The High

Today I did something epic. I ran 7.5 miles! Never in my life have I run that far, or thought to run that far. I always joked, made excuses, or said I couldn't because of an injury.

Perhaps teaching has taught me more about myself than I think. I see students everyday joking about their education, making excuses, and saying they can't because of something lame. There were, and are, times in my life when I did that. But I am tired of being mediocre, of not doing those things that I really can do.

This morning was a total mind game with myself. When I started running, I told myself I was going to run to a certain place and then back. Upon arrival, I felt good and told myself I was going to the next point of interest. When I got there, I didn't want to go back the same way so I routed myself back to the house via a different trail.

Each time I was only going to go so far, but I continued to push myself. There was a high that came with pushing myself and realizing I was doing something huge. My pace continued to be steady the whole time as I ran up and down hills, and around turns. It was amazing!

The scenery was beautiful. It was so much more running outside than it is running on the track in circles, or on the treadmill. I am beginning to understand why people run. It's rough on my body because I am still not where I would like to be with weight, but I am, and will, be getting there.

There are many things in my life that I am discovering / doing for the first time. Often, I have asked why I waited so long. But looking back with regret doesn't matter as much as moving forward with accomplishment. We can always look back and wonder, but it is literally water under the bridge. It has come and gone, and there is nothing more we can do about it. The most important question is: What will you do with your present and your future?

While I worry about my present and future, I am secure in knowing that I can still make things right. I am learning important lessons and I am looking forward to the day of freedom. It will require more discipline than I have had and / or placed in my plan. Things will be tighter, but they will be better.

Rules form my life. While I push against them, they define who I am. The Gospel and it's principles define who I am spiritually, and hopefully who I am temporally as I learn and grow. Many things are black and white for me, and I believe that is how life will become increasingly in the future.

Things are evolving in life and causing me to reflect on potential things for the future. While I say that I am prepared, I am far from it. Somehow, I believe Heavenly Father is waiting for me to turn my life right-side-up before He will help me on to my next step. I must continue on my path to find out what else Heavenly Father needs me to do before the desires of my heart can be realized.