There are times in life when lessons come, whether hard or easy. You may bring them on yourself, or they may come as a surprise.
The lessons learned are interesting and oftentimes wonderful (if you look at it the right way). They teach us much about who we are and the people we associate ourselves with.
It is so intriguing how the Lord chooses to teach us. We are all unique and feel and learn in different ways. He knows that and is able to help us individually. I think this is one of the many things that amazes me about the gospel and about our Heavenly Father. He not only knows each of us individually, but he knows how to teach and guide us.
Recognizing how He does so will be ever so important in our future. President James E. Faust said in the January Ensign, "In the future the opposition will be more subtle and more open... We will need greater spirituality to perceive all of the forms of evil and greater strength to resist it."
While I was re-reading his talk there was something that stuck out to me. He said, "Satan became the devil by seeking glory, power, and dominion by force."
In thinking about this phrase, I think about the way we teach, especially our children. Are we teaching them? or are we trying to force them to do something?
This is the great difference between the plan of Jesus Christ and Satan's. Christ sought to teach us, Satan sought to force us. What are we doing in our lives?
Elder Jeffery R. Holland said, "For each of us to "come unto Christ," to keep His commandments and follow His example back to the Father is surely the highest and holiest purpose of human existence. To help others do that as well - to teach, persuade, and prayerfully lead them to walk that path of redemption also - surely that must be the second most significant task in our lives. Perhaps that is why President David O. McKay once said, "No greater responsibility can rest upon any man [or woman] than to be a teacher of God's children.""
We need each other to strengthen and teach.
Tonight I ran into an acquaintance. He was recently called to be a Gospel Doctrine Teacher. In the process of the conversation, he said he was intimidated because it was a class full of RM's and people who have roamed the earth lots longer than he has. I told him not to fret because it would be great preparation for his mission.
In that time, it came to me how sometimes we get comfortable in the gospel and stop remembering the basics. On the mission there are many people who think they know all the answers, and it is good for them to be taught by someone who may not be as versed. This helps us as members to remember the simple links that lead to the greater knowledge and the windows of heaven opening to us.
President Gordon B. Hinckley said, "Effective teaching is the very essence of leadership in the Church."
How important it is to allow us to be taught the important lessons in life, then in turn becoming as Nicodemus said to the Savior early in his ministry, "Rabbi, we know that thou art a teacher come from God."
Sunday, December 31, 2006
Friday, December 29, 2006
I wish
There I times I would like my verbal words to be as well placed as my written words.
Many times I say stupid things (like yesterday at work), but when I write things down the world seems to make more sense. There is something powerful and intriguing about words.
When I talk, not a whole lot makes sense. But when I write, the world opens before my eyes. I feel there is something I am better able to share when my fingers hit the keyboard or touch a pen to paper.
Or perhaps I wish I could express my feelings inside more effectively...
Many times I say stupid things (like yesterday at work), but when I write things down the world seems to make more sense. There is something powerful and intriguing about words.
When I talk, not a whole lot makes sense. But when I write, the world opens before my eyes. I feel there is something I am better able to share when my fingers hit the keyboard or touch a pen to paper.
Or perhaps I wish I could express my feelings inside more effectively...
Wednesday, December 27, 2006
Shut Your Eyes
Shut your eyes and think of somewhere
Somewhere cold and caked in snow
By the fire we break the quiet
Learn to wear each other well
And when the worrying starts to hurt
and the world feels like graves of dirt
Just close your eyes until
you can imagine this place, you're our secret space at will
Shut your eyes, I spin the big chair
And you'll feel dizzy, light, and free
And falling gently on the cushion
You can come and sing to me
And when the worrying starts to hurt
and the world feels like graves of dirt
Just close your eyes until
you can imagine this place, you're our secret space at will
Shut your eyes
Shut your eyes and sing to me (Shut your eyes and sing to me)
Somewhere cold and caked in snow
By the fire we break the quiet
Learn to wear each other well
And when the worrying starts to hurt
and the world feels like graves of dirt
Just close your eyes until
you can imagine this place, you're our secret space at will
Shut your eyes, I spin the big chair
And you'll feel dizzy, light, and free
And falling gently on the cushion
You can come and sing to me
And when the worrying starts to hurt
and the world feels like graves of dirt
Just close your eyes until
you can imagine this place, you're our secret space at will
Shut your eyes
Shut your eyes and sing to me (Shut your eyes and sing to me)
New Steps and raw emotions
The last few days have been a struggle for me. There are lots of new things that have been happening in my life and I have wanted someone to share them with.
The one person I wanted to spend time with for the holidays, I really couldn't and doors weren't opened that I could. I felt kind-of bad and I sat home Christmas night feeling sorry for myself while everyone else went out.
I started a new job on Tuesday and it was a nice distraction from everything that I was feeling. The hard part is when I come home to my family. There is nothing wrong with my family... It is just nice to talk to someone on your same thinking plane.
I looked forward to his call yesterday, but only got a text about New Years. On top of that I had to deal with my family asking about Christmas presents and their reaction.
I think their reaction was what got to me, because Christmas isn't about things. That is maybe the one thing I don't like about this time of year, because people are more focused on the physical and not the spiritual. Christmas is about a little baby boy being born to this earth who saved us from Hell. It was in those moments I wanted nothing more than for him to be there with me, and in reality, that is all I wanted for Christmas.
What is happening to me? Not being able to see him or really talk to him has been hard. He has also been distant when he does text me.
I have never really experienced these feelings and I don't know what is going through his mind, if anything, because he won't talk to me. Maybe he doesn't want to... I want to know him, but maybe that isn't enough.
Why do tears come to my eyes?
I have to be strong...
The one person I wanted to spend time with for the holidays, I really couldn't and doors weren't opened that I could. I felt kind-of bad and I sat home Christmas night feeling sorry for myself while everyone else went out.
I started a new job on Tuesday and it was a nice distraction from everything that I was feeling. The hard part is when I come home to my family. There is nothing wrong with my family... It is just nice to talk to someone on your same thinking plane.
I looked forward to his call yesterday, but only got a text about New Years. On top of that I had to deal with my family asking about Christmas presents and their reaction.
I think their reaction was what got to me, because Christmas isn't about things. That is maybe the one thing I don't like about this time of year, because people are more focused on the physical and not the spiritual. Christmas is about a little baby boy being born to this earth who saved us from Hell. It was in those moments I wanted nothing more than for him to be there with me, and in reality, that is all I wanted for Christmas.
What is happening to me? Not being able to see him or really talk to him has been hard. He has also been distant when he does text me.
I have never really experienced these feelings and I don't know what is going through his mind, if anything, because he won't talk to me. Maybe he doesn't want to... I want to know him, but maybe that isn't enough.
Why do tears come to my eyes?
I have to be strong...
Saturday, December 23, 2006
Words and Transitions
I find it interesting how one word can make a difference in a sentence or how you feel about something. In the last week I have been cognoscente about it and I have pondered on it.
Words are powerful. They have started and stopped wars; brought together and broken homes and friendships; brought new meaning to a book or experience; and many other things.
I find it interesting how small the vocabulary of society has gotten because of technology. We find less time to read because we are watching our favorite show, sports event or playing video games (although not a generalization because there are some who balance their time).
Ezra Loomis Pound, an American poet, critic and translator, once said, "Properly, we should read for power. Man reading should be man intensely alive. The book should be a ball of light in one's hand."
One day I want to have a library in my house. It will contain a variety of books and will also serve my family. I hope to instill a love of learning in my children that was instilled in me. It is so important to never stop learning.
Voltair said, "The instruction we find in books is like fire. We fetch it from our neighbors, kindle it at home, communicate it to others, and it becomes the property of all."
The knowledge we gain can be used for so much good. We don't all have the same talents and and we don't all have the same interest to research the same subjects. That is not to say we don't want to know about everything. So, as we study and gain knowledge, we are able to share pieces with others.
Our knowledge allows us to make those transitions in our lives more easily. With our knowledge we become valuable and indispensable.
Today is my last day at the Deseret Morning News. It has been a good experience and I am glad I have been able to work here.
The Lord has guided my path in every step. All the jobs I have had, there was something I was supposed to learn or experience. There are people I have met a long the way that have changed my life and given me cause for reflection.
On Tuesday I will make a transition into the real world. It will be my first contracted, full-time job ever. Over the years of my life I have gone from year to year, job to job, and have never really settled down anywhere.
This will be both a transition in my work career and in my life. It is a little nerve racking, but I have always been able to adapt and let my fear become a positive for me.
One thing that maybe makes me a little nervous is this will be another create-a-position job. I will also be working for a head-strong person who is used to having a lot of control. It will be a delicate balance of knowing how to take certain tasks away from him.
All in all I believe there will be some exciting changes in my life and in the future. I am learning a lot about myself, my weaknesses and areas I need to improve in to be the instrument the Lord needs me to be.
Words are powerful. They have started and stopped wars; brought together and broken homes and friendships; brought new meaning to a book or experience; and many other things.
I find it interesting how small the vocabulary of society has gotten because of technology. We find less time to read because we are watching our favorite show, sports event or playing video games (although not a generalization because there are some who balance their time).
Ezra Loomis Pound, an American poet, critic and translator, once said, "Properly, we should read for power. Man reading should be man intensely alive. The book should be a ball of light in one's hand."
One day I want to have a library in my house. It will contain a variety of books and will also serve my family. I hope to instill a love of learning in my children that was instilled in me. It is so important to never stop learning.
Voltair said, "The instruction we find in books is like fire. We fetch it from our neighbors, kindle it at home, communicate it to others, and it becomes the property of all."
The knowledge we gain can be used for so much good. We don't all have the same talents and and we don't all have the same interest to research the same subjects. That is not to say we don't want to know about everything. So, as we study and gain knowledge, we are able to share pieces with others.
Our knowledge allows us to make those transitions in our lives more easily. With our knowledge we become valuable and indispensable.
Today is my last day at the Deseret Morning News. It has been a good experience and I am glad I have been able to work here.
The Lord has guided my path in every step. All the jobs I have had, there was something I was supposed to learn or experience. There are people I have met a long the way that have changed my life and given me cause for reflection.
On Tuesday I will make a transition into the real world. It will be my first contracted, full-time job ever. Over the years of my life I have gone from year to year, job to job, and have never really settled down anywhere.
This will be both a transition in my work career and in my life. It is a little nerve racking, but I have always been able to adapt and let my fear become a positive for me.
One thing that maybe makes me a little nervous is this will be another create-a-position job. I will also be working for a head-strong person who is used to having a lot of control. It will be a delicate balance of knowing how to take certain tasks away from him.
All in all I believe there will be some exciting changes in my life and in the future. I am learning a lot about myself, my weaknesses and areas I need to improve in to be the instrument the Lord needs me to be.
A Night In Jail
A night in jail proves to be pretty boring... I don't know how people can stand it, or would go back after being there once... Argh!
Gingerbread Homes
YSA gingerbread house making activity
The coolest gingerbread house... and some frosting fighting...
The coolest gingerbread house... and some frosting fighting...
Friday, December 22, 2006
Expectations
It is funny how there are times when we expect people to do something; and when they don't we get miffed.
I was thinking about this earlier this week as I was making a bed at my grandma's house. It was a queen sized bed with lots of fluffy stuff, a real struggle.
As I was wrestling with the bedding, Trevor was playing games on the computer not a foot away. I thought to myself that he should get up and help, he should 'know' that I need help.
It was in that moment I had to chuckle because I thought about the movie "The Breakup." Jennifer Aniston's character expects her boyfriend to do all of these things and 'know' there are certain things you do to make other people happy.
I must admit I was annoyed by the movie because she expected him to have some kind of telepathic powers. Everything was his fault even though he didn't know what he was doing wrong. He wasn't being very nice and she was being stupid. It is a classic communication break-down scenario.
It only took me a short moment to realize I was being her. I had to change my thought process and realize I never asked him to help me; it wasn't something that was important to him in that moment; and I can expect that he has been raised the same way I have.
We all come from different stations in life. We don't know someone else has a need that needs to be fulfilled unless they say something.
Be careful of your expectations if you haven't talked about them; and when someone doesn't meet them, be patient and talk about it.
I was thinking about this earlier this week as I was making a bed at my grandma's house. It was a queen sized bed with lots of fluffy stuff, a real struggle.
As I was wrestling with the bedding, Trevor was playing games on the computer not a foot away. I thought to myself that he should get up and help, he should 'know' that I need help.
It was in that moment I had to chuckle because I thought about the movie "The Breakup." Jennifer Aniston's character expects her boyfriend to do all of these things and 'know' there are certain things you do to make other people happy.
I must admit I was annoyed by the movie because she expected him to have some kind of telepathic powers. Everything was his fault even though he didn't know what he was doing wrong. He wasn't being very nice and she was being stupid. It is a classic communication break-down scenario.
It only took me a short moment to realize I was being her. I had to change my thought process and realize I never asked him to help me; it wasn't something that was important to him in that moment; and I can expect that he has been raised the same way I have.
We all come from different stations in life. We don't know someone else has a need that needs to be fulfilled unless they say something.
Be careful of your expectations if you haven't talked about them; and when someone doesn't meet them, be patient and talk about it.
Friday, December 15, 2006
Want
What is it that makes us want something? What drives that desire?
I have been thinking about this today and things that have come up in my life. There are things I want so bad my teeth ache and other things I think I will be ready for at some point, just not right now.
This job I have been through the gauntlet for has consumed my thoughts to a degree. I felt good about it from the beginning and I continue to feel I would do well there. It is a strange phenomenon.
There are other things I have wanted that I will not discuss in detail here. Sometimes, I guess, it is that carnal person inside of us. Things get stirred up for us in our minds and one thing takes over another. It is during these times I have to keep my spiritual goals in mind.
I just have to remind myself of the scripture in Nephi that says to be carnally minded is death and to be spiritually minded is life eternal (the SMILE scripture).
I have been thinking about this today and things that have come up in my life. There are things I want so bad my teeth ache and other things I think I will be ready for at some point, just not right now.
This job I have been through the gauntlet for has consumed my thoughts to a degree. I felt good about it from the beginning and I continue to feel I would do well there. It is a strange phenomenon.
There are other things I have wanted that I will not discuss in detail here. Sometimes, I guess, it is that carnal person inside of us. Things get stirred up for us in our minds and one thing takes over another. It is during these times I have to keep my spiritual goals in mind.
