Getting Old

I think I'm getting old. Life is sweet when I am slow. And it is even sweeter when I ruminate on it.

Pleasures are found in the simple things. Technology is cool, but it no longer holds the infamous blue-glow hold. I find joy in learning about it, but I no longer feel myself glued to it. My cell phone can be left places and I am OK it is not immediately by my side.

While my hands feel they are connected to this computer as I work to spew my knowledge into digital files called a thesis, I don't feel a pull to be on it all the time. In a way, I am excited for my classes to be over. At the same time, I offer a fond farewell to the wealth of knowledge and long for more.

Thanks to teaching and my longing for learning, I feel my dear friend and I will not be disconnected for long. I would be happily content in a small house full of walled bookshelves, a large yard with a beautiful garden, and a lovely porch where I could enjoy a breezy afternoon. My dear friend and I would connect through life experiences and solitary mornings and evenings.

My eyes have been continually opened evermore to pondering about the important things in life. Is life made up of things? It is made up of our house? Our car? Pieces of paper? If you had minutes to leave your house, what is most valuable that you would feel an absolute need to take with you? Is there anything of "real" value in your life?

Going to Nauvoo opened my eyes to an evaluation of my personal life. Their lives were lived contentedly in homes that were most often 10'x20'. They had only those things they needed, and were self-sufficient. Packing up was not hard for them because as long as they had their family, they had everything that was important to them.

My home is slightly bigger than the "large" two-level homes of their day. There are only two of us here. I have things that I either don't need or have not used in a long time. When I am done with my paper, I am going to take some time in evaluation and gift or sell those things that are merely taking up  space in my home.

I look forward to simplifying my life. Lately I have told God that if I am blessed with an abundant life, I will live simply and share the means I have. Even if my life doesn't have abundance, I will do my best to share all that God has given me, both tangible and intangible.

What I have really isn't mine. But sometimes I think I "have" too much. God is good to me, but sometimes I don't know that I am as good in return. Perhaps in my old age, I will learn more ;)