choices now will affect me later.

With some shame in me, I admit I have never really thought about those things. But now I look at my life and wonder how a decision will affect me later on. Who do I want to become? Who do I want my children to look up to? Am I being the person now that they will need me to be when I am their mother?

Often, we do not think about how who we are now will affect what kind of blessings we can have later on. It is amazing to think that everything is intertwined, and one decision will affect moany others.

Personally, I want to be the mother children feel they can talk to; that I never make them feel less than they are because of a small mistake. Together with my husband, I want my children to feel the love of Christ through me and be able to see His light because of who I am. I want us to teach our children the importance of obedience with exactness and to say, even as Nephi, "I must obey. Amen."

While on this earth, these children will be in our charge and it will be our responsibility to raise them with a knowledge that God exists and to be able to feel His endless love. What an amazing thought!

This, I believe, is why it is so important to find someone who will be your helpmeet, your equal. If we begin our marriage equally yoked, the burdens will be lighter and we will be much more successful in completing the commandments of God with exactness.

One righteous desire leads to make more.

Woman seeks Man