"You always have a choice. It's just that some people make the wrong one," wrote Nicholas Sparks in a novel. This comes from the author who is famous for writing books that require some kind of choice on the part of the main character. Life is full of choices we need to make, and sometimes we don't take the right path.
These photos visually explain the turmoil we go through sometimes. Do I go this way? Do I go that way? Ahh! What do I do?? ... And then there are people in our lives who are helping to give us direction ...
I remember as a child going to California. It may have been one of our cheerleading "family vacations" or some other reason we were going. But the photo of the freeway reminds me of the time we were driving down the freeway and trying to get somewhere. Steve "used to live here" and "I know where I am going." It was a very interesting, tense experience to say the least.
In my naive youth, I held on to the map and quietly said, "We're not going the right way." To which the response was, "I know where I am going!" I shared again that we needed to turn around because our exit had passed. To which I got another reply that basically I didn't know what I was talking about. The tension in the car was so thick you could cut it with a knife.
Well, about 30 minutes later he admitted I was right. We had been driving all over the freeways of Los Angeles lost because he wasn't willing to listen. I had never been to LA, but I had a map. How often do we have a map but we aren't willing to look at it? Or listen to those who have it in their hands?
I share this experience because about 18 years later I was faced with the same experience. This time I was in San Antonio, TX. We were going to the Alamo. I shared that we had missed our exit and the person I was with basically told me I didn't know what I was talking about.
Feeling like I was back in that rental car in LA 18 years earlier, I shut down. I let him navigate and go where he thought he knew was right. Again, I let about 30 minutes pass before I said, "I know you said you know where you are going, but our exit was x-miles back."
He turned the conversation on me and asked why I didn't say something ... Really?? I told him I did and that his response didn't make me want to push the situation. I further explained to him that I lived in a life for 16 years of that kind of response and that I wasn't going to put up with it in my own life.
So, what does this have to do with "love"?
In our lives we encounter people who want to help us. They have a map, or they have recently been down the road. Are we willing to listen, to receive the help? Often love comes in humbling ourselves enough to listen to others, even if they appear to have no experience.
There are enough choices to make in this life and we are not expected to navigate this life alone. Our Heavenly Father's plan includes families so that we not only have a support system, but help in navigating this life.
Perhaps one of the most humbling choices in life comes from the Savior and his Atonement. He knew that we would take wrong turns, miss the exit, fall on our face, and be hurt. Through Him we can always get back on track; through Him we can not only live again physically, but spiritually. Our Savior made the ultimate choice so each of us could have the hope of a better world. But will we follow Him?
Today I came across another song. It was written in ca.1913 by Charles Austin Miles. He too had a choice to make. Miles actually studied pharmacy and abandoned that career to become editor and manager at Hall-Mack Publishers after writing his first gospel song. He later said, "It is as a writer of gospel songs I am proud to be known, for in that way I may be of the most use to my Master, whom I serve willingly although not as efficiently as is my desire."
Enjoy this song as you ponder on the lasting consequences of choice. Are we being efficient with the talents and time God gives us each day on this earth? Are we doing the little things to help those around us feel the Christlike love we have for them? Elder D. Todd Christofferson said:
"Thinking of our daily bread keeps us aware of the details of our lives, of the significance of the small things that occupy our days. Experience teaches that in a marriage, for example, a steady stream of simple kindnesses, help, and attention do much more to keep love alive and nurture the relationship than an occasional grand or expensive gesture. That is not to say, brethren—you who are married—that your wife wouldn’t appreciate something new and really nice to wear or occasionally some other gift that expresses, with an exclamation point, how you feel about her (within the parameters, of course, of your miserable budget). It’s just that a constant, daily expression of affection, in both words and actions, is far more meaningful in the long run" (italics added).
May our choices reflect the love we have in our hearts for those in our lives.
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