Butterflies

I remember as a little girl in elementary school there were a few times of the year we looked forward to in being able to go outside. One was during the Monarch butterfly migration. There would be hundreds, if not thousands, everywhere. We would chase them, capture them, and sometimes accidentally maim them in our excitement.

What fascinating creatures. Born a seemingly ordinary caterpillar, destined to become a beautiful flying creature. Touch their wings and the magic that was a butterfly was gone.

I have always been in love with butterflies. They are not only a beautiful metaphor for life, but unique and varying all in their own ways. They feed, they pollinate, they beautify. An interesting creature in its own right.

Tonight I think about them in regards to their journeys. Often they are long, hard, and many don't survive. Sometimes, I believe those we love are the same.

My grandmother once shared with me this simple statement when I was struggling with a broken heart, "Sometimes people are like butterflies and need to go out on a journey. If they come back to you, it means they are meant to be yours. If they don't, you need to move on."

In our lives there are very few that come back. For whatever reason, they were ours for a moment in time and then they are gone. We can't explain it; we often don't understand; and maybe it's better that way.

Throughout my life, there have been many different kinds of butterflies that have come and gone. Looking back, I am glad many of them have gone on to their new adventures because as much as I justified wanting them to be with me, it was better they weren't.

 

Butterflies are an interesting group. They start their lives as a caterpillar. Oftentimes those caterpillars are attractive, but they pose a danger: they are poisonous. Before they get a chance to become what they really are, they defend themselves by poisoning those who just want to love and admire them. All this does is leave a bad taste in the mouths of those who just want to admire and be with them.

Many other butterflies have a defense mechanism where they are able to blend in with the foliage they feed on and fertilize. They go relatively unnoticed and they like it that way. But for many they will miss out on the beautiful opportunity to become acquainted with the creature.

Now, the purpose of this post was not to talk about all the metaphors I could put together about people and butterflies. It was to talk about that feeling you get when that special person comes in to your life and you feel that rush of excitement and you're trying to capture such a fascinating moment / feeling. There are few times I have really felt it. In fact, I am pretty sure I can count it on one hand (I can probably name the people).

That same fascination I felt with capturing butterflies, I feel in capturing the moment between two people that moves you inside. It is not an every day feeling. Someone once said, "Love isn't about the 'I love you's' or 'I miss you's'. Love is about the butterflies you get when you think of him. It’s the chills that run up and down your spine whenever you see him and its the pain that hits every inch of your body when he walks away ..."

I have honestly been chewing on and writing this post for months. Longer than months really. Recently my experience with this has been an interesting transformation. A friend once wrote me a note and said I was the butterfly waiting to come out of the cocoon. In fact, I still have the purple butterfly she gave me in my rough, sculptured hands. 

In my life I have never wanted to be the stinging caterpillar, or the butterfly who blends in to go unnoticed. I have wanted to be the beautiful creature God intended me to be. But there are some set-backs and some tough journeys. Often when we are in a caterpillar state, we look at what is going on around us and only see the end of the world. When the fact-of-the-matter is, the Master is in the process of creating a butterfly. 

The journey is long and tough; the butterflies will not always be there; there will be moments when we need to help and lift each other to new heights; and the end result will not always be what we want it to be. But those who do survive, beautify this world by adding to it. The love between two people is something unique, but it takes hard work.

Listening to Elder and Sister Holland today, he was talking about how after 48 years he is still madly in love with her. I know that feeling does not come over night. They have had there fair share of trials they have strengthened their wings. But what a gift to be more in love 48 years later. 

It's the kind of love that comes from support, a shared vision, and overcoming obstacles. We must not crush the delicate creature in our excitement. Sometimes that is what brings the untimely demise: smothering, lack of knowledge, etc. 

Then I think of the power of a butterfly. They say it can affect climate change on the other side of the world. Our love. Finding that person who we share that feeling with. We too can affect change in the world. Elder Bruce R. McConkie said celestial marriage is the crowning jewel of the Gospel. These covenants give us the power to bring souls to the earth, to solidify and strengthen families, and fight the battle against Satan. 

In all, we must be delicate. We must give the butterflies in our life the space they need to figure out the world around them. Like my grandmother said, "If they come back, it's because they are yours." Because if we chase, grab at, and harm the butterfly, it will not only stay away, but it could very well die. 

But just like the butterfly, I will awake in my own time to a new perspective and perhaps understanding the trials and difficulty of transformation weren't so bad at all.