I just have to remind myself of the scripture in Nephi that says to be carnally minded is death and to be spiritually minded is life eternal (the SMILE scripture).
Interview #3
I have made it through the gauntlet of interviews. The only thing that is in my way of finishing is a 5 foot gap to jump over and two swinging blades.
Scott Parson and Linda (John Parson's Asst.) were great to interview with. It was more of a conversation and I was in there about 30 min.
I found out I would be basically pioneering this position. Scott has never had an assistant before... But that is OK. Pioneering is not new to me.
When I was asked about office gossip, I had mentioned it was something that I am dealing with right now. Scott's eyes lit up and we chatted awhile about that. What was good is that is gave me a chance to show that I can be positive and politically correct.
My photography skills, Spanish skills and versatility all seemed to work in my favor. That ability to work across a broad spectrum of people I believe will play well for me.
The other thing that made me really happy is he said I did really well on my press release. I was hoping that would be the case because it was almost identical to his (although I had not seen it previously). Although, I must say I was a little nervous about it because there wasn't a lot of information.
At any rate, I felt good about it and that we all connected somehow. When I left Ryan had mentioned that I was in there a while. I hope that is a good thing, showing that the conversational interview was a success.
Scott Parson and Linda (John Parson's Asst.) were great to interview with. It was more of a conversation and I was in there about 30 min.
I found out I would be basically pioneering this position. Scott has never had an assistant before... But that is OK. Pioneering is not new to me.
When I was asked about office gossip, I had mentioned it was something that I am dealing with right now. Scott's eyes lit up and we chatted awhile about that. What was good is that is gave me a chance to show that I can be positive and politically correct.
My photography skills, Spanish skills and versatility all seemed to work in my favor. That ability to work across a broad spectrum of people I believe will play well for me.
The other thing that made me really happy is he said I did really well on my press release. I was hoping that would be the case because it was almost identical to his (although I had not seen it previously). Although, I must say I was a little nervous about it because there wasn't a lot of information.
At any rate, I felt good about it and that we all connected somehow. When I left Ryan had mentioned that I was in there a while. I hope that is a good thing, showing that the conversational interview was a success.
Tuesday, December 12, 2006
Versatility
Versatility is power; it is a key; it is what keeps life interesting.
I have always striven to gain this in my life. Constant learning is one way I have been able to do this. By keeping up on news, politics and talking with a wide variety of people, I am able to converse with a wide variety of people.
The difference between my father and mother is stark. It is a wonder they got together in the first place. My father is a down-to-earth, "I live life the way I want to", bucket of knowledge. Then there is my mother, who is city girl, moving up the corporate ladder, focus on what I have in front of me.
Between the two of them, I have learned a delicate balance between two worlds not many people experience. I can be out in a scrap yard shooting the bull with workers and later on be in a meeting with the Board of Trustees at a university talking about budgets and upcoming strategies.
If people can learn this balance, I believe they will have so much more advantage when it comes to getting a job. This is one of the reasons I have never had a problem finding a job. I can work and adapt anywhere.
Adaptation is also very important. Not every environment is the same, not all people (management, co-workers, professors, etc.) are the same. We all have our own quirks and things that are important to us. Bosses will have different demands; co-workers will have different expectations; and in order to make a more harmonious relationship, we need to learn about those things that make each person unique.
Many times, these things involve doing your homework. Find out about people. What are their interests? What things can they bring to the table? Or how can they become more of an asset?
In her book, 'Pitch Like A Girl', Ronna Lichtenberg said: "The more you understand about their background, their goals, and their challenges, the more clearly you'll be able to articulate what they stand to gain by supporting you. People pay more for ideas, products, and services that fit their needs precisely. The more you know about those needs, the better a tailor you can be."
She goes on to point out: "Sometimes... We don't want to have to adapt to their business style and pay attention to their business needs. Why can't they, for once, adapt to us, be sensitive to our needs?
"... [However,] You may give up feeling good and groovy in any given moment, but what you get back in the trade-off is worth it: some power and control in the professional situation."
(For any given situation, you can replace 'business' with whatever word suits you best.)
There are obviously benefits for doing your homework. It will get you ahead in whatever you are doing. And I don't mean ahead in the job, but it can get you ahead in personal relationships or other related things.
One example I have from a few months ago is an e-mail I got from a boy. I had met him two weeks previous. In that brief moment, we had a nice conversation. In the end, however, we walked away without exchanging phone numbers.
I thought about it briefly over the next few weeks and figured I wouldn't ever see him again. Then I got the e-mail. He was asking me out and I thought "What the heck? Why not?"
We set up a date and over the course a week, I did some research. Being a journalist I have access to some databases and I looked him up. Unfortunately, I didn't find any good dirt, but at least I knew I wasn't going out with some crazed serial killer.
Do your homework, you will have so much the advantage in things to come.
I have always striven to gain this in my life. Constant learning is one way I have been able to do this. By keeping up on news, politics and talking with a wide variety of people, I am able to converse with a wide variety of people.
The difference between my father and mother is stark. It is a wonder they got together in the first place. My father is a down-to-earth, "I live life the way I want to", bucket of knowledge. Then there is my mother, who is city girl, moving up the corporate ladder, focus on what I have in front of me.
Between the two of them, I have learned a delicate balance between two worlds not many people experience. I can be out in a scrap yard shooting the bull with workers and later on be in a meeting with the Board of Trustees at a university talking about budgets and upcoming strategies.
If people can learn this balance, I believe they will have so much more advantage when it comes to getting a job. This is one of the reasons I have never had a problem finding a job. I can work and adapt anywhere.
Adaptation is also very important. Not every environment is the same, not all people (management, co-workers, professors, etc.) are the same. We all have our own quirks and things that are important to us. Bosses will have different demands; co-workers will have different expectations; and in order to make a more harmonious relationship, we need to learn about those things that make each person unique.
Many times, these things involve doing your homework. Find out about people. What are their interests? What things can they bring to the table? Or how can they become more of an asset?
In her book, 'Pitch Like A Girl', Ronna Lichtenberg said: "The more you understand about their background, their goals, and their challenges, the more clearly you'll be able to articulate what they stand to gain by supporting you. People pay more for ideas, products, and services that fit their needs precisely. The more you know about those needs, the better a tailor you can be."
She goes on to point out: "Sometimes... We don't want to have to adapt to their business style and pay attention to their business needs. Why can't they, for once, adapt to us, be sensitive to our needs?
"... [However,] You may give up feeling good and groovy in any given moment, but what you get back in the trade-off is worth it: some power and control in the professional situation."
(For any given situation, you can replace 'business' with whatever word suits you best.)
There are obviously benefits for doing your homework. It will get you ahead in whatever you are doing. And I don't mean ahead in the job, but it can get you ahead in personal relationships or other related things.
One example I have from a few months ago is an e-mail I got from a boy. I had met him two weeks previous. In that brief moment, we had a nice conversation. In the end, however, we walked away without exchanging phone numbers.
I thought about it briefly over the next few weeks and figured I wouldn't ever see him again. Then I got the e-mail. He was asking me out and I thought "What the heck? Why not?"
We set up a date and over the course a week, I did some research. Being a journalist I have access to some databases and I looked him up. Unfortunately, I didn't find any good dirt, but at least I knew I wasn't going out with some crazed serial killer.
Do your homework, you will have so much the advantage in things to come.
200!
It is interesting to think that I have made 200 blog entries... I look back and some of them are interesting and others are a pitty-pot of sorts.
During the past week I have been thinking about what I could write about. I thought about writing some awe inspiring thing, but instead I have chosen to go with whatever comes out of my fingers.
There have been many changes in my life since I have started this blog, and I am sure there are many to come. Right now, I am content knowing that life is good. I have made many positive changes and I am looking forward to many more.
Last night I made scripture mags with Trevor's family. It was fun to share a few of my favorite scriptures. They are sending them to Jenny as part of her Christmas care package. Karlee was so happy that they made more than 20, so that Jenny can give them away to people.
While I was in the middle of my first, I got a call... It was the call from Staker|Parson... It was either good or bad and I feared the latter because Ryan hesitated a bit. In the end, however, he said that Scott Parson would like to meet with me! I was SO stoked. The third and final interview is on Thursday, 5 p.m. It is my last chance to grab his attention.
I am not sure why I have wanted this job so bad. Maybe because it is the first job I felt motivated and excited to apply for. It would be a great company and there are many positive changes that will be going on. I only hope that I can be a part of those...
I have been doing my research and getting ready to put my portfolio together. I need to have something to give him on Thursday that will give him a reason to want to hire me. They told me already that my photo experience is a plus. I also have versatility and a basic knowledge of construction stuff.
This time in my life is going well and I feel good about the things that are going on. There are some adjustments that need to be made, but those are kinks that can be worked out.
During the past week I have been thinking about what I could write about. I thought about writing some awe inspiring thing, but instead I have chosen to go with whatever comes out of my fingers.
There have been many changes in my life since I have started this blog, and I am sure there are many to come. Right now, I am content knowing that life is good. I have made many positive changes and I am looking forward to many more.
Last night I made scripture mags with Trevor's family. It was fun to share a few of my favorite scriptures. They are sending them to Jenny as part of her Christmas care package. Karlee was so happy that they made more than 20, so that Jenny can give them away to people.
While I was in the middle of my first, I got a call... It was the call from Staker|Parson... It was either good or bad and I feared the latter because Ryan hesitated a bit. In the end, however, he said that Scott Parson would like to meet with me! I was SO stoked. The third and final interview is on Thursday, 5 p.m. It is my last chance to grab his attention.
I am not sure why I have wanted this job so bad. Maybe because it is the first job I felt motivated and excited to apply for. It would be a great company and there are many positive changes that will be going on. I only hope that I can be a part of those...
I have been doing my research and getting ready to put my portfolio together. I need to have something to give him on Thursday that will give him a reason to want to hire me. They told me already that my photo experience is a plus. I also have versatility and a basic knowledge of construction stuff.
This time in my life is going well and I feel good about the things that are going on. There are some adjustments that need to be made, but those are kinks that can be worked out.
Saturday, December 09, 2006
Temple Square (round two)
Last night was fun and taxing at the same time. I have been burning the candle at both ends for a little too long and it is catching up with me. My CF may be coming back... When I am at work, I hit a wall in the afternoon and I can't hardly stay awake.
I stayed at work late since we were all meeting in Salt Lake to see the lights and watch the bell choir. We all met up at the Conference Center and people were late in arriving so we sat up in the mezzanine.
The bell choir was pretty cool as they flawlessly changed between keys and each one had its role. Toward the end it got hard to stay awake because it was nice just to sit and listen.
We left during the last number and headed over to see the lights. Trev's ward was meeting another ward at the pond so we waited for everyone to arrive. During that time Trev and Trav got a little crazy (what is new??) Any picture I have of them only scratches the surface of what was going on. I can't go anywhere with those two and not have a camera.
In addition to those two, Tyler was around and that just added to things. The three of them could be a lethal combination...
It was nice to walk around with Trev. The times were are in groups or with other people makes me appreciate the time we have alone even more. It is great to be with other people and interact and at the same time it is nice to just be.
The lights are pretty cool and the whole experience is amazing. There is a spirit on the Square that is so peaceful. I really like it there.
Fun pics
Time with Dad
Thanksgiving
Temple Square with the ward
Ward Activity at Nicklecaid
Fun times at my house
Thanksgiving
Temple Square with the ward
Ward Activity at Nicklecaid
Fun times at my house
Friday, December 08, 2006
Surprises
It is funny how certain music will put you in a mood. There is this hauntingly amazing soundtrack I found today that I want to buy. It is the music to The Fountain (the song that follows is part of it).
I have been thinking about different things and how much I like surprises. Being a simple girl, it doesn't take much to make me happy. One thing that made me happy lately was when I saw the words "I love you" written in the snow (then I ran at him, tackled him and smashed snow in his face... romantic eh?).
Surprises are one thing I really enjoy. There is that rush of not knowing. Although, my suspicious nature usually gets the better of me and I find things out before I am supposed to. Being observant is also something else that tends to kill my surprises...
Another one of my favorite surprises was a time someone left a flower, purple butterfly (my fav) and a note on my bed. She knew exactly what I needed at that time. I look at that butterfly and I am in awe of the servants Heavenly Father sends in my life.
I have been thinking about different things and how much I like surprises. Being a simple girl, it doesn't take much to make me happy. One thing that made me happy lately was when I saw the words "I love you" written in the snow (then I ran at him, tackled him and smashed snow in his face... romantic eh?).
Surprises are one thing I really enjoy. There is that rush of not knowing. Although, my suspicious nature usually gets the better of me and I find things out before I am supposed to. Being observant is also something else that tends to kill my surprises...
Another one of my favorite surprises was a time someone left a flower, purple butterfly (my fav) and a note on my bed. She knew exactly what I needed at that time. I look at that butterfly and I am in awe of the servants Heavenly Father sends in my life.
What if?
What if you could live forever? What if you could be with that one person through time and eternity?
It is a struggle many people have as they try to come to terms with life, love, death and rebirth. An endless search for that person who makes you complete. And once you have found that person, you want to hold on to them with everything you have.
In Chile, SA, they call it finding the other half of your orange (tu media naranja). While Pres. Spencer W. Kimball said there is no such thing as soul mates, I believe there are certain people were are ment to find in our lives. It may be that friend who gets you through a rough patch, a person who is in need or your eternal companion.
There are people who come into our lives and at one point we can't imagine a normal life without them. We try to see it, but nothing makes sense. The level of peace you feel in thinking about long term things makes it that much harder.
You look at that person across from you and you know the curves of their face, you can see thoughts milling in their head, you know in that moment there is no other place you want to be.
It is in that moment you see eternity, you feel complete and you hold on with everything you have.
Thursday, December 07, 2006
Peaceful Fighting
There are times in life when you aren't sure if what you are doing is a good thing or bad thing. You don't want to step on any toes and you certainly don't want to stick your nose where it doesn't belong.
Then someone asks that question, "What did you think?" Ak! Eject button, eject button! Where is the eject button???
You may have a lot to say and you may not, but you certainly don't know how to approach it. Most definitely it is easier to look through the fragile window pane to the inside than it is to be on the inside trying to keep that glass from breaking.
