Stepping Outside the "Zone"

Today I did something new. I went to what would be my home ward because our singles ward didn't have church. There were two motives for going there and not with my mom. The first being that there was a boy I met last week at a fireside; the second being that I wanted to see how the ward was.

Truthfully, I should have gone there a long time ago. But I told myself I could be in the same ward with Trevor and I felt it would be OK. It was all fine and dandy until this last month or so. It is a challenge now.

Anyhow, my incentive to try to new waters came because this boy came up to me and introduced himself. Like the nervous wreck I am around boys I stammered over my words to introduce myself in return. In any event, I felt it was an encouraging exchange.

I went to the ward on Sunday morning with the hope of seeing him again. The power had gone out, but they started Church anyway asking people to move up so they didn't have to shout. It was then that I saw him. He was moving from the chairs to the pew just in front of me on the other side.

I sat there for a few minutes debating whether or not to move. Finally, I told myself, "What do you have to lose?" So I picked my stuff up and moved to sit by him. I asked if he was saving the seat and he stammered to say no. I laughed to myself on the inside because I was stammering on the inside being outside of my "zone."

There was not another exchange until Sacrament meeting ended and he asked me my name again. I verified that his name was Ryan, not Brian like I thought previously. He then told me where Sunday School was.

It was interesting to observe his body lingo and that of another boy in the YSA class. He was cute too. They are both the quiet type. But in class, I spoke out more than I normally would my first time somewhere. I figured if they wanted to accept me for who I was, they would or wouldn't. But, I have to put myself out there to give them that opportunity. One more step outside of the "zone."

I was thinking today about sparks of light. While I need to look for them in my life, I also need to give other people the opportunity to see them in, and through, me.

One of my sparks of light today was seeing this young girl talk about this boy, or maybe there were two different ones. She is probably a year out of high school, maybe two. She was talking about all of their redeeming qualities: return missionaries, one listens to conference as he runs each morning, being able to talk for hours about anything, thoughtful little gestures on their part, etc.

She was so starry eyed. For a short moment I thought, "If you only knew what you were getting in to." Then I told myself that I shouldn't look at it that way. She is on her personal journey discovering things about who she is and what she wants, and about what she is looking for in that "special someone."

Now, who knows if any of it will work out. But most importantly, she is so happy. In her I see the hope of a brighter tomorrow and the result of putting yourself out there. God was showing me through her there is hope. There are great guys out there who will be honest with you and who are the Fourth Missionary.

"Wherefore, if a man have faith he must needs have hope; for without faith there cannot be any hope. And again, behold I say unto you that he cannot have faith and hope, save he shall be meek, and lowly of heart" (Moroni 7:42-43).

The Lord brings us down low so that we may be humble and teachable. In these moments we are pulled out of our "zone" so that we can grow. If it were not so, entropy would take place and our muscles would begin to deteriorate and there would be no progression.

"Whatever principle of intelligence we attain unto in this life, it will rise with us in the resurrection. And if a person gains more knowledge and intelligence in this life through his diligence and obedience than another, he will have so much the advantage in the world to come" (D&C 130:18-19).