Peaceful Fighting

There are times in life when you aren't sure if what you are doing is a good thing or bad thing. You don't want to step on any toes and you certainly don't want to stick your nose where it doesn't belong.

Then someone asks that question, "What did you think?" Ak! Eject button, eject button! Where is the eject button???

You may have a lot to say and you may not, but you certainly don't know how to approach it. Most definitely it is easier to look through the fragile window pane to the inside than it is to be on the inside trying to keep that glass from breaking.

This happened to me last night and the rough part of it was that there was so much stirring in my head. Many things I would like to have blurted out maybe would not have been the most pleasant and I certainly didn't want to offend anyone.

So, to stay safe and assess the situation further, I listened. Then I talked about observations and gave experiences from my life. We chatted for nearly two hours.

I could see in her face what I saw in my mother for many years. The only difference is that she knows the promises she has made and she is willing to fight for those blessings. The love she feels in her heart outweighs anything else.

In the moments we shared together I gained a great admiration for this woman. She has her struggles, and we all do. She is willing to admit her imperfections. She is a learner. She wants the very best for those around her and knows she can't force it upon anyone. She is becoming a peaceful fighter.

The peaceful fighting is perhaps the hardest thing to learn. It doesn't involve the raising of voices, getting in anyone's face or saying anything at all.

Peaceful fighting is getting things resolved through compromise and being the bigger person by walking away.

When someone is in the state of mind that something is going to be done a certain way, it is not a good situation to discuss things in. You must learn to tell them the stipulations upon which you are willing to talk, turn around and walk away.

Those who are looking to vent will learn that their behavior is no longer accepted. They must learn that the way to effective communication is not to "tell" people, but to "share"; that approach is 99 percent of the conversation; and that raised voices and playing the victim will not stand.

It is easy to play the victim and wonder why things are so hard for you and point fingers. The real challenge comes in learning to be the bigger person, realize there may need to be some changes and listen to those around you. You may not like what they have to say, but everyone has a right to their opinion and to "share" their feelings.

There are many other things we talked about and that I learned. Perhaps I will share it at another time. All I can say for now is that I am greatful to know there are people out there willing to fight for what they want. This woman is amazing and the love she exhibits is Christ-like in every way.