This happened to me last night and the rough part of it was that there was so much stirring in my head. Many things I would like to have blurted out maybe would not have been the most pleasant and I certainly didn't want to offend anyone.
So, to stay safe and assess the situation further, I listened. Then I talked about observations and gave experiences from my life. We chatted for nearly two hours.
I could see in her face what I saw in my mother for many years. The only difference is that she knows the promises she has made and she is willing to fight for those blessings. The love she feels in her heart outweighs anything else.
In the moments we shared together I gained a great admiration for this woman. She has her struggles, and we all do. She is willing to admit her imperfections. She is a learner. She wants the very best for those around her and knows she can't force it upon anyone. She is becoming a peaceful fighter.
The peaceful fighting is perhaps the hardest thing to learn. It doesn't involve the raising of voices, getting in anyone's face or saying anything at all.
Peaceful fighting is getting things resolved through compromise and being the bigger person by walking away.
When someone is in the state of mind that something is going to be done a certain way, it is not a good situation to discuss things in. You must learn to tell them the stipulations upon which you are willing to talk, turn around and walk away.
Those who are looking to vent will learn that their behavior is no longer accepted. They must learn that the way to effective communication is not to "tell" people, but to "share"; that approach is 99 percent of the conversation; and that raised voices and playing the victim will not stand.
It is easy to play the victim and wonder why things are so hard for you and point fingers. The real challenge comes in learning to be the bigger person, realize there may need to be some changes and listen to those around you. You may not like what they have to say, but everyone has a right to their opinion and to "share" their feelings.
There are many other things we talked about and that I learned. Perhaps I will share it at another time. All I can say for now is that I am greatful to know there are people out there willing to fight for what they want. This woman is amazing and the love she exhibits is Christ-like in every way.
Then someone asks that question, "What did you think?" Ak! Eject button, eject button! Where is the eject button???
You may have a lot to say and you may not, but you certainly don't know how to approach it. Most definitely it is easier to look through the fragile window pane to the inside than it is to be on the inside trying to keep that glass from breaking.
This happened to me last night and the rough part of it was that there was so much stirring in my head. Many things I would like to have blurted out maybe would not have been the most pleasant and I certainly didn't want to offend anyone.
So, to stay safe and assess the situation further, I listened. Then I talked about observations and gave experiences from my life. We chatted for nearly two hours.
I could see in her face what I saw in my mother for many years. The only difference is that she knows the promises she has made and she is willing to fight for those blessings. The love she feels in her heart outweighs anything else.
In the moments we shared together I gained a great admiration for this woman. She has her struggles, and we all do. She is willing to admit her imperfections. She is a learner. She wants the very best for those around her and knows she can't force it upon anyone. She is becoming a peaceful fighter.
The peaceful fighting is perhaps the hardest thing to learn. It doesn't involve the raising of voices, getting in anyone's face or saying anything at all.
Peaceful fighting is getting things resolved through compromise and being the bigger person by walking away.
When someone is in the state of mind that something is going to be done a certain way, it is not a good situation to discuss things in. You must learn to tell them the stipulations upon which you are willing to talk, turn around and walk away.
Those who are looking to vent will learn that their behavior is no longer accepted. They must learn that the way to effective communication is not to "tell" people, but to "share"; that approach is 99 percent of the conversation; and that raised voices and playing the victim will not stand.
It is easy to play the victim and wonder why things are so hard for you and point fingers. The real challenge comes in learning to be the bigger person, realize there may need to be some changes and listen to those around you. You may not like what they have to say, but everyone has a right to their opinion and to "share" their feelings.
There are many other things we talked about and that I learned. Perhaps I will share it at another time. All I can say for now is that I am greatful to know there are people out there willing to fight for what they want. This woman is amazing and the love she exhibits is Christ-like in every way.
You
"You do take my breath away. You make my heart beat faster. You make my palms sweat. But that doesn't mean I don't love you. It means I do. You know sometimes, your heart knows things your mind can't explain? My heart doesn't race for anyone else. I love you..."
- Daniel, Ugly Betty
There are things I see in you that no one else sees. Times I look at you and see an older, more mature you. I think about waking up with you and raising a family together and I feel peace. I don't feel anxiety around you, only a longing to be closer more often.
Your smile brightens my day like the rays of the sun. Your hugs warm me like my favorite blanket. Your eyes are windows to a soul mature beyond its years. Your kisses are comfortable and your words like fresh air.
Chase me, catch me, hold me tight and never let go. Let me be first. Let me be the girl who fulfills your dreams and desires. Let me be the one you spend eternity with.
- Daniel, Ugly Betty
There are things I see in you that no one else sees. Times I look at you and see an older, more mature you. I think about waking up with you and raising a family together and I feel peace. I don't feel anxiety around you, only a longing to be closer more often.
Your smile brightens my day like the rays of the sun. Your hugs warm me like my favorite blanket. Your eyes are windows to a soul mature beyond its years. Your kisses are comfortable and your words like fresh air.
Chase me, catch me, hold me tight and never let go. Let me be first. Let me be the girl who fulfills your dreams and desires. Let me be the one you spend eternity with.
Wednesday, December 06, 2006
Life
I recently talked to someone who said he stopped reading my blog because he was confused. That is what happens when you don't ask questions or keep up to date.
Over the last week some pretty amazing things have happened. It has been full of job interviews, meaningful conversations and many other great things.
Last night we went to Nicklecaid for our YSA activity. Oh my. Trevor was there two hours before we got there, so needless to say, he was pretty bored by the time we got there. About the coolest thing in the building was the air hockey table. When we found it, it was in constant use for more than an hour.
There was a "Stand by the table at your own risk" clause however. The puck was flying, people were using their forearms to block the puck and at one point Trevor and Travis thought it would be fun to play with their hands...
I would not recomend the place for big people. Little people could probably stay occupied for a while though.
Later on we went out to Teresa's and chilled (literally) in her hot tub. The water was great, the air outside was cold. It was only Trev and I because the girl who came with Travis didn't bring her suit for some reason... blah...
The hours we spent there were some of the best conversation I have had in a while. With him there is always a purpose and we gain a greater understanding of one another and life. All the time I am seeing more and more of who he really is. The outside layers have begun to peel off and the Lord is allowing me to see his son.
When the Lord opens your spiritual eyes, amazing things happen. (Often I relate everything in my life to to gospel and that is because my life is nothing without the gospel.) As we live worthy to have the windows of heaven opened to us, we will be shown what our Heavenly Father wants us to see.
Over the last week some pretty amazing things have happened. It has been full of job interviews, meaningful conversations and many other great things.
Last night we went to Nicklecaid for our YSA activity. Oh my. Trevor was there two hours before we got there, so needless to say, he was pretty bored by the time we got there. About the coolest thing in the building was the air hockey table. When we found it, it was in constant use for more than an hour.
There was a "Stand by the table at your own risk" clause however. The puck was flying, people were using their forearms to block the puck and at one point Trevor and Travis thought it would be fun to play with their hands...
I would not recomend the place for big people. Little people could probably stay occupied for a while though.
Later on we went out to Teresa's and chilled (literally) in her hot tub. The water was great, the air outside was cold. It was only Trev and I because the girl who came with Travis didn't bring her suit for some reason... blah...
The hours we spent there were some of the best conversation I have had in a while. With him there is always a purpose and we gain a greater understanding of one another and life. All the time I am seeing more and more of who he really is. The outside layers have begun to peel off and the Lord is allowing me to see his son.
When the Lord opens your spiritual eyes, amazing things happen. (Often I relate everything in my life to to gospel and that is because my life is nothing without the gospel.) As we live worthy to have the windows of heaven opened to us, we will be shown what our Heavenly Father wants us to see.
Live Your Best Life
I will not die an unlived life.
I will not live in fear
of falling or catching fire.
I chose to inhabit my days,
to allow my living to open me,
to make me less afraid,
more accessible,
to loosen my heart
until it becomes a wing,
a torch, promise.
I choose to risk my significance,
to live so that which came to me as a seed
goes to the next as a blossom,
and that which came to me as a blossom,
goes on as fruit.
-Dawna Markova
I will not live in fear
of falling or catching fire.
I chose to inhabit my days,
to allow my living to open me,
to make me less afraid,
more accessible,
to loosen my heart
until it becomes a wing,
a torch, promise.
I choose to risk my significance,
to live so that which came to me as a seed
goes to the next as a blossom,
and that which came to me as a blossom,
goes on as fruit.
-Dawna Markova
Thousandths
There are thousandths of seconds we want to hold on to, fleeting moments in time we don't want to let go of. Your eyes are opened in a way you have never experienced. New experiences, new feelings, new thoughts, and new questions.
In those moments, you want to let the fences down and pour out every thought and feeling that is going through your head. Only the past keeps you from letting the words fall from your mouth. As trust is built up over time, it can be destroyed in a thousandth of a second. You chose to stay inside and maybe crack open the key hole...
History is the greatest teacher. It is also a bad teacher.
While we can learn from the mistakes of those who went before us, there is also much more we can learn. Just because something didn't work the first time doesn't mean it won't ever work. Oftentimes, we need to step back and take in the whole picture. We can re-assess and start again.
We must not let our fear of failure keep us from our future and our dreams.
In those moments, you want to let the fences down and pour out every thought and feeling that is going through your head. Only the past keeps you from letting the words fall from your mouth. As trust is built up over time, it can be destroyed in a thousandth of a second. You chose to stay inside and maybe crack open the key hole...
History is the greatest teacher. It is also a bad teacher.
While we can learn from the mistakes of those who went before us, there is also much more we can learn. Just because something didn't work the first time doesn't mean it won't ever work. Oftentimes, we need to step back and take in the whole picture. We can re-assess and start again.
We must not let our fear of failure keep us from our future and our dreams.
Tuesday, December 05, 2006
Of House and Home
I imagine a place where my children can come home, feel comfortable talking about their successes and worries, and where love and respect abound for all. I imagine a home where husband and wife can calmly talk about issues in the family. I imagine a home where everyone has friendship and gives compliments, and leaves the negative behind.
There are many things I envision for my future family. I only pray that I can find that person who I will be able to communicate with and work together with to raise a family.
"In selecting a companion for life and for eternity, certainly the most careful planning and thinking and praying and fasting should be done to be sure that of all the decision, this one must not be wrong," said Pres. Spencer W. Kimball."In true marriage there must be a union of minds as well as of hearts... It brings with it sacrifice, sharing, and a demand for great selflessness."
There are several times President Gordon B. Hinckley has talked about his wife and their relationship. He always emphasizes how he and Marjorie walked side by side and she was never a step behind.
It is a great example of what a marriage should be, because life together and eternity afterward are a long time; and it is only through obedience and respect for one another that you can receive the promised blessings.
"The one who marries to give happiness as well as receive it, to give service as well as to receive it, and who looks after the interests of the two and then the family as it comes will have a good chance that the marriage will be a happy one," Kimball said.
There are many things I envision for my future family. I only pray that I can find that person who I will be able to communicate with and work together with to raise a family.
"In selecting a companion for life and for eternity, certainly the most careful planning and thinking and praying and fasting should be done to be sure that of all the decision, this one must not be wrong," said Pres. Spencer W. Kimball."In true marriage there must be a union of minds as well as of hearts... It brings with it sacrifice, sharing, and a demand for great selflessness."
There are several times President Gordon B. Hinckley has talked about his wife and their relationship. He always emphasizes how he and Marjorie walked side by side and she was never a step behind.
It is a great example of what a marriage should be, because life together and eternity afterward are a long time; and it is only through obedience and respect for one another that you can receive the promised blessings.
"The one who marries to give happiness as well as receive it, to give service as well as to receive it, and who looks after the interests of the two and then the family as it comes will have a good chance that the marriage will be a happy one," Kimball said.
Friday, December 01, 2006
Frozen
There are those times in life when you want to freeze a moment and hold it forever. It is one of those moments that holds special meaning.
You don't know how to explain it and you don't really care to. It is a moment that is calculated. It is a moment that burns inside of you. It is a moment that is yours.
There are times in life when there are two people meant to be together at a certain time in life. Perhaps even longer. However, for now, you are content knowing the here-and-now. You get each other, there is a ken between you.
I have not thought to open my heart to someone until recently. There hasn't been anyone I have wanted to open it to really. I tell my family I love them, but that is about it. I haven't thought about sharing my life, or my love for that matter, with anyone else.
Then there is that moment when you can see. Your eyes are opened. You look at someone as they say three little words to you. While the words are little, their significance is more. You feel the impact of the words and of the person saying it.
Freeze that moment and hold on to it.
You don't know how to explain it and you don't really care to. It is a moment that is calculated. It is a moment that burns inside of you. It is a moment that is yours.
There are times in life when there are two people meant to be together at a certain time in life. Perhaps even longer. However, for now, you are content knowing the here-and-now. You get each other, there is a ken between you.
I have not thought to open my heart to someone until recently. There hasn't been anyone I have wanted to open it to really. I tell my family I love them, but that is about it. I haven't thought about sharing my life, or my love for that matter, with anyone else.
Then there is that moment when you can see. Your eyes are opened. You look at someone as they say three little words to you. While the words are little, their significance is more. You feel the impact of the words and of the person saying it.
Freeze that moment and hold on to it.
Click
Click
Hold that moment
Freeze it in time
Click
The expression on his face
Light gently illuminating
Click, click, click
Those words
Little tiny words
Click, click
Gaze up at him
Hold him close
And don't let him go
Click
Freeze that feeling
Hold on to it
Click
Seconds flitting by
Searching his eyes
Click, click, click
The words you want
You say them back
Click, click
In the dark
Yet feeling light as day
Click
Such small words
Although significant in meaning
Click, click, click
A thought out moment
Two souls intertwined
Click
Hold that moment
Freeze it in time
Hold that moment
Freeze it in time
Click
The expression on his face
Light gently illuminating
Click, click, click
Those words
Little tiny words
Click, click
Gaze up at him
Hold him close
And don't let him go
Click
Freeze that feeling
Hold on to it
Click
Seconds flitting by
Searching his eyes
Click, click, click
The words you want
You say them back
Click, click
In the dark
Yet feeling light as day
Click
Such small words
Although significant in meaning
Click, click, click
A thought out moment
Two souls intertwined
Click
Hold that moment
Freeze it in time
Thursday, November 30, 2006
Argh!!!
