I am listening to this talk on tape and learning a lot in the process (I would imagine that was the point...). It is called "For All Eternity." Although, I am thinking it may not be the best name for the book.
I am learning more about communication patterns than I am about eternal marriage.
At the beginning there was a phrase that struck me: "Communication is an exhange of understanding."
This is so true, because we have ears and can be gabbing all we want, but the other person may not be getting it. There is an interesting medical stat that accompanies this:
A man will engage in 7,000 communication skills a day. They have an efficiency issue with words (i.e. say what you need to say in as few words as possible).
A woman will use 21,000 communication skills a day. Holy cow! Gab, gab, gab... There is also an internalization that goes on. Women think about everything. For example, their significant other says, "I like that red dress." Girl thinks: "Should I get a red dress?" "Would he like me more if I wore red?" "I should wear more red." on and on and on... This is the mind of women guys.
So, women gab, gab, gab and the man still may not understand what she wants to say. It is only when there is understanding on both sides, dual communication, that effective communication takes place. "Just because people talk and listen doesn't mean they're communicating," said Dr. Lund.
Building upon the gabbing, Dr. Lund said that men don't trust women and that is why they don't talk a lot. "Men are very cautious about sharing information."
This is one thing that I don't much understand. I have to work hard with my guy friends to get them to trust me to open up and talk. Normally, it is not very hard for me because they know I am not going to go out and tell everyone, let alone anyone. I think this is one of the reasons I am able to gain my sources trust so much.
There is so much that I know about people, I could have favors from now through the rest of my life. But that is not why i do it, nor how I intend to use it. I am the way I am because I have a sense of loyalty inside of me. I want people to trust me and know that I can trust them. In no moment do I ever intend to burn someone, because I know what it feels like with left over scars.
I think that if we could gain a certain amount of trust with one another, our lives would be much simpler. It is almost like establishing what is "on" and "off" the record. The old adage says it well: Loose lips sink ships.
1 comment:
Communication is such an adamant and prevalent way of helping one infer the ken between the two. - T. Hansen
With communication being a main focus in my life, self-mastery pushes me to have a synchronization of my will and my Father in Heavens will by expressing those very gifts that he has blessed me with. I love being able to communication in so many different ways, I always come to the knowledge of how accountable I'll be in the judgement for sharings of what I have acquired through the spirit. The more I talk to Brandy and get to know her to become a better friend, she is very well at communicating thru writing, talking.......she does well but professes that she doesn't always say what she wants to say but I don't know that because it seems to me that she says what she wants to say or else she wouldn't say it.....(sorry....deep thought, hahaha) Anyhow, Communication is great!!
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