Men

I read this article today entitled, "Too successful for a mate?" It was quite interesting. I will admit as I read through the first page, I thought to myself it was another article talking about the successful roles of women and why men are scared of them.

But when I got to the second page, I was a little surprised the article took a softer turn. The author asked, "So what's a girl to do? Review your expectations. (Hold on, I didn't say lower them. I said review them.)"

Review your expectations? Well, I should get what I want right? Right down to the Ph.D., perfect smile, and huge house! Really? Is that what you really want?

The author continues, "I abandoned the expectation of many "must-have" items in my years of dating before I met my husband. It's not that I couldn't find a man who possessed the right qualities, but it turned out they were irrelevant to a happy relationship. Was it crucial that my husband have a master's degree? No. Would it be a deal- breaker if he didn't love mountain biking as much as I do? No.

"In the end, common values and goals, generosity, intelligence, respect, a warped sense of humor and a mutual attraction floated to the top of the list. Nearly everything else on that list was negotiable, including income and educational attainment."

I have noticed as I get older the things that were once so important to me are no longer of the same importance. However, there are things which reign supreme for me.

Communication is a huge must! This doesn't mean he has to be perfect at it, but he must be willing to work on it. I believe so many problems can be avoided if people will communicate openly and honestly.

Another must for me is commitment. This is why so many of the women, in my opinion, are moving on with their lives and the men seem to be floundering around. Women are willing to commit and do. So many of the guys I meet lately say they want something and then when it comes down to it, they back out.

I am at a point in my life where I don't have the time or energy to chase. Reciprocating attention is something different because effort is made by both parties. I want to be pursued by someone who is willing to take the time to get to know me and in turn me get to know them.

So, while I do believe we may have to take another look at our "expectations", I believe guys need to get some guts to make a commitment and stop floating around in life and using excuses.