My body is having an allergic reaction to something and I can't figure out what it would be... Mis deditos are red and don't bend, my forearm is covered in red and my face and neck have patches on them...
ARGH!!!
ARGH!!!
Stars
"Ideals are like the stars. You will not reach them by touching them with your hands. You will reach them by using them as your guide."
-Pres. Thomas S. Monson
I love looking at the stars, learning about the constellations and being in places were I can see them all. Every opportunity I have to sleep under the stars, I do.
The very idea that God put the stars in constellations amazes me. Then to think He would put the idea into someone's head that the set of stars over there looks like a dragon, and another set of stars looks like Orion, and yet another set looks like a scorpion. Amazing!
For hundreds of years we have been using these stars as guides, astrological signs and a host of other things. Just as those shinning orbs have become something we look up to, our dreams and ideals are also something we should look up to and use as our guide in life.
Our dreams are our own personal bright spots, something that give us hope. Most often it is those dreams that get us to pick ourselves up and dust off. It is those dreams that push us into the darkness and shine a light as we step one foot in front of the other.
"All that is not eternal is too short. All that is not infinite is too small."
-Pres. James E. Faust
-Pres. Thomas S. Monson
I love looking at the stars, learning about the constellations and being in places were I can see them all. Every opportunity I have to sleep under the stars, I do.
The very idea that God put the stars in constellations amazes me. Then to think He would put the idea into someone's head that the set of stars over there looks like a dragon, and another set of stars looks like Orion, and yet another set looks like a scorpion. Amazing!
For hundreds of years we have been using these stars as guides, astrological signs and a host of other things. Just as those shinning orbs have become something we look up to, our dreams and ideals are also something we should look up to and use as our guide in life.
Our dreams are our own personal bright spots, something that give us hope. Most often it is those dreams that get us to pick ourselves up and dust off. It is those dreams that push us into the darkness and shine a light as we step one foot in front of the other.
"All that is not eternal is too short. All that is not infinite is too small."
-Pres. James E. Faust
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
Honesty
"We must not let our passions destroy our dreams."
-King Arthur
For those who know the story, the statement has some irony to it. Later on the king would betray the very person who was the most loyal to him. He told himself that know one would ever know, no one would ever find out. But, as with many secrets, someone always knows and someone always finds out.
Honesty is such a strange creature. It makes everything so easy, if we would just exercise it. When we chose not to be honest, it opens the door for betrayal. Betrayal that hurts. Betrayal that should never exist. Betrayal that can destroy something so beautiful.
How honest are we with ourselves? How honest are we with the ones we love? Maybe we are content with what we don't know.
I work hard to be honest with those around me and I would hope that they do the same in return. More importantly, it is imperative to be honest with yourself.
-King Arthur
For those who know the story, the statement has some irony to it. Later on the king would betray the very person who was the most loyal to him. He told himself that know one would ever know, no one would ever find out. But, as with many secrets, someone always knows and someone always finds out.
Honesty is such a strange creature. It makes everything so easy, if we would just exercise it. When we chose not to be honest, it opens the door for betrayal. Betrayal that hurts. Betrayal that should never exist. Betrayal that can destroy something so beautiful.
How honest are we with ourselves? How honest are we with the ones we love? Maybe we are content with what we don't know.
I work hard to be honest with those around me and I would hope that they do the same in return. More importantly, it is imperative to be honest with yourself.
Life
Life is interesting... There are those curve balls that find the inside, and then some, and smack you right in the kidney. Then there are those beautiful meat balls that come right down the center and have homerun written all over it.
A few weeks ago I did not know what I was going to do. I got smacked in the kidney and didn't want to get up. Coach came out from the dugout and made me get up. I stood at the plate a little unsure, but I had to face it because I couldn't back down.
A few pitches later I got the meat ball. Things are going better and even better than I thought it would. The Lord has blessed me significantly and then some. It is a true testament to obedience and living your life in accordance with the laws of God.
Today I had the opportunity to read Lectures on Faith. Wow! What amazing insights.
I really liked Lecture Six. It talks about sacrifice and how we must have a sure knowledge before we are ready to sacrifice in our hearts. We must also be in the path of the Lord.
"Such was, and always will be, the situation of the saints of God, that unless they have an actual knowledge that the course they are pursuing is according to the will of God, they will grow weary in their minds, and faint."
"A religion that does not require the sacrifice of all things never has the power sufficient to produce the faith necessary unto life and salvation."
What a debt of gratitude we owe to Joseph Smith who had faith enough to ask God the Father which of all the churches were true; then to follow his answer, amid persecution, and restore the fullness of the gospel of Jesus Christ to the earth.
A few weeks ago I did not know what I was going to do. I got smacked in the kidney and didn't want to get up. Coach came out from the dugout and made me get up. I stood at the plate a little unsure, but I had to face it because I couldn't back down.
A few pitches later I got the meat ball. Things are going better and even better than I thought it would. The Lord has blessed me significantly and then some. It is a true testament to obedience and living your life in accordance with the laws of God.
Today I had the opportunity to read Lectures on Faith. Wow! What amazing insights.
I really liked Lecture Six. It talks about sacrifice and how we must have a sure knowledge before we are ready to sacrifice in our hearts. We must also be in the path of the Lord.
"Such was, and always will be, the situation of the saints of God, that unless they have an actual knowledge that the course they are pursuing is according to the will of God, they will grow weary in their minds, and faint."
"A religion that does not require the sacrifice of all things never has the power sufficient to produce the faith necessary unto life and salvation."
What a debt of gratitude we owe to Joseph Smith who had faith enough to ask God the Father which of all the churches were true; then to follow his answer, amid persecution, and restore the fullness of the gospel of Jesus Christ to the earth.
Saturday, November 25, 2006
Feel the Silence
You lie awake at night
With blue eyes that never cry
All you remember now
Is what you feel
The truth remains
In midnight conversations
I asked for this moment
But you turned away
Sad like a lonely child
Broken the day you're born
I held the light to you
But I was so vain
And you remain
A promise unfulfilled
I ask you for more
But you push me away
And if we feel the silence
Holding this all inside
Everything means more now than
Words could explain
And if we feel the silence
Holding this all inside us
Looking for something more to say
I don't know where I'm going
Only know where I been
But you move through my soul like a hurricane wind
We've been so lost for so long
I don't know how to get back again
And we're drowning in the water
That flows under this bridge
When you're fighting the current
You forget how to live
And I wanted to reach you but I don't know where to begin
And you remain
A promise unfulfilled until today
And if we feel the silence
Holding this all inside
Everything means more now than
Words could explain
And if we feel the silence
Leaving this all behind us
When it's gone what will you say
How do we hold on
How do we hold on
How do we hold on
How do we hold on
How do we hold on
You lie awake at night
With blue eyes that never cry
With blue eyes that never cry
All you remember now
Is what you feel
The truth remains
In midnight conversations
I asked for this moment
But you turned away
Sad like a lonely child
Broken the day you're born
I held the light to you
But I was so vain
And you remain
A promise unfulfilled
I ask you for more
But you push me away
And if we feel the silence
Holding this all inside
Everything means more now than
Words could explain
And if we feel the silence
Holding this all inside us
Looking for something more to say
I don't know where I'm going
Only know where I been
But you move through my soul like a hurricane wind
We've been so lost for so long
I don't know how to get back again
And we're drowning in the water
That flows under this bridge
When you're fighting the current
You forget how to live
And I wanted to reach you but I don't know where to begin
And you remain
A promise unfulfilled until today
And if we feel the silence
Holding this all inside
Everything means more now than
Words could explain
And if we feel the silence
Leaving this all behind us
When it's gone what will you say
How do we hold on
How do we hold on
How do we hold on
How do we hold on
How do we hold on
You lie awake at night
With blue eyes that never cry
Random thoughts
Today is one of my Saturday's to work and I am cleaning things out. In the middle of things I am finding quotes and thoughts I have written down. So, today I thought I would share them with you.
"I heard once that love was a friendship on fire."
I want to marry my best friend. Someone I can talk to and who knows me and I know him. Friendship also implies loyalty and unconditional love.
"Life is pain your highness. Anyone who tells you different is trying to sell you something."
-The Princess Bride
How can I know what I think until I know what I have written?
What do we live for if we don't make life easier for each other?
"My plea is that we stop seeking out the storms and enjoy more the sunshine."
-President Gordon B. Hinckley
If we would all obey the principles, we wouldn't need rules.
"I believe that the busy person... who has his worries and troubles, can solve his problems better and more quickly in the house of the Lord than anywhere else. If he will [do] the temple work for himself and for his dead, he will confer a mighty blessing upon those who have gone before, and... a blessing will come to him, for at the most unexpected moments, in or out of the temple will come to him, as a revelation, the solution of the problems that vex his life. That is the gift that comes to those who enter the temple properly."
- Elder John A. Widstoe
Trials give us the opportunity to be molded into something great.
"No pain that we suffer, no trial we endure is ever waisted."
-Orson F. Whitney
"Even if you exercise your strongest faith, God will not answer in the time you want."
-Elder Richard G. Scott
We must set commandments for ourselves to help us avoid temptations and keep the commandments the Lord has given us.
"That which we persist in doing becomes easier to do."
-Pres. Heber J. Grant
Don't fear the giants.
There are going to be off days. Keep working at it.
Life is simple. We tend to complicate it.
Don't falter. Don't ever lose hope
"Agency allows us to exercise on the inside, outside Christ-like behavior."
-Elder Robert. D. Hales
"Christ is the creator, the healer. What He has made, he can fix."
-Elder Boyd K. Packer
How can I know what I think until I know what I have written?
What do we live for if we don't make life easier for each other?
"I heard once that love was a friendship on fire."
I want to marry my best friend. Someone I can talk to and who knows me and I know him. Friendship also implies loyalty and unconditional love.
"Life is pain your highness. Anyone who tells you different is trying to sell you something."
-The Princess Bride
How can I know what I think until I know what I have written?
What do we live for if we don't make life easier for each other?
"My plea is that we stop seeking out the storms and enjoy more the sunshine."
-President Gordon B. Hinckley
If we would all obey the principles, we wouldn't need rules.
"I believe that the busy person... who has his worries and troubles, can solve his problems better and more quickly in the house of the Lord than anywhere else. If he will [do] the temple work for himself and for his dead, he will confer a mighty blessing upon those who have gone before, and... a blessing will come to him, for at the most unexpected moments, in or out of the temple will come to him, as a revelation, the solution of the problems that vex his life. That is the gift that comes to those who enter the temple properly."
- Elder John A. Widstoe
Trials give us the opportunity to be molded into something great.
"No pain that we suffer, no trial we endure is ever waisted."
-Orson F. Whitney
"Even if you exercise your strongest faith, God will not answer in the time you want."
-Elder Richard G. Scott
We must set commandments for ourselves to help us avoid temptations and keep the commandments the Lord has given us.
"That which we persist in doing becomes easier to do."
-Pres. Heber J. Grant
Don't fear the giants.
There are going to be off days. Keep working at it.
Life is simple. We tend to complicate it.
Don't falter. Don't ever lose hope
"Agency allows us to exercise on the inside, outside Christ-like behavior."
-Elder Robert. D. Hales
"Christ is the creator, the healer. What He has made, he can fix."
-Elder Boyd K. Packer
How can I know what I think until I know what I have written?
What do we live for if we don't make life easier for each other?
Butterflies
I love butterflies. They are interesting insects. It amazes me to think that a leaf-munching creepy crawly thing could turn into a beautiful flying creature of various colors.
Tonight I was thinking about these insects (it almost seems weird to call it a bug). There is much parallelism that can be taken from them.
There are people that come into our lives and they may not be the best looking prospects. They are the, perhaps, undesirable creatures that go along and munch everything in their path. The beauty is that they can be so much more.
We bring these people into our lives and we wrap them into a cocoon. As they are wrapped in this orb, they begin to change. It could be changes in their lives, their attitudes, whatever. We watch a special metamorphis from the outside. It is gorgeous.
Then one day, the person realizes who they have become and begins to break free from the cocoon. In our own selfish way, we want the new creature to stay. However, holding on could damage its wings and prevent it from ever flying.
As it crawls out, beautiful colored wings unfold before our eyes and the creature begins to unsteadily walk and try to fly. Suddenly, as if it is second nature, it flies away. This is the hard part because you want the butterfly to know you want it to stay. You want it to know that you care for it and are willing to do whatever it takes. At the same time, you want the butterfly to know you love it enough to let it go even though you are crying on the inside because you know what its adventures will be.
There are times in our lives when a certain degree of selfishness has its place. Then there are other times when we have to let those butterflies in our lives go.
It has to go out into the "new" world and explore. It must find out who it is. It must figure out what it wants. And perhaps the very thing it seeks it right in front of it, but it doesn't know that yet. The only way we will know if what it seeks is us, is if it comes back.
We cannot confine the butterfly to its cocoon. We cannot protect it forever. We cannot inhibit it from finding out what it wants.
What we can do is trust that it will make the right decisions and support it along the way. It may not come back and that is OK. We have to want happiness for the new creature that has formed. We have to love it enough to let go and be the friend who stands by and says everything is OK, even though it isn't.
At the same time, the creature must realize that if takes too long, we may not be there when it comes back. There may be other butterflies that catch our attention. Decisions have their consequences and we will have to live with what we decide.
Sometimes it is OK to be selfish, but not if you are keeping the very thing you love from discovering itself.
Tonight I was thinking about these insects (it almost seems weird to call it a bug). There is much parallelism that can be taken from them.
There are people that come into our lives and they may not be the best looking prospects. They are the, perhaps, undesirable creatures that go along and munch everything in their path. The beauty is that they can be so much more.
We bring these people into our lives and we wrap them into a cocoon. As they are wrapped in this orb, they begin to change. It could be changes in their lives, their attitudes, whatever. We watch a special metamorphis from the outside. It is gorgeous.
Then one day, the person realizes who they have become and begins to break free from the cocoon. In our own selfish way, we want the new creature to stay. However, holding on could damage its wings and prevent it from ever flying.
As it crawls out, beautiful colored wings unfold before our eyes and the creature begins to unsteadily walk and try to fly. Suddenly, as if it is second nature, it flies away. This is the hard part because you want the butterfly to know you want it to stay. You want it to know that you care for it and are willing to do whatever it takes. At the same time, you want the butterfly to know you love it enough to let it go even though you are crying on the inside because you know what its adventures will be.
