The yellow circle that became a sun

Mary Oliver once said, “Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?”

There are times in our lives when we look at a yellow circle on the canvas of life. It has no dimension; it doesn’t “feel” warm; it is a yellow circle. We live our lives in this mentality missing the beauty that is all around us.

Then, one day, we look at the dot and it begins to take shape, to give warmth, it begins to become tangible. Our “eyes” are suddenly opened to something we had in front of us all along, whether on our own or through the help of others.

I have been living my life looking at the yellow circle and not seeing the sun for a long time. There has been so much I have missed because I was trying to be something I wasn’t.

In the past few months as I have learned to see the sun something inside of me has emerged. Walls are easier to let down, the girl that has been hiding inside has begun to shine; I am taking more risks because I know the source of my “warmth.”

When the love of Jesus Christ begins to take you over, you see things in a different way. He opens your spiritual eyes to see things you never saw before. Then, suddenly, it doesn’t matter what people around you think because you know you are doing everything in your power to align your will with that of your Father in Heaven. Sparks of light begin to form in your life and people begin to take notice.

There have been many things I have done in just the past few weeks because it was what I wanted, not what I thought someone else wanted me to be. I have cut my hair, my “style” has become my own, I am bringing my favorite color into my home, and many other things that make me happy.

In a sense I have become selfish, but I think it is a good thing for a moment. For the first time the other day I told a boy what I wanted in a boy and I wasn’t afraid that he wouldn’t like it. I had a take-it-or-leave-it attitude.

People look at me differently. My friends have noticed I look happier. I can see it in their face as I let them see a glimpse of who I am. It doesn’t mean I wouldn’t rather climb a ladder than talk to a boy, but I am working on changing that little by little.

I am a happier person since some things have changed in my life and I have learned to let the Lord in. He is the one who has helped me, through his art and intelligence, see that the yellow circle is more than what it appears. It is the sun.

So, I ask myself, and I ask you, when all is said and done, will you want to be the person you have become? Will you continue to see the yellow circle, or will you let yourself see that it is much more than a circle, but the very sun that will light up your life and give you warmth to make it through the tough times?