Ruminations

It's 2:45 a.m. and I should be in the middle of some kind of deep sleep cycle, but I sit here and type. I am not sure if anything will make sense, but I am not sure that I ever make sense. So many things have happened in my life over the last months. I have been a terrible journal writer, so I am sure they are memories lost to time.

A few months ago I was released from my calling. It was totally unexpected and I really felt like I was being chastised. From there I am sure people in my ward thought I was going inactive. I bounced from ward to ward for certain activities and even contemplated finding a new ward. But I didn't really feel any motivation to move in that direction, so I pulled my attitude out of the ditch and told myself to shape up. It's been an awesome road that led to changes that were most necessary in my life.

About a month later I was called into the office and I knew that my time of "rest" was up. They called me to be a Gospel Principles teacher. Santa vaca! Teaching in front of a group is certainly not one of my fortes. But I knew Heavenly Father had enough faith in me that I could do it. I have taught three lessons, and also been asked to teach in Relief Society once. It's been an interesting experience and I know that as long as I do my part, study, and prepare, the Lord fills my mouth with the words that need to be spoken.

School started about a month ago and mid-term's have already come and gone. I have some really good kids, and I have some who are just looking to get by. Realizing this, I am definitely changing my syllabus for Spring semester. Giving students too much leeway early on is not a goo thing and only seems to promote laziness. There is much yet to be learned, but I know everything is a work in process.

In November comes the nasty Praxis exam for Art, and at some later date I need to take one for Spanish. All of this and some other classes I am working on in order to obtain my teaching license. If I really pushed myself, I could have everything done by next summer. But I am not sure that will happen because I will also be working on my final project for my Master's in that time frame. So, we'll see :)

The big day to walk across the stage is May 8 up in Spokane, WA. I am excited and not so much all in the same breath. While I will be walking, I won't be completely done. It will be so nice to be done, and in the same breathe I can't believe I am already looking at PhD programs. I have one picked, but I need two years of teaching under my belt. So, we will see what life holds for me then. Crazy stuff...

Many things are happening in my life, in our house, and all around. The more I learn the more amazed I am at God's beauty and grace. We are certainly blessed to live in this time, and also challenged to choose who's side we are on. The world grows increasingly evil, while we are challenged to remain faithful and pure.

God has given me many tender mercies. Some of them I see and some of them I don't. But I am grateful for them all. Change is good, and I have had many in the last few weeks. I know that everything in my life happens for a reason, and at the appointed time as long as I am Listening and where I am supposed to be. Many amazing people have come into my life, some old and some new. How grateful I am for them and their awesome spirits!

"Friendship is one of the grand fundamental principles of Mormonism," said Joseph Smith. "It unites the human family with its happy influence." How blessed we are to have brothers and sisters all around us to buoy us up in times of need. How bless we are to have the Gospel, and every reaching happiness that will help us return Home.