There are times in our lives when a certain degree of selfishness has its place. Then there are other times when we have to let those butterflies in our lives go.
It has to go out into the "new" world and explore. It must find out who it is. It must figure out what it wants. And perhaps the very thing it seeks it right in front of it, but it doesn't know that yet. The only way we will know if what it seeks is us, is if it comes back.
We cannot confine the butterfly to its cocoon. We cannot protect it forever. We cannot inhibit it from finding out what it wants.
What we can do is trust that it will make the right decisions and support it along the way. It may not come back and that is OK. We have to want happiness for the new creature that has formed. We have to love it enough to let go and be the friend who stands by and says everything is OK, even though it isn't.
At the same time, the creature must realize that if takes too long, we may not be there when it comes back. There may be other butterflies that catch our attention. Decisions have their consequences and we will have to live with what we decide.
Sometimes it is OK to be selfish, but not if you are keeping the very thing you love from discovering itself.
Friday, November 24, 2006
Secrets
"As doctors we know everybody's secrets, their medical histories, sexual histories, confidential information that is as essential to a surgeon as a ten blade and every bit as dangerous. We keep secrets. We have to. But not all secrets can be kept..."
-Christina
Secrets are dangerous. They can eat us alive from the inside out. They can destroy families, relationships and lifetime friendships. They are not healthy.
Today I was talking with my dad about liquid oxygen and the bottles it is contained in. What an interesting creature.
On the inside of the cylinder there is a little generator thing that circulates the liquid O2. When the cylinder is not used, people can lose 1-2 percent a day. Because of this little generator thing, there must be a let-off valve so pressure doesn't build up too high.
There was a guy once who decided he didn't want to lose his liquid O2, so he took out the let-off valve. It was replaced with a steel something-or-other. He had not used the cylinder for a while and was cruising down the highway in his service truck (the cylinder was in the bed). Suddenly, there was a loud explosion, he started to swerve all over the road and crashed his truck.
The bottom of the cylinder rotted out and the built up pressure didn't help the situation. The guys truck broke in half and they couldn't find the cylinder.
Keep in mind, liquid O2 is the same stuff they put into the solid rocket boosters for space shuttles (500,000 gal-or-so of it). About three months later, two miles away a wheat farmer was harvesting and found the bottle in his field... woah!
Our secrets can produce the same results in our lives. If we do not have a let-off valve, the pressure will build and one day we are going to explode and it may not be pretty.
"In some ways, betrayal is inevitable. When our bodies betray us, surgery is often the key to recovery. When we betray each other, when we betray each other, the path to recovery is less clear...
"We do whatever it takes to rebuild the trust that was lost...
"And then there are some wounds, some betrayals that are so deep, so profound that there's no way to repair what was lost. And when that happens, there's nothing left to do but wait..."
-Christina
Secrets are dangerous. They can eat us alive from the inside out. They can destroy families, relationships and lifetime friendships. They are not healthy.
Today I was talking with my dad about liquid oxygen and the bottles it is contained in. What an interesting creature.
On the inside of the cylinder there is a little generator thing that circulates the liquid O2. When the cylinder is not used, people can lose 1-2 percent a day. Because of this little generator thing, there must be a let-off valve so pressure doesn't build up too high.
There was a guy once who decided he didn't want to lose his liquid O2, so he took out the let-off valve. It was replaced with a steel something-or-other. He had not used the cylinder for a while and was cruising down the highway in his service truck (the cylinder was in the bed). Suddenly, there was a loud explosion, he started to swerve all over the road and crashed his truck.
The bottom of the cylinder rotted out and the built up pressure didn't help the situation. The guys truck broke in half and they couldn't find the cylinder.
Keep in mind, liquid O2 is the same stuff they put into the solid rocket boosters for space shuttles (500,000 gal-or-so of it). About three months later, two miles away a wheat farmer was harvesting and found the bottle in his field... woah!
Our secrets can produce the same results in our lives. If we do not have a let-off valve, the pressure will build and one day we are going to explode and it may not be pretty.
"In some ways, betrayal is inevitable. When our bodies betray us, surgery is often the key to recovery. When we betray each other, when we betray each other, the path to recovery is less clear...
"We do whatever it takes to rebuild the trust that was lost...
"And then there are some wounds, some betrayals that are so deep, so profound that there's no way to repair what was lost. And when that happens, there's nothing left to do but wait..."
Discernment
dis‧cern‧ment [di-surn-muh
nt, -zurn-] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation
nt, -zurn-] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation –noun
| 1. | the faculty of discerning; discrimination; acuteness of judgment and understanding. |
| 2. | the act or an instance of discerning. |
The gift of discernment is a strange thing. In the scriptures it is often talked about in the form of good vs. evil. In a few instances, it is talked about in the manner of making decisions or in knowing something.
There are times "you just know" something is coming or someone is going to say something. You do not know how you know, but you do.
The other day a special friend of mine messaged me and I already knew what he wanted. When he called later I prayed that the words I didn't want to hear would not come out of his mouth. I wanted to cry.
My point in sharing this is because there are times when we are living our lives right and the Lord will share things with us. He trusts us enough to give us that "sneak peek." He knows it will be for our benefit. We may not want it, but we are shortsighted and don't know that it may be for the better in the end.
The Lord can only share gifts with us when we are prepared to use those gifts for good. Added to that, we are not always given all the gifts we want.
"For all have not every gift given unto them; for there are many gifts, and to every man is given a gift by the Spirit of God.
"To some is given one, and to some is given another, that all may be profited thereby" (D&C 46:11-12).
While we may be struggling in our temporal lives, we must seek spiritual refuge in the gifts the Lord wants to give us. God sees our potential and we must learn to see our own potential.
What would have happened had the Lord not seen the potential in Saul of Tarsus? He was a persecutor of the Christians and took part in the martyrdom of Stephen. On the road to do some more persecution he saw a vision of the Lord, became Paul, and was later baptized, served missions and was imprisoned for his beliefs. He became, in the Lord's words, a "fisher of men" (Matt. 4:19).
What would have happened had the Lord not seen the potential of Saul the persecutor? Would he have ever realized his own potential had the Lord given up on him? Had he given up on himself?
Our talents exist to buoy us up in times of distress; to give us the strength to ride out the storm. The Lord will never abandon you. He sees who you can become and you must open your eyes and see that too.
Saturday, November 18, 2006
Blind spots
"Many people don't know that the human eye has a blind spot in its field of vision. There's a part of the world that we are literally blind to.
"The problem is that sometimes our blind spots shield us from the things that really shouldn't be ignored.
"Sometimes our blind spots keep us bright and shiny."
Are there times we chose not to acknowledge those blind spots? That we would rather live in our ignorance than face up to what may be happening?
Today, something may happen. I didn't even think about it until this morning and I started to wonder what, if anything, would happen.
Then I had to remind myself that it is an issue of trust. In reality it is a test in a way. Are things as solid as I think they are? We will see.
"When it comes to our blind spots maybe our brains aren't compensating. Maybe they're protecting us."
"The problem is that sometimes our blind spots shield us from the things that really shouldn't be ignored.
"Sometimes our blind spots keep us bright and shiny."
Are there times we chose not to acknowledge those blind spots? That we would rather live in our ignorance than face up to what may be happening?
Today, something may happen. I didn't even think about it until this morning and I started to wonder what, if anything, would happen.
Then I had to remind myself that it is an issue of trust. In reality it is a test in a way. Are things as solid as I think they are? We will see.
"When it comes to our blind spots maybe our brains aren't compensating. Maybe they're protecting us."
"Become"
There's so much more about you that you never let them see
You turn away
But not to me
And I know how they tried to take you
Held you up and meant to break you down
But you can't be
For so long I tried to reach you
I know I'm almost there
I'm close enough for you to see
You've been hiding in the shadows
Have you forgotten how we used to dream
Let me remind you
The light doesn't blind you at all
It just helps you see
Can you see
Yeah you have become
Yeah you have become beautiful
And I can't be the stranger
That's been sleeping in your bed just
Turn around and come to me
I feel all the pain inside
And everything you been denied you feel
It's all you feel
You've been hiding in the shadows
Have you forgotten how we used to dream
Let me remind you
The light doesn't blind you at all
It helps you see
Can you see
Yeah you have become
Yeah you have become beautiful
Yeah you have become
Yeah you have become beautiful
Brush back your hair and look around you
Feeling like the truth has found you here
You're here with me
Let love become the mirror
With no fear where you're from
You have become beautiful
- Goo Goo Dolls
You turn away
But not to me
And I know how they tried to take you
Held you up and meant to break you down
But you can't be
For so long I tried to reach you
I know I'm almost there
I'm close enough for you to see
You've been hiding in the shadows
Have you forgotten how we used to dream
Let me remind you
The light doesn't blind you at all
It just helps you see
Can you see
Yeah you have become
Yeah you have become beautiful
And I can't be the stranger
That's been sleeping in your bed just
Turn around and come to me
I feel all the pain inside
And everything you been denied you feel
It's all you feel
You've been hiding in the shadows
Have you forgotten how we used to dream
Let me remind you
The light doesn't blind you at all
It helps you see
Can you see
Yeah you have become
Yeah you have become beautiful
Yeah you have become
Yeah you have become beautiful
Brush back your hair and look around you
Feeling like the truth has found you here
You're here with me
Let love become the mirror
With no fear where you're from
You have become beautiful
- Goo Goo Dolls
Philosophies
"A famous philosopher once said we don't know what we want, but we are responsible for who we are...
"He was French and had a lot of time on his hands. But he's not wrong...
"Nobody wants to take responsibility for anything really. Their actions, their words, their secrets, their desires. And the hardest thing, to be responsible for someone else and that’s something you have to work for. And you won't know if your ready until you try."
- Six Degrees
Responsibility is huge! It means you are in charge of something. You are the leader, co-leader, whatever. It is HUGE! And normally we are only willing to accept it when it is in our favor.
We may not know exactly what we want, but in the end we have to account for our actions.
One of the things that hit me hardest in this statement is to be responsible for someone else is something we have to work for.
In life it is so true. Nothing is ever really given to us. Marriage, children, leadership positions, etc. are all something we have to work to keep and they are all big responsibilities.
I think perhaps this is one of the things that scares me about marriage. Knowing that I need to pick the right companion that I will be able to share responsibilities with. It is a joint effort and it will only work if both sides are functioning.
In my life, I have been in a one oar boat going in circles. That is not something I want for my future family.
"I don't get you people," O'Mally said.
"Us with the boobs?" M. Grey replied.
"Yeah," he said with a sigh.
"We make a lot of bad decisions..."
I am having one of those days today, where I am not making the best decisions. It is interesting how the things we do affect how we feel. When we are doing what we are supposed to be doing, life is great. And when we fall flat on our face, it really sucks.
The responsibility of everything along with some personal frustrations only adds to it. What really gets me is that I know how to go around the pot holes and yet I still manage to find the big ones.
One of the great reliefs in my life is that I am finding fewer and fewer pot holes. I keep reminding myself that I am building a mountain and that when I seem to fall I am actually packing the dirt underneath me. So, I am not falling all the way to the bottom of the hill, but I am still climbing.
"He was French and had a lot of time on his hands. But he's not wrong...
"Nobody wants to take responsibility for anything really. Their actions, their words, their secrets, their desires. And the hardest thing, to be responsible for someone else and that’s something you have to work for. And you won't know if your ready until you try."
- Six Degrees
Responsibility is huge! It means you are in charge of something. You are the leader, co-leader, whatever. It is HUGE! And normally we are only willing to accept it when it is in our favor.
We may not know exactly what we want, but in the end we have to account for our actions.
One of the things that hit me hardest in this statement is to be responsible for someone else is something we have to work for.
In life it is so true. Nothing is ever really given to us. Marriage, children, leadership positions, etc. are all something we have to work to keep and they are all big responsibilities.
I think perhaps this is one of the things that scares me about marriage. Knowing that I need to pick the right companion that I will be able to share responsibilities with. It is a joint effort and it will only work if both sides are functioning.
In my life, I have been in a one oar boat going in circles. That is not something I want for my future family.
"I don't get you people," O'Mally said.
"Us with the boobs?" M. Grey replied.
"Yeah," he said with a sigh.
"We make a lot of bad decisions..."
I am having one of those days today, where I am not making the best decisions. It is interesting how the things we do affect how we feel. When we are doing what we are supposed to be doing, life is great. And when we fall flat on our face, it really sucks.
The responsibility of everything along with some personal frustrations only adds to it. What really gets me is that I know how to go around the pot holes and yet I still manage to find the big ones.
One of the great reliefs in my life is that I am finding fewer and fewer pot holes. I keep reminding myself that I am building a mountain and that when I seem to fall I am actually packing the dirt underneath me. So, I am not falling all the way to the bottom of the hill, but I am still climbing.
Thursday, November 16, 2006
Halloween... and a few dems...
Halloween was a night of fun. Melissa had me take my iPod to her party so it could play DJ (bad choice). I had to hurry and make a new play list so that I was not struggling with the thing all night. I even had to steal music from Trevor so that I was semi cool... Not a pretty site.In the end, she had a full house and someone else brought in their computer to play DJ (smart).
Trevor contends he was looking at a hair, but I question that statement...
Tim is so much fun
Some random peps that showed up...
We left the party early to put out some signs and in the midst of that, there were some other signs that were having some struggles...
Can't we all just get along and be friends???
The interesting thing in the middle of all this political hoop-la is Trevor and I's relationship. There are people out there who seem to think it is their business... We are still a bit confused about how people found out because we aren't out in public that often (at least in Ogden). But in the end, it doesn't matter. It is just interesting that there are people out there who seem to have nothing better to worry about.
Beware
What happens when you tell us that you like someone and then refuse to call them? (and you have had this person's number for more than one week...)
We attack your phone, extract the number and take matters into our own hands (whether good or not :/).
To describe the pics, Elle is trying to come after me to get Trevor's phone, which has Boy Toy's number in it.
Eventually, she was successful in escaping and proceeded to chase me up the stairs and out the front door. She chased me around outside for a minute until I handed the phone off to Trevor. She then turned her sites to him and tried to dig the phone out of his back pocket.
He told her if she didn't stop, he would pin her down on the ground (note the color of her sweater...) and make her watch him call the BT.
