Today I started to question everything I have done in the last three weeks. Why have I done what I have done? What was I hoping to get out of it? Why did I do it again?
Someone brought something by for me and it was taken away and given to someone else. On the inside I was torn and hurt feeling that what I have done is unappreciated.
As the person was talking to me, I couldn't even focus on what they were saying because I was toggling between feelings of anger, frustration, and unbelief. I had to leave. I couldn't be there anymore.
On my way home, I started to think about everything and if it means anything; if trying to be that person is really worth it. Most often it turns out that I am that person, the person who gets walked on and taken advantage of.
Sometimes I want someone to be there for me. Someone to hold me and tell me everything is going to be OK. Someone who won't take me for granted.
Perhaps this is why I don't feel good about taking this job if it were offered to me. I know I will end up in the same situation I am in for two more days.
I need to find a job and someone who will see me for who I really am and what I am really worth.
1 comment:
I can totally understand the feeling of being unappreciated. Tonight I found out I'm getting a raise. And when my boss handed the info to me he looked puzzled, because I didn't seem that happy. I got the feeling that our management gave us all raises to keep guy's from quitting. Not for the hard work I've done the past few years there. It's been 4 years since my last big raise. I've reached a phaze in my life where more money doesn't seem that important to me. Even though I need it! What is it teaching me? I feel phazes are part of the learning process of life! Weird!!
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