It has been a weird time of year for me. Normally this is my favorite. It's not for the gifts, the romance (which is a rarity), or any of the other material things. I love this time of year because people turn from a selfish focus (mostly) to a focus of others and service.
But this year something was different.
My tree was up before Thanksgiving and I loved to sit in my living room at night with just the glow of the tree. I didn't purchase any gifts (just like I haven't for several years). But I struggled to figure out what I was going to "give". People asked me what I wanted and I couldn't think of anything, nor did I worry if I received anything. Oddly enough, I didn't even really feel the Spirit of Christmas like I normally do.
I struggled to know why this was. A few key indicators point to why (extra stress, a new job, lack of my other one, focus on things that are trivial, etc.). I asked to feel, to experience something ... Nothing for a few days ... I didn't even feel like doing anything (my calling, preparing my lesson, serving, etc.).
Still struggling ... ugh! ... Then it came ...
In the quiet of the temple on a night when a friend was taking out his endowments and preparing for a mission. I stood in the Celestial Room apart from the crowd. My heart marveled at the reception of friends and family. I love watching this occurrence any time I get the privilege. It takes my mind to a place where this happens daily in the presence of loved ones who have passed on, who great those who are taking that next step to move on.
Is this what the reception is like in the Spirit World? Will this be what it is like one day for us?
There are always tears (usually from mom), hugs, and lots of smiles. Everyone gathers round together, and for a moment Heaven connects with Earth as the eternal bonds of family are strengthened. In those brief moments God smiles down upon His children with joy.
Then, perhaps my lesson for the evening ...
In our party were two future missionaries. The second one was a little more unassuming and quiet than Cameron. However, I watched as he slowly pulled away from his party with tears in his eyes. He found a chair, sat down, and bowed his head. When he looked up, it was as if he was trying to hide those tears ... But it was all he could do to keep them wiped away.
My heart swelled for this young man. Somehow I believe he understood something more than most people do when the enter the House of the Lord for the first time (even if it was just a small portion). Perhaps it was an inkling of his understanding of God's love and desires for him.
Then it came to me so softly ... "Christmas isn't about the hustle and bustle, gifts, food, or anything material for that matter ... It's about a little boy of no means who became a Savior, who went about doing good continually, and gave us the Ultimate gift; then giving that gift in return by using His gift as an example."
In that moment I felt peace and a moment of Christmas. Once I left the walls of the temple though I felt the weight of the world come back down on me. But for the past week I have held on to that small moment and cherished it. It may not be like Christmases past, but it was at least peaceful and without too much drama ...
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