She didn't listen... The result was not pretty... Trevor called the BT and left the funniest message. At some point Elle got free and started chasing Trevor again. But by then, it was too late... The damage was done.
Unfortunately the BT never called her, but I say that is his loss and he is a nerd...
Just beware... ;)
ugh...
I am getting a little frustrated with the whole job search thing... I am almost asking myself what the point of it is...
The Standard-Examiner finally called me back today and told me they decided to go with a mobile, online journalist something-or-other (i.e. Gannet News Service). Here at the DNews I am stagnant and I don't know if a move to the Trib is a wise thing.
The other papers I have put resumes in to, I haven't heard from and I am not sure I want to either.
I just need to find something that will make me happy. Not to say I am not happy right now. Working part-time here is hard because I am out of the loop on so many things.
It was good to have the trials and endurance lesson last Sunday. I just have to remember that all of this is for some reason that I may never know.
Here are a few random thoughts I have:
- "In the hour of adversity be not without hope. For crystal rains fall from black clouds."
- "Trials are not a result of breaking the law or wickedness. It is because you are laying the foundation of the kingdom of God to prepare the way for Jesus Christ." Pres. Wilford Woodruff
- If you stay at the same level, things never get any harder and you are not learning what you need to.
- Squeezing by is not the best way. The bare minimum is not enough.
- Blessings before trials come so that we can see the hand of the Lord in our lives to give us the strength we need to get through the trial.
- Although the gospel doesn't change, it allows us to change.
- Sometimes bad things have to happen to force good things to happen.
- Whenever we want to give up Heavenly Father is there to cheer us on.
- "Don't confuse Zion with the Celestial Kingdom. In Zion wee will still have troubles." Sis. Okasaki
- Trials and opposition give us experience and help us prepare for Celestial glory.
- We were not sent to this earth to simply be born. We were sent to endure and return home.
The Standard-Examiner finally called me back today and told me they decided to go with a mobile, online journalist something-or-other (i.e. Gannet News Service). Here at the DNews I am stagnant and I don't know if a move to the Trib is a wise thing.
The other papers I have put resumes in to, I haven't heard from and I am not sure I want to either.
I just need to find something that will make me happy. Not to say I am not happy right now. Working part-time here is hard because I am out of the loop on so many things.
It was good to have the trials and endurance lesson last Sunday. I just have to remember that all of this is for some reason that I may never know.
Here are a few random thoughts I have:
- "In the hour of adversity be not without hope. For crystal rains fall from black clouds."
- "Trials are not a result of breaking the law or wickedness. It is because you are laying the foundation of the kingdom of God to prepare the way for Jesus Christ." Pres. Wilford Woodruff
- If you stay at the same level, things never get any harder and you are not learning what you need to.
- Squeezing by is not the best way. The bare minimum is not enough.
- Blessings before trials come so that we can see the hand of the Lord in our lives to give us the strength we need to get through the trial.
- Although the gospel doesn't change, it allows us to change.
- Sometimes bad things have to happen to force good things to happen.
- Whenever we want to give up Heavenly Father is there to cheer us on.
- "Don't confuse Zion with the Celestial Kingdom. In Zion wee will still have troubles." Sis. Okasaki
- Trials and opposition give us experience and help us prepare for Celestial glory.
- We were not sent to this earth to simply be born. We were sent to endure and return home.
Grey's inspiration for the week
"You came back..." M. Grey said.
"You asked before why I came back the first time. You know, I tried not to. I went on dates. I had a lot of great first dates with guys who were planning to stay guys. But you know, you have a great date and you want to go tell your best friend about it... And then you have a few bad dates. She's my best friend, she knows me, she loves me... At the end of the day, it's Donna, even when she hurts me, even when I hate her," said the patient's wife.
"She's who you want to talk to," Grey said.
"Not all wounds are superficial...
"Most wounds run deeper than imagined. You can't see them with a naked eye...
"And then, there are the wounds that take us by surprise...
"The trick with any kind of wound, or disease, is to dig down and find the real source of the injury...
"And once you've found it, try like hell to heal that sucker," Grey said.
There are those people who hurt you in life and for some reason, you return to them. You are not sure why, but you do. At the end of the day, that person is your friend, the one you trust to tell your deepest sorrows to and you are willing to look beyond one small thing because of something greater.
Not all of our wounds can be seen from the outside. Sometimes we become so skilled as to bury the wounds deep inside and put some pretty hefty fences around them. We convince ourselves that this is OK and it is the best protection we can get.
What we don't see, in our short-sighted human nature, is how hard it will be to dig out and heal that wound later on. No relationship can ever be truly functional if those wounds are not healed and often times we look other places to make us feel better and "heal" those wounds.
I say this because there are still trust issues to be worked out. If you cannot openly share with someone the feelings that are deep inside of you, your relationship is only superficial. This superficial relationship has a lack of trust and that opens the door to jealous tendencies, among other things.
I find myself struggling with this very issue. There are few people I trust my life with right now. Even still, there are things I hold back and I know that is hindering my ability to have a relationship that is deep and could maybe lead to something more. I am also a suspicious person (which is a positive for work...) I am just greatful to two very special people in my life right now who, even though they may not know it, help me to build bridges over the troubled waters in my life.
"People don't come to me to fix what's on the outside, they come to fix what's on the inside," said Dr. McSteamy, the plastic surgeon.
"You asked before why I came back the first time. You know, I tried not to. I went on dates. I had a lot of great first dates with guys who were planning to stay guys. But you know, you have a great date and you want to go tell your best friend about it... And then you have a few bad dates. She's my best friend, she knows me, she loves me... At the end of the day, it's Donna, even when she hurts me, even when I hate her," said the patient's wife.
"She's who you want to talk to," Grey said.
"Not all wounds are superficial...
"Most wounds run deeper than imagined. You can't see them with a naked eye...
"And then, there are the wounds that take us by surprise...
"The trick with any kind of wound, or disease, is to dig down and find the real source of the injury...
"And once you've found it, try like hell to heal that sucker," Grey said.
There are those people who hurt you in life and for some reason, you return to them. You are not sure why, but you do. At the end of the day, that person is your friend, the one you trust to tell your deepest sorrows to and you are willing to look beyond one small thing because of something greater.
Not all of our wounds can be seen from the outside. Sometimes we become so skilled as to bury the wounds deep inside and put some pretty hefty fences around them. We convince ourselves that this is OK and it is the best protection we can get.
What we don't see, in our short-sighted human nature, is how hard it will be to dig out and heal that wound later on. No relationship can ever be truly functional if those wounds are not healed and often times we look other places to make us feel better and "heal" those wounds.
I say this because there are still trust issues to be worked out. If you cannot openly share with someone the feelings that are deep inside of you, your relationship is only superficial. This superficial relationship has a lack of trust and that opens the door to jealous tendencies, among other things.
I find myself struggling with this very issue. There are few people I trust my life with right now. Even still, there are things I hold back and I know that is hindering my ability to have a relationship that is deep and could maybe lead to something more. I am also a suspicious person (which is a positive for work...) I am just greatful to two very special people in my life right now who, even though they may not know it, help me to build bridges over the troubled waters in my life.
"People don't come to me to fix what's on the outside, they come to fix what's on the inside," said Dr. McSteamy, the plastic surgeon.
Wednesday, November 15, 2006
phew...
A lot has been going on in the last few weeks. There have been many private and public struggles in my life. Through it all, the Lord has shown me his tender mercies through simple acts and people around me.
I am so greatful for the priesthood in my life, for men who seek the inspired council of the Lord so that they may open the windows of heaven to our lives. The Lord truly is mindful of us and wants us to succeed.
Last Monday, I went to Elle's house and shared a Family Home Evening with her family. They are so wonderful and there is a great spirit in that house. He father also gave me a beautiful blessing that helped to give me some reassurance about things that are going on in my life right now.
The FHE lesson centered around Doctrine and Covenants 46:28-33. It is interesting how many things I have studied in the last week have linked to something in these verses.
First of all, we talked about what it was to be "in Spirit." How do you get "in Spirit"?
There is a footnote that points to Ezq. 36:27. In a nutshell, it states that to be "in Spirit" we need to walk in His statues, keep His judgements and (most importantly, I think) do them. I also came upon another scripture in D&C 11:12 that gives three things: do justly, walk humbly and judge righteously.
The verses then go on to talk about asking in the Spirit and according to the will of God. What is the will of God?
I thought about this for a minute and I thought about the word desire. This word leads to so much we either do or don't do in our lives. The scriptures talk about how we are rewarded according to our desires. For example, our righteous actions and the resulting blessings lead us to want to be more righteous.
For me, the will of God is the desire he has for us to be obedient and return home. There are many things he desires of us and that is the reason we are given guidelines (commandments, scriptures, covenants, etc.). Everything the Lord does and asks of us is because He wants us to succeed and grow while we are here.
President Corbridge talked about our desires and how it would affect our missions and our lives following the mission. I have started to mark the word in my scriptures. It is interesting to see when the word comes up and the context it is in. Desire is very powerful.
Elle's dad talked about how the will of God is to think as God thinks. When our thoughts are aligned with God's, amazing things can happen. Look at the ancient prophets and the trust God had in them to bring to pass the many miracles.
When we are aligned with God, we know that all must be done in the name of Christ (v. 30). Anything that is done in the Spirit needs to be done in His name. This is why Christ's church must bear His name and ordinances such as baptism and giving the Gift of the Holy Ghost must be done in His name.
This leads to my last thought in the closing verses. It says we must give thanks in the Spirit. When I read this, I thought about a recent talk given by Pres. Boyd K Packer in our October stake conference. He said we must learn to think about our prayers. Often, I think we get lost in vain repetitions. If we are in the Spirit, we are more likely to have an actual conversation with the Lord.
I have found that when I talk to my Father in Heaven, my prayers not only mean more, but I feel the Spirit more. The personal nature of our prayers reflects our understanding of our relationship with Deity.
The light of Christ should be in us because we are made from His light. When this light is illuminated inside of us, we have desires to share it with other people (It is amazing how our desires can pull other people in for better or worse). But when we partake of truth and it moves a change within us, we want to share it with others because we want them to have the same opportunity.
What will your desires do for you?
I am so greatful for the priesthood in my life, for men who seek the inspired council of the Lord so that they may open the windows of heaven to our lives. The Lord truly is mindful of us and wants us to succeed.
Last Monday, I went to Elle's house and shared a Family Home Evening with her family. They are so wonderful and there is a great spirit in that house. He father also gave me a beautiful blessing that helped to give me some reassurance about things that are going on in my life right now.
The FHE lesson centered around Doctrine and Covenants 46:28-33. It is interesting how many things I have studied in the last week have linked to something in these verses.
First of all, we talked about what it was to be "in Spirit." How do you get "in Spirit"?
There is a footnote that points to Ezq. 36:27. In a nutshell, it states that to be "in Spirit" we need to walk in His statues, keep His judgements and (most importantly, I think) do them. I also came upon another scripture in D&C 11:12 that gives three things: do justly, walk humbly and judge righteously.
The verses then go on to talk about asking in the Spirit and according to the will of God. What is the will of God?
I thought about this for a minute and I thought about the word desire. This word leads to so much we either do or don't do in our lives. The scriptures talk about how we are rewarded according to our desires. For example, our righteous actions and the resulting blessings lead us to want to be more righteous.
For me, the will of God is the desire he has for us to be obedient and return home. There are many things he desires of us and that is the reason we are given guidelines (commandments, scriptures, covenants, etc.). Everything the Lord does and asks of us is because He wants us to succeed and grow while we are here.
President Corbridge talked about our desires and how it would affect our missions and our lives following the mission. I have started to mark the word in my scriptures. It is interesting to see when the word comes up and the context it is in. Desire is very powerful.
Elle's dad talked about how the will of God is to think as God thinks. When our thoughts are aligned with God's, amazing things can happen. Look at the ancient prophets and the trust God had in them to bring to pass the many miracles.
When we are aligned with God, we know that all must be done in the name of Christ (v. 30). Anything that is done in the Spirit needs to be done in His name. This is why Christ's church must bear His name and ordinances such as baptism and giving the Gift of the Holy Ghost must be done in His name.
This leads to my last thought in the closing verses. It says we must give thanks in the Spirit. When I read this, I thought about a recent talk given by Pres. Boyd K Packer in our October stake conference. He said we must learn to think about our prayers. Often, I think we get lost in vain repetitions. If we are in the Spirit, we are more likely to have an actual conversation with the Lord.
I have found that when I talk to my Father in Heaven, my prayers not only mean more, but I feel the Spirit more. The personal nature of our prayers reflects our understanding of our relationship with Deity.
The light of Christ should be in us because we are made from His light. When this light is illuminated inside of us, we have desires to share it with other people (It is amazing how our desires can pull other people in for better or worse). But when we partake of truth and it moves a change within us, we want to share it with others because we want them to have the same opportunity.
What will your desires do for you?
Thursday, November 09, 2006
commitments and surprises
"There are times when even the best of us have trouble with commitment," M. Grey said.
"George. I was rude to you before and I'm sorry. I understand what you are trying to say. You're the pig and you are... committed... I mean, we broke up and I've been wanting to hear this from you for how long, and now to say this to me, until after we break up. I'm out of my element here. I break bones for a living. I used to live in the basement. Most days I wear last nights eyeliner to work and I don't give a crap about what people think about me because I am a happily, independent, successful woman and I like it that way. Only when you say stuff like this? it just, it just makes it too hard. So please, don't chase me any more. Unless you are ready to catch me," Kali said.
"And we may be surprised by the commitments we are willing to let slip out of our grasp," said M. Grey, as George let Kali walk away.
"Commitments are complicated... We may surprise ourselves at the commitments we are willing to make. True commitment takes effort and sacrifice. Which is why sometimes we have to learn the hard way to choose our commitments very carefully."
I have thought about this a lot during the past few days. It hasn't necessarily been in the matter of relationships, but life.
Are we ready to catch the commitments we seek? Do we surprise ourselves when we get to that turning point and we walk away because it isn't what we thought it was? Are we surprised at what we are willing to do in order to get to something else?
Right now in my life I am at the limbo point of full-time work and thinking about going back to school. I am analyzing the commitments I am willing to make and looking at other commitments that I may or may not be willing to make to get to my ultimate goals.
I know I need to get my master's degree. The question is, "In what?" When I graduated I was really gung-ho to get my grad exams done and get moving on it this next year. Now I am in a limbo of sorts. I was going to get my MBA and now I am not sure if that is where I need to go.
I know I need to get a real person's job. My hesitation, I think, is that I have never really committed to something long term. I don't know what it is like to have a sort of job security. Newspaper keeps me on my toes. There are also other things that nag at me. I love to organize things and be in the know. When I was running PR and political campaigns, I was having a blast. I have also thought about getting involved in politics (which makes me lean toward a master's in politics and communication). (If Tony Mottes ever read that, he would laugh. But that is another story for another day.)
The only real commitment I have made is to the Church. I think the reasoning for that is because I know it to be true, I know a direction I need to go and I know where I will be going after this life. Even still, there are callings that require our attention and time. In this, I am reminded of a couple of quotes:
"Our willingness to serve in our callings, whatever they may be, is a reflection of our dedication to the Lord."
"With your call come great promises. One of those promises is that the Lord will guide you by revelation just as He called you. You must ask in faith for revelation to know what you are to do. With your call come the promise that answers will come. But that guidance will come only when the Lord is sure you will obey. To know His will you must be committed to do it. The words, "Thy will be done," written in the heart are the window of revelation.?
In the end, I would imagine this is what it comes down to. Just as we will be guided in our callings, according to our obedience, the Lord will guide us in our lives by that same revelation. As we obey in our lives and live according to gospel principles, the Lord will open that window of revelation and show us where we need to go and what we need to do.
Everything stems on our willingness to be obedient and committed to the Lord and his will.
"George. I was rude to you before and I'm sorry. I understand what you are trying to say. You're the pig and you are... committed... I mean, we broke up and I've been wanting to hear this from you for how long, and now to say this to me, until after we break up. I'm out of my element here. I break bones for a living. I used to live in the basement. Most days I wear last nights eyeliner to work and I don't give a crap about what people think about me because I am a happily, independent, successful woman and I like it that way. Only when you say stuff like this? it just, it just makes it too hard. So please, don't chase me any more. Unless you are ready to catch me," Kali said.
"And we may be surprised by the commitments we are willing to let slip out of our grasp," said M. Grey, as George let Kali walk away.
"Commitments are complicated... We may surprise ourselves at the commitments we are willing to make. True commitment takes effort and sacrifice. Which is why sometimes we have to learn the hard way to choose our commitments very carefully."
I have thought about this a lot during the past few days. It hasn't necessarily been in the matter of relationships, but life.
Are we ready to catch the commitments we seek? Do we surprise ourselves when we get to that turning point and we walk away because it isn't what we thought it was? Are we surprised at what we are willing to do in order to get to something else?
Right now in my life I am at the limbo point of full-time work and thinking about going back to school. I am analyzing the commitments I am willing to make and looking at other commitments that I may or may not be willing to make to get to my ultimate goals.
I know I need to get my master's degree. The question is, "In what?" When I graduated I was really gung-ho to get my grad exams done and get moving on it this next year. Now I am in a limbo of sorts. I was going to get my MBA and now I am not sure if that is where I need to go.
I know I need to get a real person's job. My hesitation, I think, is that I have never really committed to something long term. I don't know what it is like to have a sort of job security. Newspaper keeps me on my toes. There are also other things that nag at me. I love to organize things and be in the know. When I was running PR and political campaigns, I was having a blast. I have also thought about getting involved in politics (which makes me lean toward a master's in politics and communication). (If Tony Mottes ever read that, he would laugh. But that is another story for another day.)
The only real commitment I have made is to the Church. I think the reasoning for that is because I know it to be true, I know a direction I need to go and I know where I will be going after this life. Even still, there are callings that require our attention and time. In this, I am reminded of a couple of quotes:
"Our willingness to serve in our callings, whatever they may be, is a reflection of our dedication to the Lord."
"With your call come great promises. One of those promises is that the Lord will guide you by revelation just as He called you. You must ask in faith for revelation to know what you are to do. With your call come the promise that answers will come. But that guidance will come only when the Lord is sure you will obey. To know His will you must be committed to do it. The words, "Thy will be done," written in the heart are the window of revelation.?
In the end, I would imagine this is what it comes down to. Just as we will be guided in our callings, according to our obedience, the Lord will guide us in our lives by that same revelation. As we obey in our lives and live according to gospel principles, the Lord will open that window of revelation and show us where we need to go and what we need to do.
Everything stems on our willingness to be obedient and committed to the Lord and his will.
Photos
I joined this thing call PhotoBucket and I am going to start uploading my photos there. Hopefully this will be an easier way for people to see my photos without having to scroll through large amounts on the blog.
My Chile photos are among the first, along with some other random albums.
Catedral de Santiago
Chile
Iglesia de San Francisco
Random Iglesias>
The Coast
Havasupai Reservation
Switchfoot
My Chile photos are among the first, along with some other random albums.
Catedral de Santiago
Chile
Iglesia de San Francisco
Random Iglesias>
The Coast
Havasupai Reservation
Switchfoot
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
Things
Many things have been going on in the last couple of weeks. Good things and hard things...
I have struggled with some things on the inside working to mask the pain and frustration I am feeling. On top of that the world seems to be hurtling at me like a 16 lb. bowling ball.
Last week, as I was struggling to get a GINORMOUS story done and in, my editor informes me that they are cutting my hours at work. Something about labor laws and me working too many hours without benefits. I look at it one way, saying they could have let me go. At least I still have a job, but it is hard for me to hang out on days I don't have to work.
I ended up working at the end of the week last week anyway trying to get my story done and following up on other things. This week has given me some time to edit photos and get my laptop cleaned off (I was down to 6 MB of space today...). Tomorrow will be my first day at work in a week... it will be interesting to get back in to that mode.
Thankfully, I have had great people around me to help me forget about the small things that aren't going right at the moment.
Trevor came with me as I worked elections on Tuesday. It was very kind of him, considering he had family of his own who would be awaiting results. The night was longer than planned because there was a missing card and another corrupt card. We left the building around 2 a.m. Both of us were hashed...
Today was another leasure day. I helped his family clean out the garage and we went car shopping with his sister. I also plugged in to his network and picked up another 800+ songs. feliz...
I have struggled with some things on the inside working to mask the pain and frustration I am feeling. On top of that the world seems to be hurtling at me like a 16 lb. bowling ball.
Last week, as I was struggling to get a GINORMOUS story done and in, my editor informes me that they are cutting my hours at work. Something about labor laws and me working too many hours without benefits. I look at it one way, saying they could have let me go. At least I still have a job, but it is hard for me to hang out on days I don't have to work.
I ended up working at the end of the week last week anyway trying to get my story done and following up on other things. This week has given me some time to edit photos and get my laptop cleaned off (I was down to 6 MB of space today...). Tomorrow will be my first day at work in a week... it will be interesting to get back in to that mode.
Thankfully, I have had great people around me to help me forget about the small things that aren't going right at the moment.
Trevor came with me as I worked elections on Tuesday. It was very kind of him, considering he had family of his own who would be awaiting results. The night was longer than planned because there was a missing card and another corrupt card. We left the building around 2 a.m. Both of us were hashed...
Today was another leasure day. I helped his family clean out the garage and we went car shopping with his sister. I also plugged in to his network and picked up another 800+ songs. feliz...
Saturday, October 28, 2006
Wendy's Desk
I am chilling on the NiPox shift tonight and staring at things that are at Wendy's desk. She has a lot of quotes and I wanted to share some of them with you:
"Though we travel the world over to find the beautiful, we must carry it with us or we find it not."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
"Taking pictures is savoring life intensely, every hundreth."
- Marc Riboud
"The penalty for refusing to participate in politics is you end up being governed by your inferiors."
- Plato
"The secret to success is:
Find out where the people are going and get there first."
- Mark Twain
"When once you have tasted flight,
you will forever walk the earth
with your eyes turned skyward,
for there you have been, and there
you will always long to return."
- Leonardo da Vinci
"Though we travel the world over to find the beautiful, we must carry it with us or we find it not."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
"Taking pictures is savoring life intensely, every hundreth."
- Marc Riboud
"The penalty for refusing to participate in politics is you end up being governed by your inferiors."
- Plato
"The secret to success is:
Find out where the people are going and get there first."
- Mark Twain
"When once you have tasted flight,
you will forever walk the earth
with your eyes turned skyward,
for there you have been, and there
you will always long to return."
- Leonardo da Vinci
Ugly Betty
I am not sure why this show catches my attention, or why I am drawn to watch it. There is something about Betty Suarez that I connect with.
Betty is this sweet spirited misfit in the middle of fashion's hottest. She works so hard to get people to like her and there is so much she stands to learn about the big bad world. Betty is highly intelligent and yet so naive...
Tonight I watched two episodes online and there were some things that caught my attention.
In the first episode I watched, the Christmas photo spread is leaked and Betty was part of it. She is forced to stay quiet by two co-workers who value their jobs at Mode Magazine more than ethics. As she struggles with this, she tries to tell Daniel (her boss) that she was part of the leak. He tells her he doesn't want to know because he would rather have her at the office than fired.
A long the way, several people tell Betty that sometimes it is OK to keep secrets. She struggles with this (and I admire her courage).
In one scene, she is in the kitchen with her father. He tells her, "You know, Betty, sometimes we have to keep secrets to stay alive."
I thought about this for a minute and wondered if that were necesarily true. For Betty, it has proven to be her savior when she tells the truth and faces reality. I believe that for most of us, that is true and the way it should be.
The episode goes further with the closing scene when Vivian says, "Snow is a magical blanket. It hides what's ugly and makes everything beautiful."
What do you think about this?
In the second episode, Betty is struggling between Walter (who cheated on her and begged to have her back) and Henry (the accounting nerd at Mode). Both have great qualities. Both are stand-up guys.
What Betty is struggling with is Walter is her first and Henry is this guy who comes along at the wrong time (because Betty started dating Walter again). She talks to the wardrobe lady about her dilema and is really frustrated.
What caught my attention is the advice Betty was given, "Butterflies don't mate for life."
I think sometimes we get caught up in that first special person in our life and refuse to look beyond them. It is important that we get out there and "flit" around.
Too, just because one person flies away doesn't mean that life is over. There will be someone else out there who is greater and will be better in your life. Don't get stuck on that one person knowing that you can, and deserve, better.
Betty is this sweet spirited misfit in the middle of fashion's hottest. She works so hard to get people to like her and there is so much she stands to learn about the big bad world. Betty is highly intelligent and yet so naive...
Tonight I watched two episodes online and there were some things that caught my attention.
In the first episode I watched, the Christmas photo spread is leaked and Betty was part of it. She is forced to stay quiet by two co-workers who value their jobs at Mode Magazine more than ethics. As she struggles with this, she tries to tell Daniel (her boss) that she was part of the leak. He tells her he doesn't want to know because he would rather have her at the office than fired.
A long the way, several people tell Betty that sometimes it is OK to keep secrets. She struggles with this (and I admire her courage).
In one scene, she is in the kitchen with her father. He tells her, "You know, Betty, sometimes we have to keep secrets to stay alive."
I thought about this for a minute and wondered if that were necesarily true. For Betty, it has proven to be her savior when she tells the truth and faces reality. I believe that for most of us, that is true and the way it should be.
The episode goes further with the closing scene when Vivian says, "Snow is a magical blanket. It hides what's ugly and makes everything beautiful."
What do you think about this?
In the second episode, Betty is struggling between Walter (who cheated on her and begged to have her back) and Henry (the accounting nerd at Mode). Both have great qualities. Both are stand-up guys.
What Betty is struggling with is Walter is her first and Henry is this guy who comes along at the wrong time (because Betty started dating Walter again). She talks to the wardrobe lady about her dilema and is really frustrated.
What caught my attention is the advice Betty was given, "Butterflies don't mate for life."
I think sometimes we get caught up in that first special person in our life and refuse to look beyond them. It is important that we get out there and "flit" around.
Too, just because one person flies away doesn't mean that life is over. There will be someone else out there who is greater and will be better in your life. Don't get stuck on that one person knowing that you can, and deserve, better.
Suapai, AZ
What an incredible trip!
We started off on Tuesday south toward Arizona. I got to Jeff's house about 30 min late because of a wreck on I-15. Anyhow, it was ok because we set off and things were great.
Jeff and I chatted, things were good and we looked forward to a great trip. Being that I did not get much sleep the night before, I crashed just after Vegas. I was awake long enough to cross the Hoover Dam (no, we didn't take a dam tour, any dam pictures or ask any dam questions...).
We got to Havasupi Hilltop around 5 p.m., threw our bags on our backs and started down the eight mile trail. The first mile consists of one mile of downhill switchbacks, and I mean downhill. On the way we met these guys who said we were going to have another 2.5 hrs ahead of us. We thought we were really in for it.
We cruised along at about 5 mph and at 7:30 p.m. MST it was too dark to continue walking. Crazy me forgot her head lamp and so Jeff was the only one with light, with the exception of my cell phone. We pitched camp, Jeff built a fire (which was a no-no) and we lit the stove to make dinner.
The next morning we got up and started walking, thinking there was a long ways ahead of us. We encountered the supply train on the way in and Jeff went chasing after the guy and his mules for about 0.5 miles. Somehow, we thought that it might be the only time we saw the train. Little did we know that we would see another six trains that same day, and each day Monday through Friday.
Anyhow, it took us 30 minutes to get in to town. The guys we encountered were off their rockers. We finished the 8 mile journey in 2.5 hours (which we were told was pretty dang fast).
As we walked in to town, it was beautiful. Supai sits in the bottom of the Grand Canyon and it is such a contrast. Walking further in to the city, we saw a church and realized it was an LDS church. There was a missionary couple sitting on the front porch who waved at us. Jeff and I looked at each other and decided we would go say hello.
It was that salutaion that made the difference in our whole trip. Amazing how the Lord blessed us and opened doors for us. Elder and Sister Jasper introduced us to a sister, who then introduced us to many other people.
Keep in mind this tribe is super media shy. We were bitting our fingernails thinking we would have to come back to SLC with our tails between our legs. However, because of the Lord's blessings we have great photos and a great story (I just have to write it now).
Carol Rogers was our poc. She was shy at first, but wonderful at introducing us to everyone. What a sweet spirit.
As we were talking with the missionaries, they informed us of many events going on that day. It provided many great opportunities for photos. We took some portraits, a school parade and encountered many other great people.
Jeff and I went in to town and never made it to the camp ground to drop our stuff off. In the end, we left our packs at the church because we would be going back that way later in the day.
In town, we chilled for roughly two hours on a bench in front of the cafe. It was great to sit and observe people, how they interacted and the strange tourists that found their way to Supai. We also got hailed on, which was interesting to see how quickly the weather can change.
There was this one couple. They had to be European. The guy was wearing these hot pink and navy blue short shorts (which he shouldn't have been wearing), and the girl was in white 3/4 pants and shoes. This place is full of dirt, red clayey dirt. Holy cow... It just amazes me how people dress for certain occassions.
Then there was Fonsi. He stood in front of the grocery store, hat on crooked, headphones on and he was talking to himself and the dog in front of him. Jeff and I came to the conclusion that he was not mentally well. It was interesting to watch him yell at the dog and walk around nervously.
Jeff and I left town a little later than planned and hiked to the campground in the dark. Pitching camp I was so tired. My feet were tired from walking all day and my back was feeling the weight of my over-packed backpack.
The next morning we got up and hiked to the falls. We got to two of the four (Havasu and Mooney Falls). We tried to get to Beaver Falls, but we could not find it. Navajo Falls got passed up as we were hiking out because we were leaving later than planned.
The falls are gorgeous. However, I came to the determination that the best time to shoot them is during the afternoon/evening because you get more light.
The hike out was the killer. It took us 3.5 hrs to get out and during the last 1.5 miles I had to keep telling myself to put one foot in front of the other. My back was dying as I struggled up the hill. My knee and ankle were also giving me grief...
The trip was great and you will have to read the story when it comes out. I am not sure I will be able to do the tribe justice, but I am going to certainly try. When I get a chance, I will also throw some photos on here as well...
We started off on Tuesday south toward Arizona. I got to Jeff's house about 30 min late because of a wreck on I-15. Anyhow, it was ok because we set off and things were great.
Jeff and I chatted, things were good and we looked forward to a great trip. Being that I did not get much sleep the night before, I crashed just after Vegas. I was awake long enough to cross the Hoover Dam (no, we didn't take a dam tour, any dam pictures or ask any dam questions...).
We got to Havasupi Hilltop around 5 p.m., threw our bags on our backs and started down the eight mile trail. The first mile consists of one mile of downhill switchbacks, and I mean downhill. On the way we met these guys who said we were going to have another 2.5 hrs ahead of us. We thought we were really in for it.
We cruised along at about 5 mph and at 7:30 p.m. MST it was too dark to continue walking. Crazy me forgot her head lamp and so Jeff was the only one with light, with the exception of my cell phone. We pitched camp, Jeff built a fire (which was a no-no) and we lit the stove to make dinner.
The next morning we got up and started walking, thinking there was a long ways ahead of us. We encountered the supply train on the way in and Jeff went chasing after the guy and his mules for about 0.5 miles. Somehow, we thought that it might be the only time we saw the train. Little did we know that we would see another six trains that same day, and each day Monday through Friday.
Anyhow, it took us 30 minutes to get in to town. The guys we encountered were off their rockers. We finished the 8 mile journey in 2.5 hours (which we were told was pretty dang fast).
As we walked in to town, it was beautiful. Supai sits in the bottom of the Grand Canyon and it is such a contrast. Walking further in to the city, we saw a church and realized it was an LDS church. There was a missionary couple sitting on the front porch who waved at us. Jeff and I looked at each other and decided we would go say hello.
It was that salutaion that made the difference in our whole trip. Amazing how the Lord blessed us and opened doors for us. Elder and Sister Jasper introduced us to a sister, who then introduced us to many other people.
Keep in mind this tribe is super media shy. We were bitting our fingernails thinking we would have to come back to SLC with our tails between our legs. However, because of the Lord's blessings we have great photos and a great story (I just have to write it now).
Carol Rogers was our poc. She was shy at first, but wonderful at introducing us to everyone. What a sweet spirit.
As we were talking with the missionaries, they informed us of many events going on that day. It provided many great opportunities for photos. We took some portraits, a school parade and encountered many other great people.
Jeff and I went in to town and never made it to the camp ground to drop our stuff off. In the end, we left our packs at the church because we would be going back that way later in the day.
In town, we chilled for roughly two hours on a bench in front of the cafe. It was great to sit and observe people, how they interacted and the strange tourists that found their way to Supai. We also got hailed on, which was interesting to see how quickly the weather can change.
There was this one couple. They had to be European. The guy was wearing these hot pink and navy blue short shorts (which he shouldn't have been wearing), and the girl was in white 3/4 pants and shoes. This place is full of dirt, red clayey dirt. Holy cow... It just amazes me how people dress for certain occassions.
Then there was Fonsi. He stood in front of the grocery store, hat on crooked, headphones on and he was talking to himself and the dog in front of him. Jeff and I came to the conclusion that he was not mentally well. It was interesting to watch him yell at the dog and walk around nervously.
Jeff and I left town a little later than planned and hiked to the campground in the dark. Pitching camp I was so tired. My feet were tired from walking all day and my back was feeling the weight of my over-packed backpack.
The next morning we got up and hiked to the falls. We got to two of the four (Havasu and Mooney Falls). We tried to get to Beaver Falls, but we could not find it. Navajo Falls got passed up as we were hiking out because we were leaving later than planned.
The falls are gorgeous. However, I came to the determination that the best time to shoot them is during the afternoon/evening because you get more light.
The hike out was the killer. It took us 3.5 hrs to get out and during the last 1.5 miles I had to keep telling myself to put one foot in front of the other. My back was dying as I struggled up the hill. My knee and ankle were also giving me grief...
The trip was great and you will have to read the story when it comes out. I am not sure I will be able to do the tribe justice, but I am going to certainly try. When I get a chance, I will also throw some photos on here as well...
Friday, October 20, 2006
Guilt
"either let the guilt throw you back in to the behavior that got you in to trouble in the first place, or learn from the guilt and move on."
- Meradith Grey, Grey's Anatomy
- Meradith Grey, Grey's Anatomy
Wednesday, October 18, 2006
When do things change?
"Enough! This is not dating! I want moonlight and flowers and candy and people trying to feel me up. Nobody is trying to feel me up. Nobody is even looking at me... Do the two of you have any idea of how much effort it takes to do all of this? I'm waxed and plucked and I have a clean top on... No talking until one of you figures out how to put on a date. I want heat, I want romance, damnit I want to feel like a freaking lady!"
- Meradith Grey, Grey's Anatomy
Elle and I had an interesting conversation yesterday.
I was driving home from Logan after watching Extreme Makeover: Home Edition demolish a house. She called me for one thing and we talked about another.
When you are with someone, what happens to going out on a date? Things normally start off good when people are figuring out if they like the other person or not. To woo that person, there is dating, semi-deep conversations, etc. Then as things progress, the dating is exchanged for a thing called "hanging out." Such an activity results in things like this, this, and this. Not that any of these things are bad, however you will notice none of these activities are lending to pairing off and conversing.
One of my favorite CES Fireside talks came when I was seeing a boy who seemed to think that dating wasn't necessary for us because we had been together for so long. It was such a disfunctional, non-progressive situation and there were many times I wanted to scream because there wasn't dating, which to me is a sign that you want to do something out of the ordinary and spend some quality time together.
By quality time, I mean going out and doing something together that you both enjoy. It doesn't have to cost a dime, but you are learning about each other and sharing your lives and interests.
I believe that if you fall out of the habit of going out on dates when you are in a relationship, you will not carry that into your marriage. If this practice is not carried into a marriage, the relationship will become stagnant and will be heading for trouble.
In The Dedication of a Lifetime Elder Dallin H. Oaks said:
"Knowledgeable observers report that dating has nearly disappeared from college campuses and among young adults generally. It has been replaced by something called "hanging out" ... Unlike hanging out, dating it not a team sport. Dating is pairing off to experience the kind of one-on-one association and temporary commitment that can lead to marriage, in some rare and treasured cases ... Marriage is not a group activity - at least not until the children come along in goodly numbers."
Elder Oaks then goes on to talk about some contributing factors of the extinction of dating.
1. The cultural tides in our world run strongly against commitments in family relationships ... Whatever draws us away from commitments weakens our capacity to participate in the plan. Dating involves commitments, if only for a few hours. Hanging out requires no commitments ...
2. The leveling effect of the women's movement has contributed to discourage dating. Women have become more aggressive and some men have become reluctant to ask girls out on dates.
3. Hanging out is glamorized on TV programs about singles.
4. The meaning and significance of a "date" has also changed in such a way as to price dating out of the market ... The more elaborate and expensive the date, the fewer dates. As dates become fewer and more elaborate, this seems to create an expectation that a date implies seriousness or continuing commitment.
"Gone is the clumsy and inexpensive phone call your parents and grandparents and I used to make. That call went something like this: "What're ya doing tonight? How about a movie?" Or, "How about tkaing a walk downtown?" Cheap dates like that can be frequent and nonthreatening, since they don't seem to imply a continuing commitment ...
"The old-fashioned date was a wonderful way to get aquainted with a member of the opposite sex. It encouraged conversation. It allowed you to see how you treat others and how you are treated in a one-on-one situation. It gave opportunities to learn how to initiate and sustain a mature relationship. None of that happens in hanging out."
As girls, our expecations are not high that we always do something that costs money or that requires something extravagant.
I remember one of my favorite dates. It happened in September (yes, I have gone out on one somewhat recently) and I had no idea what we would be doing. We drove to the top of a mountain and cooked dinner over a Coleman stove. It was simple and fun. I had a good time and it was quite the adventure. In fact, all of my dates that I have enjoyed most have been simple and fun.
"Young women, resist too much hanging out, and encourage dates that are simple, inexpensive, and frequent. Don't make it easy for young men to hang out in a setting where you women provide the food. Don't subsidize freeloaders. An occasional group activity is okay, but when you see men who make hanging out their primary interaction with the opposite sex, I think you should lock the pantry and bolt the front door.
"If you do this, you should also hang out a sign, "Will open for individual dates," or something like that. And, young women, please make it easier for these shy males to ask for a simple, inexpensive date."
As Meradith put it so well, "I'm waxed and plucked and I have a clean top on... No talking until one of you figures out how to put on a date. I want heat, I want romance, damnit I want to feel like a freaking lady!"
- Meradith Grey, Grey's Anatomy
Elle and I had an interesting conversation yesterday.
I was driving home from Logan after watching Extreme Makeover: Home Edition demolish a house. She called me for one thing and we talked about another.
When you are with someone, what happens to going out on a date? Things normally start off good when people are figuring out if they like the other person or not. To woo that person, there is dating, semi-deep conversations, etc. Then as things progress, the dating is exchanged for a thing called "hanging out." Such an activity results in things like this, this, and this. Not that any of these things are bad, however you will notice none of these activities are lending to pairing off and conversing.
One of my favorite CES Fireside talks came when I was seeing a boy who seemed to think that dating wasn't necessary for us because we had been together for so long. It was such a disfunctional, non-progressive situation and there were many times I wanted to scream because there wasn't dating, which to me is a sign that you want to do something out of the ordinary and spend some quality time together.
By quality time, I mean going out and doing something together that you both enjoy. It doesn't have to cost a dime, but you are learning about each other and sharing your lives and interests.
I believe that if you fall out of the habit of going out on dates when you are in a relationship, you will not carry that into your marriage. If this practice is not carried into a marriage, the relationship will become stagnant and will be heading for trouble.
In The Dedication of a Lifetime Elder Dallin H. Oaks said:
"Knowledgeable observers report that dating has nearly disappeared from college campuses and among young adults generally. It has been replaced by something called "hanging out" ... Unlike hanging out, dating it not a team sport. Dating is pairing off to experience the kind of one-on-one association and temporary commitment that can lead to marriage, in some rare and treasured cases ... Marriage is not a group activity - at least not until the children come along in goodly numbers."
Elder Oaks then goes on to talk about some contributing factors of the extinction of dating.
1. The cultural tides in our world run strongly against commitments in family relationships ... Whatever draws us away from commitments weakens our capacity to participate in the plan. Dating involves commitments, if only for a few hours. Hanging out requires no commitments ...
2. The leveling effect of the women's movement has contributed to discourage dating. Women have become more aggressive and some men have become reluctant to ask girls out on dates.
3. Hanging out is glamorized on TV programs about singles.
4. The meaning and significance of a "date" has also changed in such a way as to price dating out of the market ... The more elaborate and expensive the date, the fewer dates. As dates become fewer and more elaborate, this seems to create an expectation that a date implies seriousness or continuing commitment.
"Gone is the clumsy and inexpensive phone call your parents and grandparents and I used to make. That call went something like this: "What're ya doing tonight? How about a movie?" Or, "How about tkaing a walk downtown?" Cheap dates like that can be frequent and nonthreatening, since they don't seem to imply a continuing commitment ...
"The old-fashioned date was a wonderful way to get aquainted with a member of the opposite sex. It encouraged conversation. It allowed you to see how you treat others and how you are treated in a one-on-one situation. It gave opportunities to learn how to initiate and sustain a mature relationship. None of that happens in hanging out."
As girls, our expecations are not high that we always do something that costs money or that requires something extravagant.
I remember one of my favorite dates. It happened in September (yes, I have gone out on one somewhat recently) and I had no idea what we would be doing. We drove to the top of a mountain and cooked dinner over a Coleman stove. It was simple and fun. I had a good time and it was quite the adventure. In fact, all of my dates that I have enjoyed most have been simple and fun.
"Young women, resist too much hanging out, and encourage dates that are simple, inexpensive, and frequent. Don't make it easy for young men to hang out in a setting where you women provide the food. Don't subsidize freeloaders. An occasional group activity is okay, but when you see men who make hanging out their primary interaction with the opposite sex, I think you should lock the pantry and bolt the front door.
"If you do this, you should also hang out a sign, "Will open for individual dates," or something like that. And, young women, please make it easier for these shy males to ask for a simple, inexpensive date."
As Meradith put it so well, "I'm waxed and plucked and I have a clean top on... No talking until one of you figures out how to put on a date. I want heat, I want romance, damnit I want to feel like a freaking lady!"
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